Need advise regarding childs biological father.

Heather - posted on 07/08/2014 ( 4 moms have responded )

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My name is Heather I have a 2 year old son. His biological father has seen him maybe a handful of times since hes been born. Hes not on any form of documents stating that he is the father. He doesnt help pay for anything and doesnt have any interaction with my son. Ive been with my current boyfriend for almost 2 years and he wants to adopt my son. Everyone ive talked to says that we have to be married and his biological father has to sign over all of his rights. Im afraid that if we try and do this that then his real father is going to try and start seeing him. What should I do?

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Ev - posted on 07/08/2014

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But if you have not put any legal steps into the works, then there is not much you can say to him about wanting to see his son. He has the right to a relationship with his child even if he only saw him a handful of times at the most. Sometimes, Heather, some men are not ready to become a parent and it takes time for them to adjust as it did you. He may not have been mature in how he has acted up to this point but at least now he wants to try. Can you not give him the benefit of the doubt a bit? Also, since you have not said you have legal custody, he could come get the child and not give him back forcing you to go to court for that as well. He can ask for a paternity test and get visitation but you should insist on him pay support as well. You did chose this man to be with and have relations with. But that does not make him a bad man when he did not come see the child as much as you thought he should. I am not saying he did right at all but I am saying he does deserve that chance. And until you make yourself the legal custodial parent while he is asking for visits, if you keep the child from him, he could call it parental alienation and take you to court for that and it can lead to him getting custody. I am just laying out what can happen in some circumstances.

Heather - posted on 07/08/2014

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I understand that he has a right to see his son but as stated before he hasnt seen him but a handful of time since hes been born, Hes contacted me maybe twice to see him but thats as far as it went. In the begining he was all about being there for the baby then when I had him he was in the hospital with and and asked me to get a DNA test done and I told him if he wanted one he would have to get it done himself because I know that he is the father. Hes never taken me to get one done yet and he didnt put his name on the Birth Certificate. He never bought him anything no Birthday presents or Christmas. No diapers,food cloths nothing. Wouldnt it be considered abandonment?

Ev - posted on 07/08/2014

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I have to agree with Shawnn. You need to do those things to get your now BF to adopt the child. A father has the right to know his kids. Its not up to us mothers to decide when or how or why. And the father can take it to court and ask for visitation if he so chooses.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 07/08/2014

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The biological father does have the right to know and see his child. If you want your current 'boyfriend' to adopt him, yes, you most likely would have to have a marriage certificate, but the important thing is that the biological father would need to sign over rights.

He doesn't have to do so. Get paternity established, request support and a visitation schedule. If he doesn't want to do that, offer him the option to sign all parental rights away.

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