Young - posted on 09/27/2015 ( 17 moms have responded )
My daughter is a year old now almost 2. I left her father with her when she was three months old and moved back in to my mom's house. I left a verbally and physically abussive relationship and he cheated on me numerous times resulting in him having another kid with someone else. I originally reached out to him when I moved home to try and get him to be involved with my daughter and help financially. He ignored me for the longest time.
There has been a lot of back in forth in our relationship and i have finally gotten to a point where all romantic feelings for him are gone thank goodness. I would take my daughter to see him often and he would only come see her if he could get a ride to us which was rare. He only really got a ride for her birthday. Another about six months passed before he saw her again for two days. He had also stopped financially helping my daughter because he said "you don't send me pictures of her so I stopped paying." I recently filed for child support, but I did not tell him about it. He only sends about $80 which is not a lot for a one year old. I am a full time graduate student taking care of my disabled mom at home and I have been raising my daughter by myself.
It feels like whenever he is back it causes stress for me and I don't want to deal with that. I do not know if I should continue to talk to him. I felt uncomfortable when he was around her recently, but I also don't want him to see her for a couple of days one week and miss out on 6 more months then come back. I guess I don't know if I should keep talking to him and updating him or if I should just ignore him all together and continue to raise her alone. I know when I updated him about her doctors appointments she had an MRI and CT he got an attitude with me and acted like he didn't care.
I am afraid once he finds out about me filing for child support he will try and take custody of her. She doesn't even know him and he wants overnights with her. When he was here he picked her up and she was crying because he doesn't make the effort to be consistent in her life so she can know him. He is the type of person to want to see her for a few hours then give her back when its time to be a parent.
He just wants to play all day with her. He keeps saying " I will do what I have to do to see my daughter" he has been making that threat to me for months now and nothing happens but it is still upsetting. talking to him stresses me out so much I feel sick. He really wanted to come see her and I told him a different day next week would be best to come see her and he has the worst attitude about it, but I didn't say he couldn't come I just need to reschedule with him.
I don't feel like he can be a parent or he doesn't understand. It seems like whenever he doesn't get his way he becomes defensive and negative. I really don't want him in her life if he will be popping in and out, but that is not fair to her and everyone is saying my daughter will grow up to be mad at me. I don't know what to do. Things were easier when he didn't have my number or address.