Need help

Mel - posted on 08/24/2013 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Hi all really in need of some advise :(My partner/ daughters father has crazy amounts of personality changes his work councillor has told him she thinks he may have bipolar, i have suspected something like that for sometime now but now the councillor has said it to him he has gotten so so much worse to the point I can't take it anymore, I don't no what to do anymore I've taken him to doctors but its a huge wait for him to see a specialist I don't have any family to go and stay with and he won't leave. Please help and give some advise on what I can do to help the situation and if anyone else has been or no of someone in kinda in the same situation.

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Mel - posted on 08/26/2013

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All my friends work I have a sister but she also works full time and can't really help witg the kids my partner listens to her alot so that's where she helps dad lives 8 hours away and my mum passed in 2011 so it's all pretty reliant on me atm, I no it's mental abuse what's going on but I also no he can't help it as there is definitely a underlying prob, thanks for chatting to me means a lot to hear some advise :)

Shirl - posted on 08/25/2013

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Sounds like your in a hard and heart breaking situation. It must be overwhelming. Taking care of children and running a home can be overwhelming even in a happy marriage. Do you have friends that could help you some with the children? Sometimes just having a short break for yourself can put things in better perspective. It makes me sad that you have to tolerate being talked to that away. No matter how sorry he is afterwards, no one deserves to be called names . I don't know the answers to your situation, but I have been in a abusive relationship in my life and know that you can't help him at the cost of your on self esteem and self worth. I wish you, him and your children the best.

Mel - posted on 08/25/2013

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Thanks shirl, I don't feel we're unsafe in the sense he will physically hurt us it's more my mental state I'm concerned about, things can be fine for a few days after him speaking with someone but then he just reverts back to his unstable self, in the past when he was in good moods I was happy and things were great but 3 years on now when he is in happy moods I'm still angry, and I'm finding it hard to be happy anytime he is around, I love him, but I just don't no how much more I can take, I don't want to just abandon him because he may/may not have bipolar but the wait to get him seen is so long, he loves us and wishes he didn't act the way he does and regrets the things he says, but I can't seem to ignore it anymore and all the nasty stuff is taking its toll on me now, I'm a stay home mum as we have no one to help with the kids and on the wages we get we're just scraping through so can't afford childcare and any job I get won't pay enough to cover it, so if I ever ask him to watch our bub (whome is very full on) so I can have a second to myself to shower sit alone in another room etc he's fine with it but then afterwards I get I'm so lazy I'm a s@&t mum and everything else u can think of to put me down as I said he does regret it afterwards and is sorry but it's made me not want to ask him for the help again and i live to look after my kids but it is nice to be able to have a moment to myself even once a month that is one of the small issues I have, I also have 2 other children that he happily took on at the beginning but he also takes his moods out on them by saying just hurtful things, he has slowly got beta with that now but still sometimes it comes back out.. So anyways after that novel lol all I'm really wanting to no is ways to stick it out and not go mental myself and not let it have long lasting affect on my kids until he gets the help he needs from specialists I no once he gets the help he will be an amazing person but its the process getting there I'm worried about.

Shirl - posted on 08/25/2013

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I don't know what changes your partner has had, but if you or your daughter are in a situation where you could be physically harmed you need to leave. Go to a shelter! Call your local shelter and they can give you information you need to keep you and your daughter safe.

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