Need help!!

Rebecca - posted on 04/19/2015 ( 5 moms have responded )

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I have joint custody of my daughter. She loves with me full time and sees her dad every other weekend. Right now we live 45 mins away from eachother. He has never really been there for our daughter. Showing up late to special occasions, pawning her off. Today he told me in 2 months he'll be moving. A four hour flight away. His reasoning is to make more money and support himself. I'm furious. Is there anything about joint where he can't move that far? I want to fight for sole. Our daughter has never been a priority to him, and this was just the icing.

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Sarah - posted on 04/20/2015

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Well I think that is way young to put on a plane to go visit dad. So unless he is going to come get her, how would he ever visit her?

Sarah - posted on 04/19/2015

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I see your point. Maybe it's best to let him go and you can file for child support. Let him know that once he is settled you are open to him reaching out to make arrangements to visit his daughter. How old is your daughter?

Rebecca - posted on 04/19/2015

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I'll give you a bit of back round on him. When she was first born about 3 months after he slowly started disappearing . He has gone months on end before without seeing her. All last summer all I would hear is my house is too messy my mom will watch her. I have no food. Than I'd often have to go buy him some. 2 years ago he seizured from a side affect of drugs. Lost his liscense and didn't learn because it happened again. 3 times to be exact. He occasionally misses child support payments
And despite all this I never kept her from him. I thought he changed and I settled for joint. What I don't get is he never tried to look for a job here first . Or even a second one? It's not me taking her from him, it's him leaving her. And it breaks my heart. I have a gut feeling he will entirely cut her out with this move. But I also don't want to stop him. If his own daughter isn't going to keep him around there's not much I can do..

Sarah - posted on 04/19/2015

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If where you and he resides is not spelled out in your custody agreement, then he can move. How does he plan on fulfilling his obligation to his daughter? You can try to get your custody order amended to prevent him from moving, but if it betters him financially it helps your child in the long run as well. Perhaps modifying the order to her visiting him over the summer and every other holiday would be a better arrangement. You don't want him out of her life. He's her father, whether he is a dream dad or not does not change that fact.

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