Need help for a husband who yells and swears at you infront of kids

NORA - posted on 08/31/2015 ( 1 mom has responded )

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my husband of 20 years, but we have thought of divorcing for the last 5 years since he would yell and scream at me in front of our kids when I am disciplining my teenage daughter for continuously losing everything, asking her to clean her bathroom (stinky, sink & bathtub are full of hair, dirty and greasy, dirty and clean clothes, food wrappers, empty shampoo bottles, dirty dishes, etc. all on the floor), bedroom (same as bathroom mess plus clothes all over the floor, dirty socks, school things, food on the bed) and all her stuff (from dirty clothes, food wrappers, dirty dishes, etc.) are in the living room, dining room and kitchen. When I ask her to pick after herself, help out and refuse to replace missing things or pay for damaged and missing things, my daughter would yell back and swear at me with F*** and my husband would not tell her to stop. Instead, he would tell me to stop and accused me of abusing my daughter for trying to tell her to help out and pick after herself. She stop listening to me because she knows my husband will take her side and will not even tell her to clean up and help out. I work over 40 hours a week (full-time plus part-time job) to pay for her catholic private education, but my husband will not even discipline and allow her to disrespect me. We end up fighting and yelling at each other because of him taking the side of my daughter. All this behavior is witnessed by my 7-yr old son who is now starting to answer me back and not listening to me because he does the same way to me when I am disciplining him. However, he yells at my kids and discipline them and I don't meddle with them and I just walk away. My kids take his side because they know they can get away with him. He let my son play x-box, iPad and computer games all weekend long and at night during school days. When I hide those electronic things, he finds them and give them to my kids. Even during dinner, the kids are on the phone or video games. I continue to tell them to stop, but he would say let them finish they are almost done, but it continues on. The way we raise our kids are so different, yet he continues to argue and do the opposite and allow my teenage daughter to yell and swear at me. I am the bad guy and yet he accuses me of abusing my kids. He has brain washed my daughter that I abuse her for telling her to help out, pick after herself and take care of things because they costs a lot and I have to work double jobs to pay for her tuition and things. Yet, my husband would always think that I am abusing her for telling her these things.
Need advice and help to deal with the husband and the kids disrespectful and spoiled behaviors.

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NORA - posted on 08/31/2015

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I meant swears at me in front of kids while disciplining or talking to the kids for unacceptable behavior.

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