Need Help! Odd situation!!

User - posted on 09/16/2013 ( 29 moms have responded )

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My two year old loves to sleep with me in the mornings and we love to cuddle! Well the other morning we were sleeping I had a dream I was kissing someone, When I woke my face was in her hair in the back of her head! I am terrified of when I was kissing the person in my dream that I kissed the side of her head! Help! Anyone done anything similiar? I feel sick to my stomach and have fallen into a deep depression!

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Stacy - posted on 09/23/2013

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It's not like you intentionally made out with your daughter. It was just the back of her head. This is not a big deal at all!! I wouldn't even think twice about it

Jane - posted on 09/18/2013

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You were kissing the back of her head. That was all it was. You were in a dream state and that is all it was. Don't be so hard on yourself. You know in your heart that it was nothing more than a dream. Don't allow it to ruin you being a good mom to your child. It would be different if you were wide a wake and doing these things. But you weren't. We have all woken up from dreams in an odd state from time to time. Forgive yourself for doing nothing wrong and keep loving your child. Getting depressed about something that you did not mean to do, is not worth another thought in your head.

Jen - posted on 09/17/2013

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We can't control our dreams, you are not responsible for your subconscious mind. You have done nothing wrong, and you have not violated your daughter if you only kissed her head, even if in your dream it was something else. That makes no difference to your daughter, and that is what matters. It sounds like you feel seriously disturbed by this, and it is okay to feel those feelings and talk about it with your husband or friends or family members, whomever you think would understand and listen to how you feel. You need to forgive yourself and realize that no matter how creeped out you feel, your daughter has no idea what happened and this will not affect her at all.

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Christy - posted on 09/25/2013

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It is still driving me crazy. I realize I was dreaming and had no idea. But its the thought of an action like that towards my child. Even though in my dream it was a guy and it would have been the back of her head. It has me freaked out!!!

Tess - posted on 09/21/2013

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If I were in your shoes, I'd have felt pretty grossed out initially too,... but you don't KNOW that you did it. Right now, you are beating yourself up over a possibility that you will never be able to find out the answers to unless you live with surveillance cameras. Don't beat yourself up about it without even knowing if the action occurred.

Christy - posted on 09/21/2013

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Not worried of it happening again. Just scared I did kiss the back of her head. Everyone says its no big deal if I did cause I was asleep and it wasnt intentional. But it makes me feel gross.

Tess - posted on 09/21/2013

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I think you would have noticed if you had. Again though, if it is a legitimate concern for you that it will happen again, just set rules for her laying with you. Tell her she can come cuddle with you if you are awake, or even set up special cuddle time during story time or movie time.

Christy - posted on 09/21/2013

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Point is I dont remember.. What if I did french the back of her head in my sleep?? Omg

Tess - posted on 09/20/2013

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Unless you woke up to the back of her head feeling damp because you full on frenched her hair, I wouldn't worry about it. ;)

My ex-husband accidentally hit our son when he was about 2 1/2 because he came sneaking into bed with us in the middle of the night. His dad felt something on his face and smacked it off hard. It was my little boy who had crawled between us and had his arm on his dad's face. Now, obviously, a smacked hand isn't going to cause any damage, but my son was in tears and his dad felt awful for weeks after the event occured. He wouldn't even come to bed the next couple nights because he was worried he'd hurt our son if he snuck into bed. My son, on the other hand, was over it within minutes.

Seeing as how your daughter only comes in to sleep with you in the morning, I don't see this being a big deal. I understand it bothers you now, but in a few months you'll laugh about it. If you are worried about it being a repeat issue, establish boundaries with her, saying that she can only come into your bed while you're awake. That way you can get cuddle time (maybe while reading a story or watching a movie) without the worry of any dream incident.

Valerie - posted on 09/20/2013

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I have a two yr old also...they need to sleep in their own bed...I love cuddling with my baby also.but they need to be in they own room if they kick and scream like mine still does keep putting them back in they room without saying anything explain once they need to be in they room like a big kid evually they will give up and stay in they room

Christy - posted on 09/20/2013

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I have just never heard of someone waking up kissing the back of their kids head. It disturbs me!!

Nicole - posted on 09/20/2013

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it happens to most people not just moms..perhaps with pillows, s.o , or pets ewww
lol

Jane - posted on 09/19/2013

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Hi Again :)

I understand it was disturbing for you - it would be weird for me too, I can understand that. I haven't had this experience so I don't know exactly how you feel. However, it was unintentional, and it doesn't sound like she took any notice. So no harm done to her, it sounds like you are the one suffering here. You can forgive yourself and concentrate on the positive stuff, and be there for your daughter - or just keep rehashing this, which doesn't do anyone any good (including your daughter). I would suggest just talking about your feelings with a close loved one you trust for guidance. Sounds like you may need reassurance from someone who knows you well and you can talk to.

Christy - posted on 09/19/2013

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It bothers me because even though I was dreaming about someone else. The thought of kissing the back of my kids head while making out with someone in a dream makes me sick to my stomach

Jane - posted on 09/19/2013

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Hmm .. sounds harmless to me. Not sure exactly why you are so concerned, but if you are, I would just take steps to avoid it next time (don't sleep with her). I don't think it's an issue at all, but if you get that worried about it - spare yourself the grief and just avoid that situation. Two year olds are completely innocent and wouldn't have a clue even if it was you acting out a dream - sounds like it's bothering far more than her, so maybe ask yourself why it's bothering so much. It needn't really.

Christy - posted on 09/18/2013

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Thanks for the responses. The guilt I feel is overwhelming. I know it wasnt intentional but it makes me sick. It was the back of her head too!! I just cant get any comfort :(

Christy - posted on 09/17/2013

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Nope just possibly kissing the back or side of her head thats it.... And while I was asleep dreaming of just kissing someone else no more

Cecilia - posted on 09/17/2013

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Do you think you did more than kiss her head? I'm sorry if it seems rude to ask but from what you said before it sounded like you only kissed her. Feeling guilty about kissing her, or feeling kissing her is violating her makes me wonder.

Cecilia - posted on 09/17/2013

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I say don't worry. it was kisses. Even if they were sloppy, just kisses.

Gena - posted on 09/16/2013

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If you kissed her side of the head dont worry..was she sleeping? Maybe she didnt even realize anything,and maybe you didnt even kiss her. Dont stress to much... i think it would be worse if you had a dream like my husband... he was dreaming that a robber broke into our room and he attacked the robber...well actualy he grabbed me by my head sooo hard that i woke up shocked and thought I was being attacked by a robber;-) My husband felt so bad but its not his fault,it happend only once and it was just a dream.So dont feel bad.

Christy - posted on 09/16/2013

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Because in my dream I was making out with someone! Scared I nade out with the side or back of her head. I know it sounds insane :(

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