Need help with a 3 year old, who when Angry and crying, says she can't calm down...

Jennifer - posted on 04/04/2013 ( 3 moms have responded )

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Hello moms! I am new to blogs and forums. But Im looking for a lifeline. I am married with 4 children. My husband and I are both students. My husband is about to begin his dream career after graduating this past December and I have a few more semesters left before I begin teaching. My children are 12, 10, 6 and 3. I returned to school because of a disability that doesn't allow me to work right now. (bad back surgery). Online school allows me to study at my own pace. So I get to spend a lot of time raising my kids which I consider a tremendous blessing. My youngest, K, is the challenge. I have never experienced anger like she has. And its not always a response to me telling her no or that she can't have something. I have found that diversion helps with those cases. She gets so frustrated even on her own that she can't stop screaming, crying, or moving her legs. I will calmly tell her that she needs to try and relax, calm down, and tell mommy what is wrong. She wont answer. I tell her again calmly to calm down. She tells me then that she can't. I ask her why, but she can't answer. I try and encourage her to use her words, but I get nothing. Eventually she just wears herself out. Time outs, quiet time, ignoring, etc., Ive tried it all. Thats when I realized that this is something I am not educated about, as my other children never experienced anything remotely close to what I am going through with K. It breaks my heart. I want her to tell me what is wrong, even if it makes not a lick of sense. But all she can say to me is "I can't" when I ask her to calm down. We do know that she has a few issues as been discovered in a spectrum of autism, but given our current insurance situation, we were unable to move forward with OT. We will be able to in the next 6 months, and so that is why I am seeking help from other moms.
Thanks for listening!

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Jennifer - posted on 04/04/2013

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She does let me hold her. She kinda wraps her arms around me a little tighter than normal. Which makes these types of situations even more difficult when we are in the car or where I can't hold her or if someone else like grandma has her. It's almost like she can't self soothe. She can't calm herself. Even when she had a bunny when she was smaller, those didn't help her. So it's not like she's missing them. She has had this issue since she was born. It's been a rough road.

Dove - posted on 04/04/2013

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Will she let you hold her when she is that upset? If so... that's what I would do.

Other than getting her into some sort of counseling with a child psychologist... I don't know what else to suggest.

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