Need help with figuring out and understanding my 12year old daughter thats been living with her dad and stepmom for the past 3 years

Lori - posted on 01/13/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )

27

0

4

I was not the disciplinarian and I was the "friend" more than the Mom i assume. Her dad left us when she was 3 and I was not the type of mom to take her daughter away from her dad so I stayed here. My family are in other states. She did live with me...and I decided to move us to florida to be with my family when she was 9..i got her dads blessing etc....well, she wasn't happy in florida and hated the school there. we came back to visit and she begged me to stay with her dad for the rest of the school year. I hesitantly agreed. She was going to resume living with me when i moved back here. Well as i'm sure you all know, that didn't happen. She loved her school at dad's and wanted to stay there. Now the rolls ar reversed and I'm gettng her ever other weekend. It sucks. Now at age 12 her stepmoms parents bought a huge piece of land with a large house on it and a big horse barn. bet you know where this is going...yes he bought her horses. FORGET IT! I'll never get her back. I feel like it all my fault, i shouldn't have taken her to florida in the first place. Her attitude towards me is terrible, we fight so much. Ill give you an example...i texted her Hi "Nicole" and she text bck. What do you want?"
I said "nothing, why do you talk to me that way?" she said, "i didn't do anything..if I don't talk to you for awhile its because i'm busy (with the horses etc.) and if I don't, I don't. I'm not a little kid anymore. This breaks my heart. Then I said, you are my only daughter..aren't I allowed to say hi..her text said "1. I didn't say that 2. is not my problem you only had one child so don't say that everytime I say something." Now you have to understand, my daughter truly is a good kid. Very polite and caring. But her atttude is terrible. She said she gets it from me. and I do believe that. I just don't know what to do anymore, I think i know that I need to change the way i am with her and remember that she is a 12 year old pre teen with than attude and doesn't want to be bothered by her parents. When she's here with me, i knock on her door and she says "What!??" and doesn't want to be bothered. Please give me some advise!!!??

2 Comments

View replies by

Lori - posted on 01/14/2013

27

0

4

Thank you Michelle. Id like to think of myself as the "disneyland" mom. We do things together...not every weekend..but most of the time. I could step it up a bit. I work 2 jobs and one is 2 - 3 nights a week and every other weekend. So my only weekend off is the weekend i have her. I know she is my priority, but I can't always "run" when I have housework to catch up on etc. I am willing to try anything to get rid of that attitude she has. I have to back off. Her dad says she does the same up there, but I hear how he handles her attitude. She ends up stopping the attitude and laughs along with him. When she has an attitude with me...whoa..look out. and that's my problem. I need to learn how to handle her attitude.

Michelle - posted on 01/13/2013

2,191

23

1087

Find out from your daughter what her interests are and start doing fun stuff together have a spa day doesn't have to be expensive you can pick the stuff up and do it at home if you have to. She is turning into a young woman and wants to be treated like one. Don't try to over parent her during your time this will backfire. My ex does that to my son who is also 12 and he wants to stop seeing dad all together. Be her friend her confident and let her help chose activities you are going to do make her weekends fun. Be the Disneyland mom yes you should have rules and expectations for her behavior but she will enjoy her time with you more if you step outside the box and try and reach her on her level.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms