Need help with my kids, they do not listen no matter what I do.

Betty - posted on 04/25/2011 ( 10 moms have responded )

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Girl age 6 with ADHD/ODD boy age 8 with ADHD/OCD. I have spanked, taken away all their toys, kept them from going outside and I have done the time out thing. Spanking they laugh at me, not going outside cause they wont stay in the yard they just destroy this inside, and time outs they scream punch walls stomp the floor slam the doors and I have had to carry them to the time out spot with them kicking a screaming at me the whole time. My children do no respond to any form of punishment or meds for ADHD. My daughter has gone as far as kicking her grandmother, hitting and kicking one of her teachers, hitting me, and last year got kicked off the bus for fighting. I have taken parenting classes and none of that works with them. I have used suggestions from DFACS, teacher and their doctor with no luck at all. doing the gluten free diet is hard because we live in a small town and that stuff is very hard to find and when I do it costs to much to do that. I am at my wits end with it. I spend personal time with each one every day, so does their dad and we spend time with them together as well. I NEED HELP AS WELL!!!!

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Jenn - posted on 04/25/2011

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I've heard this said before and it's so true - if you've tried everything and nothing is working, it's because you haven't tried ONE thing for long enough. Nothing will work like magic after just one or 2 times - consistency is SO important, and ALWAYS say what you mean and mean what you say.

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Betty - posted on 04/26/2011

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http://health.msn.com/health-topics/adhd...

I just found this link and it is very helpful. I am going to try to work on this a bit and see if it helps any. I did notice that with some of their easter candy it seems to make them worse than when they ate the other. and that was the jelly beans. That is one thing I will have problems with at Halloween and easter I have tried to hide the candy and give them a little at a time but they plunder in my room and find it.

Jodi - posted on 04/26/2011

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Your fresh veggies won't be a problem. If your daughter won't eat them, try ways of hiding them. Frozen veggies are generally ok too. It's more your packaged stuff you might want to check into.

And yeah, check into the school lunches.

I understand about the money thing, but it doesn't HAVE to be expensive. I guess it depends where you live and how readily available fresh food is. It CAN be really tough focusing on foods with no additives on a budget. For instance, I know the bread we eat is twice the price because it is wholegrain and additive/preservative free. I WOULD make it (occasionally I do), but time just doesn't always permit.

Anyway, I'm rambling. If it is any help, I have one child who bounces off walls if he eats anything with red or yellow food colouring in it. I can't remember the numbers of the top of my head (and I think it differs in different countries anyway), but seriously, he just goes NUTS.

Betty - posted on 04/26/2011

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It is hard to cook food now days that dont have something added to them unless you have a lot of money to put into buying food, which I dont.

Betty - posted on 04/26/2011

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I do fresh vegetables most of the time I steam them. I guess I should check into what colors and flavors affect that. This way I could try to stay away from them.

Jodi - posted on 04/26/2011

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I was more concerned about whether they were getting colours, flavours or other additives, because they are notorious for creating behavioural issues. When you say you cook full course meals, do you mean lots of fresh vegetables? And just check that any packaged food doesn't contain additives or preservatives, etc.....

It was just a thought.

Maybe you should check into what they are fed at school - I have seen some of those school lunches (I am in Australia, so we don't have them) and they are atrocious.

Betty - posted on 04/26/2011

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They get sugar free cool aid and very little candy. I cook full course meals. I am not sure what is in the meals at school. Here where I live I have only found a few cookies and some pasta that is Gluten free. The pasta i use actually has vegetables in it cause that is the only way my daughter will eat them. it is called Garden Delights. I am not sure what else they should be eating.

Betty - posted on 04/26/2011

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I never have time for myself. My kids have actually been fully evaluated and diagnosed with ADHD and the ODD and OCD, my son is only on meds for the ADHD to help him be a little settled in class and something to help him rest at night. No matter how much they play and run during the day without something to help them rest they will be up all night and I mean till 2-3-4 in the morning. My son is not that bad as long as he is on his meds. We take him off them for a week every so often and he has been re evaluated to see if he is growing out of the adhd. We do not use the meds to control them just to help them in school. And we have used consistent punishment. I will not lie I try my best not to spank unless it is something really bad. We had one instance where I was in the bathroom and they decided to leave the house and go walking. They were walking to a friends house about 2 1/2 miles from where we live. Someone had called the cops and I actually sat there and waited for them to get there and the officer told me he was not going to let me raise my voice or spank them for it cause it was not their fault. Now I told them they were not allowed outside for a month and I stuck to it. and I reminded them every time they asked why they could not go out. and yet when the month was up as soon as we went outside they wanted to run out of the yard and I mean right before we walk out the door I tell them if even one foot goes out of the yard we are going back inside and I do exactly that. I do exactly what I say and it does not matter to them. They go in my room and go through my stuff, and like I said before they have almost broken a door in the trailer I live in from hitting and kicking it when I put them in time out. I have the regular door lock, a dead bolt, and latch hook with a spring on it at the very top of the door and an alarm that goes off when the door is opened just to keep them inside when they are not allowed to be outside. before I put them up they had gotten up at 4 am and were about to go outside and if I had not been awake I dont know where they would have ended up. The alarm is loud enough that even the neighbors can hear it. I am confused and I dont know where to turn. I have talked to the teachers and they call me with problems and I talk to my kids and it does not work. Am i just one of the parents with very hard headed kids or is there something I have not tried yet that I am missing.

JuLeah - posted on 04/25/2011

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How do you know they have ADHD ODD and or OCD????

That is a lot and so odd that OCD would be diganosed in a child so young. Some docs are label happy, but that is not always the best approach to take, and meds ?? I'd use care giving meds to developing brains.

Most kids don't respond to punishment in a manner that parents actually want. Kids with this label ... punishment never works.
There are support groups out there. You sound alone in this and I am sorry for that. Ask the teacher's the doctors, the ... whoever for support for yourself- respite care.

I am hearing you say cost and location impact the gluten free options, but I have seen such amazing things come about when kids eat what nature intended for them to eat and quit eating food like substances made in a lab.

Find a hobby or passion for yoruself, something that is yours and your alone. Volunteer maybe? Art, dance, kick boxing ... whatever - something that offers some release

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