Angela - posted on 07/04/2013 ( 40 moms have responded )
I have been dating a man for about a year. We were both previously married for about 20 yrs. Both divorced a couple of years. I have a 16 year old daughter. He has a 15 year old son. Everything was great until we moved in together. I know it is different raising a girl vs. raising a boy, but we are having major problems. My daughter is A honor roll, helps around the house, always happy, never complains. His son is a typical boy who doesn't like homework, chores, etc. The problem is his son will not help at all. I don't ask either of them to do much. Just basically clean up after themselves & bring me their dirty laundry. I do 95% of the housework. His son just will not do it. He walks off when I tell him I am fixing to wash clothes and doesn't bring me his clothes. Then complains to his dad that I didn't wash his clothes. But he doesn't want me in his room to get them. He is always having me drive him and his friends places, asking for money, etc. but never says thank you or offers to help out in any way. I am more structured & type A than my boyfriend who is very fly by the seat of his pants, so the kids have been raised totally differently. I never discipline his son, but they hear me discipline my daughter & remind her of what she is to do. They lived in a 100 year old farmhouse that only had 2 bedrooms. I paid for all of the materials & my daughter & me helped turn the dining room into her a bedroom. His son had a room with a door a closet. But now he is saying that his dad is favoring my daughter because she has a "new" room. Even though we are now in the process of repainting his room & getting him new bedding as well. He is a very unhappy child. Nothing is ever good enough. And I overheard him lying to his father saying that I had not fed him lunch yesterday. My daughter & I went to the grocery. I asked if he wanted to go but he said he wanted to stay home and sleep. We brought him back lunch and dessert. He is turning his dad against me & has no reason to. I made him a pitcher of tea (he will not drink water or milk) & he drank the entire pitcher in less than 4 hours. I did not have enough sugar to make him another pitcher so I told his dad as they were leaving to run an errand that he needed to grab a 2 liter so his son would have something to drink later. His dad went off on me and asked why I didn't have anything in the house that his son would drink. I just feel like it isn't going to work. We have raised our kids very differently. They are both older teenagers who won't be home for many more years. My child is not perfect & I know that. But he lets his son sit & do nothing. And my daughter is starting to resent living there because she still is made to do her chores, her homework, etc. & she feels I am favoring his son because I just sit on the sidelines in order to not cause waves. What do I do?