Need help with possible custody for my son

Ayana - posted on 03/22/2014 ( 2 moms have responded )

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Hi everyone! After reading some posts other mothers have posted I decided to do my own and ask fellow moms for help. My son is 5 months old and my ex boyfriend (father) and I have been separated since he was one month old. I didn't ask for child support after break up but did let him and his family see my son when they asked. We broke up because he was verbally abusing me and was rude to my mom, cursing at her and such. Which I thought was very disrespectful since my parents let us live with them since I wanted to go back to school (I'm in school now). He kept on saying everyday we are stupid, have no common sense etc. and I got very tired. After breaking up, he saw our son about 5 times perhaps and Everytime caused an argument. He would yell, holding our son, who would cry frantically the whole time. Last time I was there even his mom got in and she's a cop in my county so she does use her power. They probably think I'm scared bc she's is an officer. So two days ago I said I'm not going to meet him at his mothers because I'm not comfortable being there since a big argument erupts and I feel bullied. After this he said he took 'actions' I'm guessing filed for court. His sister texted and cursed at me saying I'm selfish for not bringing him to their house. I would rather tell them come to Over to my house if he didn't threaten he would plant drugs and blame it on my stepdad. He does have a criminal record for robbing houses as a juvenile. He doesn't live with his mom but with his aunt. The house is very dirty. His mother doesn't have free rooms for my son if they did decide on keeping him overnight which I don't want. Oh and arguments began because they demanded that. We were not married, his name is on the birth certificate, he doesn't help out at all to raise a child, he was never good at keeping a job longer than 6 mo. So does he have any rights and what would court probably decide? I never declined him to see my son bc I thought it would backfire in the future but I don't want him taking him with him alone or keeping him overnight. I don't trust him and he has major anger issues. He would hold my son and yell at me without giving a regard that he was crying hysterically. What should I do now? Wait, seek advice? I'm only 20 and don't have much experience in these type of issues. Thank you!

2 Comments

View replies by

Michelle - posted on 03/23/2014

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Yes he does have rights, just as much as you. It doesn't matter if he pays child support or not, they are separate issues.
It would be in your best interest to get to court and have the visitation and child support in writing.
Get yourself a good family lawyer and get advice from someone who knows the laws where you are.
If he takes your child before there are any court orders he doesn't have to give him back, that's the reality of not having court orders in place as soon as you split!!!

Ayana - posted on 03/22/2014

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And he also flirts and talk to young girls (around 14-16). If I get proof of it would it be against him? I also found out during my pregnancy he would talk to them.

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