Need opinions on what to do about mean kids.

Maggie - posted on 04/02/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )

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Okay, so my daughter is in kinder and she has been doing great at school. There have been a few issues here and there involving a certain mean girl. She is very shy. Today she started crying out of no where and said it was because that girl was being mean to her. They sit in the same table just this week I guess the teacher moved the kids around.I don't know if to let the teacher know or just tell my daughter to brush it off. It breaks my heart to see my daughter cry. But then I want her to learn to deal with kids like that. What should I do?

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Guest - posted on 04/03/2014

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I would let the teacher know. Just send her an email asking her to call you about some issues. Tell her you are not sure exactly what is going on because you are only hearing your daughter's side of the story, but that you are very concerned because your daughter is very distressed about this girl. Ask the teacher if she could seat them further apart and keep an eye on their interactions.
Remember, if you are in a public school, she probably has 15 to 20 children in her class, so she is not going to see every little thing that goes on. Some kids are very good at picking times when the teacher is distracted, working with another student or small group, to bother another kid. Kids are also encouraged not to "tattle" so your shy little girl might be too timid to speak up.

My son had a similar problem. One boy was bothering him--nothing malicious in our case, but enough to distract and annoy my son--but he was afraid to tell the teacher because she always looked so busy, and he didn't want to tattle. Eventually, I emailed the teacher and we talked on the phone, she was more than happy to put a little distance between them. She also took my son aside the next day and told him that even if she looks busy, it is okay to let her know if someone is bothering him repeatedly, she just doesn't want kids coming to her for every tiny little thing.
That was kindergarten, he is in 3rd grade now and is actually best friends with the little boy. Turns out, that boy was the youngest of 4 boys, and his brothers, who he looked up to and loved dearly, only ever interacted with him by picking on him and playing tricks on him, so he thought that was how to make friends! Poor kid! Now he's a great boy and they are great friends :)

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