Need Recommendations for Temper Tantrums

Joselyn - posted on 09/19/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I have a 9 1/2 year old boy who has severe temper tantrums. I try my best to calm him down, but most of the times this doesn't work. Fortunately, at school he's perfectly fine. He has no outbursts. He only acts out when he's at home. Whenever something doesn't go right for him. For ex: losing while playing a video game. Can anyone recommend any strategies to calm his outbursts? Thank you.

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Jane - posted on 09/19/2013

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I have a similar situation - I have a fairly introverted son, and he tends to get home and let out his emotions at the end of the day - where he feels safe (with me). Sometimes It really bothers me, because end of the day, last thing you want are outbursts, but I get it. Our doctor agreed - she said it's very common for kids to act one way at school in front of friends, and on the bus, and in front of teachers - then come home, and unwind and let it all out. The day's frustrations, etc. I wouldn't make a big deal of it.

We let him have "down time" when he gets home, and no one bugs him. Some people need this (adults too). Either he gets exercise outside (shooting hoops), plays videos, or reads. But that's HIS time, and he's letting off steam if he needs to. I don't try to calm him down (although mine doesn't have full on tantrums, he's just generally in a mood sometimes) so much as let him unwind - it's usually 1/2 hour, and then he's happy and ready to join the rest of the family. I

I would let him get it out - and then when he's calmed down, ask him if anything is troubling him. Some kids are more prone that others - perfectionists, introverts, etc. tend to get more frustrated sometimes when they can't get something right. If it's something bigger going on at school, then that needs to be addressed obviously, but this time of year, I hear this is quite common when school and activities start up. A lot going on for kids.

Hope that helps :) I know quite a lot of kids like this, have talked to a lot of moms going through the same thing.

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Joselyn - posted on 09/20/2013

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Thank you for your reply, Jane. I do understand that they need down time and it's quite common that children tend to get home and have outbursts. Especially when they've had a long day. I know they feel like they're are in their comfort zone when they get home. What I have done for the past couple of days is I try to get him to exercise (like you recommended). He has so much energy!

Thankfully, he has been having a good start with school. Unlike other years, where he would come home and start yelling that kids are bullying him. Like your son, my son is also introverted. He will only make conversations with other kids, if they talk to him first. I am trying to get him to come out of his shell.

Thank you again for your comments and thoughts. Stay in touch.

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