Rachel - posted on 07/26/2016 ( 3 moms have responded )
Ill try and keep this as short as possible. I have a 5 yr old and I had left this father before I gave birth. He later committed suicide a few years ago. Fast forward I had met a guy and now we are not together anymore. He has asked to stay in my sons life. I have a few concerns... 1) will this confuse him due to he will realize this person really isn't his real father eventually (I need to add here that I have repeatedly explained to my son this is our friend, however, I think he is completely confused regardless even though he called him by his first name ) and that his real father took his own life... 2) I know he wants to maintain a relationship but actions speak louder than words, when we were together (for about 3 1/2 years) he has never helped with doctors visits, clothing, and when I brought up school its very important to me that he goes to a private school with great education and since it was so costly I had asked him to help out and he told me I should put him in public school to avoid cost (him and I both were privileged enough to go to private schools), when I had received the news of his fathers passing my now ex did nothing and was not supportive what so ever, he has been very degrading to me as a woman as well. These actions show me that he;s being more selfish about his own needs and emotions than my sons.... my son does say he misses him and I like him to always express his thoughts/feelings... one of the reasons why we broke up is because he was all talk and no action and likes to get wasted by himself and would ignore us completely...my thought is if he's not good enough for me he's not good enough for my son.....and not only that would he be a good role model teaching my son on how to treat women and to be a father someday to his own family. Am I doing the right thing by just cutting all contact... Im only 31 and would eventually love to find a good Christian man for both me and my son that would be in our lives forever...