need some advice about my 12 year old

Lynsey - posted on 09/27/2014 ( 10 moms have responded )

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My daughter will not do what I ask her she swears at me and she has also hit me

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Dove - posted on 09/27/2014

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If my 12 year old daughter ever swore at me she would be grounded from friends, computer, TV, and her phone (her 'top 4'... especially the friends) for a bare minimum of at least 24 hours. If she ever hit me I would call the police on her.

These are behaviors I absolutely would not tolerate... but my kids are well aware of that from much, much younger than 12.

What have you tried so far?

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American - posted on 09/28/2014

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Kids test boundaries but this behavior has gone beyond that. You should never allow her to hit you I would have called the police out. if she ever left my house again it would be to school only Peoria. You need to show this little girl who is boss.

Sarah - posted on 09/28/2014

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Tonya, how can your 14 yo not be forced to come home? What judge would ever let a minor choose where they get to live? I'd go pick her up and take the sheriff with me.
Maybe I am not clear on what a "Youth Shelter" is exactly. A place for homeless youths was my guess, but is it a detention facility? If she can get services such a anger management and counseling while she is there, then maybe that's where she should be. But if it's just a roof over her head...She is taking a spot from a child that may really need it, and she belongs with your roof over her head.

Sarah - posted on 09/28/2014

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Dove, you make an excellent point that these behaviors cannot and should not be tolerated even from toddlers. If they don't learn early to respect you and treat you properly; by the time they are twelve (and probably almost as big as you) you have even more difficult time breaking the pattern of poor behavior.

Dove - posted on 09/27/2014

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If she's been arrested 3 times in 2 weeks maybe they are keeping her there, so she doesn't have the freedom to keep breaking the law....

Tonya - posted on 09/27/2014

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Kids today have no consequences, I have a 14 year old in the youth shelter that will not come home and does not have to according to the courts she does not have to .She has been arrested 3 times in a 2 week period. So they are letting her hide there so she does not have to face any consequences.

Michelle - posted on 09/27/2014

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Like the other ladies have asked, what are the consequences for her behaviour?

Sarah - posted on 09/27/2014

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When did this start and what have you tried to get her to treat you properly? All of my kids 18 down to 10, have phases of totally obnoxious behaviors. It seems as they grow up they decide to try to see if they can push the boundaries. There must be things she enjoys or wants and for my tweens, nothing was more effective than taking away their phone, Ipod, computer time or social events.

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