Need some help

Sunlight1 - posted on 01/11/2014 ( 5 moms have responded )

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Hello. I. Have this issue with my husband. The problem is his short temper and anger. He is doing mostly to our child who is 1 years old. When. He gets his frustration period and out child starts crying my husband starts yelling at him telling him he is a piece of s... That the child is the reason for marriage problems. Last time he kicked over the living room table making my baby fall over backwards. My baby always comes to me which makes my hubby more in rage he says that baby our child too much and that he turns out to be a bastard. I get mad at my husband all the time when he treats our child this way. He believes m kid does it on purpose just to piss him off. I fell weak really weak. I have been to a shelter before with my child. But here comes my issues I live in the USA but I am German. So i have no friends or family here in the USA. No support at all. There are previous documents from his behavior at the police. Including him locking me in the house one time. He used to physically abuse me really bad including black eyes. I just can't forgive him even now he's stopped doing it. But he threatens to bear our son if he don't stop crying. He then says he would never do it just saying it. I have stomach pains and other physical problems now every day because of how things are. In trying to make things work. Problem is in my country I would get much more support. I'm confused I don't know if this will ever get better. I think I gave him enough chances we have been together for 3 years. At the beginning whe he physically hurt me I believed his excuses that he was stressed because of military service but it continued even after he left service. I don't think he will ever change he won't make use of therapy either

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Melissa - posted on 01/12/2014

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Please keep us posted when you do ,. We are here , concerned mothers ,. I am a single mum with a one one and half year old . , I have done it on my own since he was born ,. Trust me , he is your best friend , you do not need him , and don't deserve his abuse ,, please leave , and never look back .

Onetraeh - posted on 01/12/2014

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& he's not right for putting his hands on u either but I'm just saying if not for yourself thn do it for your child & do wht u have to do

Onetraeh - posted on 01/12/2014

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u should have left the minute he kicked over the table & made your baby fall over backwards;it's one thing to take out your anger on another adult but the MINUTE it's affecting an innocent child makes tht person a true piece of shit!ugh!actually I didn't mean leave tht minute in front of him;of course act like everything is okay.whn he goes out preferably for a long time say to go to work?pack up your stuff & leave.there has to be resources u can reach out to in your area;if u want I can look some up if u tell me wht city you're in.but u need to leave if not for yourself thn for your baby...so he made the baby fall over backwards so wht's going to happen the next time he gets angry?he can't control it obviously & the fact tht your child is running to u means he's scared & tht's unacceptable!becuz everyone deserves a childhood & he shouldn't be scared he should feel safe.

Melissa - posted on 01/12/2014

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You need to leave before he hurts your son . He has already hurt you , and he is blaming an innocent baby ,. He needs help and even then he may not change ,. When you get an opportunity to leave , do so . Only take what you need and get to a shelter , and never look back ,. My thoughts are with you and your son . ,

Jodi - posted on 01/12/2014

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You need to leave and take your child with you. I know you say that you are German so you have no family, but that is not an excuse for not leaving. Go to a shelter and get help. They will be able to help you with legal services, provide you with shelter and even help you to get yourself on your feet getting work, any government or other assistance, and so on. You cannot continue to subject your child to this sort of relationship. Do you want your child growing up thinking this is okay? That this is how relationships work? It is not a healthy environment. Yes, he will most likely get custody/visitation rights, but if you have documented evidence of his behaviour and anger, you may be able to request supervised visitation. This is where you will need some legal help. But you need to find it in yourself to get out of that relationship. Can your family in Germany provide any financial assistance to you to get you on your feet?

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