Need some help Mummies! Asap!!!

Bridgette - posted on 11/23/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I am 17 years old, I am also 23 weeks pregnant with a beautiful baby girl. Nothing is wrong with the pregnancy, I just need some advice on the father side of this.



I had gotten rid of him in the beginning as he just couldn't handle the fact that he was going to be a father, when we were only together for a short amount of time. A lot more to the story, he didn't show up for appointments, but the main thing that caused me to cut him out of the picture was that his best mate tried to cause me to miscarry (he has two assault charges both to pregnant women in the past by punching them in the stomach.) This all happened when I was around 6 weeks pregnant, all within the first two weeks of finding out about the baby all these events had occurred.



ANYWAY!

I've been thinking a lot about the father recently (not to get back with him or anything) but about my little girl. Like one day she is going to want to meet him and get to know him, and when that time comes I don't exactly want this all coming back at me and her hating me over the things that I did to protect her by keeping him out of it (even though he showed no initiative in actually doing anything for her or even showing up to appointments about her and with his best mate being ... violent)



So I'm not too sure whether I should patch up a friendship for her sake or what ? :(

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Michelle - posted on 11/24/2012

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You don't have to have a friendship with the Father (it does help though) but it's best to keep the communication open. Make sure your daughter knows who her Daddy is and that he gets updates about her. It's his decision if he doesn't want to be involved with her life but you need to make sure that you aren't the one stopping him.



She has every right to know who her Father is and she will be happy that you didn't stop her from knowing him when she's older.

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Michelle - posted on 11/24/2012

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As parents we have to put aside our own feelings sometimes for the sake of our children. Also make sure that you don't "put down" her Dad in front of her. It wasn't her choice to have him as a Father.

Bridgette - posted on 11/24/2012

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Thank you so much for your response, it's giving me more insight for this situation. Just trying to figure out what what is best and right for her when she is here, even beforehand.

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