Need suggestions on how to deal with hyperactive children
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D - posted on 09/05/2009
I did not know boys could sit still until I saw one sitting still at church. I started reading all the books I could find on ADD & ADHD (my son has ADHD). Once I learned what I was dealing with, it was easier to understand what was the ADHD and what was my son's misbehavior or acting out.
Scheduling was a MUST! -which means you as the parent must take control and set boundaries. This does not mean being a control freak, but letting your children know what is expected and what the limits are. Before going anywhere, I explain my expectations. A consequence is also explained. If there is no enforcement of the consequence then they (my children) soon learned I was not serious and did whatever they wanted. As the parent, I had to be firm, much firmer than I wanted to be. If I grew lax, they quickly took advantage.
My children had to know that there are quiet times and active times. At the end of the day, If for some reason my boys could not settle down, I had them go out in the back yard and run a couple of laps to tire them out. If anything it gave me about 15-20 minutes to recoup. That was the I'm tired, quick fix.
Transition times were difficult and so I found that breaking the news of a change in 5 minute intervals was helpful. So about fifteen minutes before a change, I started warning them. For example: I would tell them it is 15 minutes before the bus will be here, and ask them (not do for them) what do you need to do to be ready? 10 minutes before the bus is here, what do you need to do to be ready? 5minutes and I set the timer. Boys, when the timer rings you should be ready. A timer became my best friend because they could not argue with the timer and it took that pressure off of my back. Also they got their things ready the day before as much as possible. A place for everythng and everything in its place is a wonderful help. Also "Less is more." Too much stuff and it becomes a chaotic clutter mess. Simplify, simplify, SIMPLIFY!!!
Timelines were valuable for all school projects and long-term anythings. Ideally this should be done together (did not know this then) as a team. Break up projects into small pieces that are achieveable in a short space of time. Figure it mathematically. This is due in three weeks, that is 21 days, what steps need to be completed by when. Be definitive. I will begin this step on this day and finish it on this day.
Goals should be set such as summer projects ie: lawn mowing jobs, art classes, swimming lessons. Find what they enjoy. As a youngster my son enjoyed dinosaurs, then moved to Big Cats and Birds of Prey. These things were used as incentives for good behavior, but the real tools for the best results are preplanning and follow through on all expectations. I had to get organized before I could guide my sons.
Robyn - posted on 09/05/2009
I am the mom of 4 kids...my daughter was diagnosed at 12 with Bi-Polar disorder and ADD, she is now 17 and has overcome her obsticals and graduated a year early...my middle son on the other hand was diagnosed at 4 with ADHD and ODD(Oppositional Defiance Disorder) and let me tell you he was a handful. I was told to keep him out of school in Kindergarten because he "would not succeed like other kids his age"...well I didn't keep him out of school, I went to school with him until he was put on his medication and wow what a difference that made. Within a week he was going to school on his own. I don't know if what helped my son will help you with at least the 9 year old...first and foremost have him tested for ADD or ADHD, it will help him so much if you catch it now...and I have learned a few secrets from some of the other parents of kids with the same disorders as my son...here are a few things that help calm my son down if his meds are wearing off early.
1) something with caffeine...Mountain Dew (small glass) Vault (small glass) Any Energy Drink (very small amount) and finally if they like coffee give them a little bit (mostly milk with enough coffee to change the color slightly). I have found that these small things done in moderation have helped my son tremendously.
2) Anything with chocolate...M & M's (small handful)...really works great for my son...and it is a treat for him.
You have to do these in moderation because it will make him sleepy if you give them too much.
The reason that these things work are because anything that will make us hyper, will calm and ADHD child down, you see the meds that they give my son is an Amphetamine, if taken by an average person it would make them so hyper...but with my son because of the ADHD it relaxes him and makes him be able to focus...
And with the 2 year old, he is just copying how the older one acts and also is exploring the world to see how things are out there...have patience and love with him...it will pass. You will see the difference in both of them if you get the right diagnosis and learn to deal with things as they come. Good Luck...
JaRhondaLynn - posted on 09/05/2009
Being an educator and a big sister of a persons who are extremely hyperactive give it ADD, ADHD, Bi-Polar or a combination of any. I have found that changing the daily diet intake has the largest impact on behavior, as well as small instruction. What that means is if there are several things to be done you have to give them simple step instruction. You can't give entire list at one time eg: after you finish eating I need you to go clean your toys up in the game room, read a book for 20 mins, and put on your shoes so we can go to the store. Your child will only get finish eating and put on their shoes. Therefore, small instruction pieces works best and it allows completion of the earlier task. healthy snacking extracurricular sports helps tremendously (basketball, football, soccer, track, gymnastics) It helps to slow down the chemical imbalance level of the brain and allows the child to focus more and it makes for better students. My brother graduated with a 3.0 gpa from high school and he is in his 2nd year of college.
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Tara - posted on 09/05/2009
I am a teacher with several ADHD children in my class as well as an active 3-year-old daughter & 7-year-old step-son. We do a lot of play-doh (sensory stimulation), art projects (creativity & visual stimulation) in addition to regular outdoor activities & play. I know that TV & video games are tempting but do try to limit them as well as sugar, I can tell you that I definitely see a difference when they are over-stimulated by screen time, the same goes for sugar! Routines are extremely important as well as preparing children ahead of time...for instance I like to explain what we are about to do & what I expect & it works really well at school & at home! They can become distracted easily so you may need to redirect but it really helps if they know ahead of time what is expected of them. The occupational therapists that work with some of my students say it makes a big difference as well as scheduling. Good luck, I know we need it! LOL :)
Amanda - posted on 09/05/2009
One word for hypo kids; Distraction, distraction, distraction!!! Keep thier minds busy with puzzles, complex challenges or toys. My sister has ADHD, and the things that kept her quiet and occupied were anything artsy, or anything to do with maths problems. Hope this helps :)
User - posted on 09/05/2009
I have 5 children and 3 of them were dianosed with tourettes syndrome adhd and obsesive compulsive. One things i was told is to always keep them busy. I regret doing this because what i taught my twin boys was to never be content or just calm. they always needed a thrill or adreneline rush. We have done alot of back pedaling as a result. Yes they need to be active but please teach them things such as reading, chess, games, weve found things like adventures in odessey (books on cd) work great! Also I realized just how calm they can be if I just scratch their backs, rub their arms, or just hands on activities to do with sitting still. It CAN be done!!!
It might be a good idea to get some allergy testing done! I watched one of my girls while doing food testing go from reading a book to a dairy shot and she almost right away started literally climbing up the drs. refridgerator, I couldnt believe the change in her! We stopped dairy and saw a huge difference.
The biggest key PRAY! PRAY! PRAY!
BTW my husband was one of those kids and is now an owner of a very successful company, Super star Dad and I think the best husband on the planet!
Jennifer - posted on 09/05/2009
I have two children that suffer from ADHD, even though on medication, there is a time that medication wares off. I use methods of a strict schedule, no caffine, change in eating habits, and more responsibility. I liked the suggestion someone gave previously about outdoors, and biking, those are things kids like to do, and that's what you want to focus on. Try to make it fun for them and helpful for them at the same time. Hope this helps you.
Ashley - posted on 09/05/2009
My 3 year old & 6 year old were always bouncing off the walls. I made a few changes in their diet & gave them so chores to teach them responsiblity & so far so good! I limit their sugar intake, no Kool-Aid, limited juice, limited junk food, zero caffeine. That alone has made a huge difference! I also assigned them some chores to help out around the house, at the end of the week if their chores are done they get a small treat! Hope this helps, Good Luck!
Chelsea - posted on 09/05/2009
They might have ADHD or ADD... My son was very hyperactive and he was diagnosed at the age of 4 with ADHD. With the right medication and a persistent schedule my son is really good. I would get the 9 year old tested, especially if he's hyperactive at school. If my son doesn't take his medication in the morning his teacher knows right away because he is very bouncy and talks a mile a minute and she calls me so I can bring him his medicine. At night when his medication wears off and he is too hyper we make him sit in his room and do something quiet; like read a book or build his legoes. If he gets too hyper during the day we do the same thing. We have him take some deep breaths and sit and watch a movie or read until he has calmed down. It's hard to deal with at times but like I said with the right medication it makes it easier to deal with. My son has his days but overall he does very well. I hope this helps. If you have any more questions please ask!
Becky - posted on 09/05/2009
Hi I have 2 ADD and 3 ADHD children. All but one is an adult now. What I found that helped was a schedule. When you have to go somewhere plan to leave 30 minutes ahead of when you need to. That way you leave on time. Keep them engaged with physical activity. Another issue is what some call "pinging" jumping from one thing to another. That is just what happens. Allow for it, there is nothing really that you can do for it. We had to medicate the youngest of the kids. It helped them with school and they liked not feeling so pressured. As ADHD kids get older they realize how differnt they are. I encourage trying diet changes and scheduling. Don't feel like your a bad Mom. Your not, you're just dealing with more than most Mothers. Keep going!!!
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