Need support and advice

Roxanne - posted on 08/15/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )

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This is my second marriage, I was widowed young with 3 children which I raised pretty much on my own. They all have great jobs, 2 have moved on heir own and a 3rd one is still with us. We just had a second argument about him being friends with his kids and letting do whatever they want. They are very polite children, or should I say young adults(SS 19 and SD 24). The SS just finished is first year at university and came back for the whole summer to live with us. He has never had a job during is HS years, so I told my husband He should work full-time this summer, he kind of agreed and started driving around town to drop off his son`s resume. SS is now home, and no response from anywhere so dad drives around and finds him a full time job with a gardener. SS had the job for 3 weeks until he got fired ( slept in one day, didn't want to come in another day cause he was sore, etc) Not surprised he got fired! He then never looked for another job, does not have his license to drive (yet). I got upset at my husband for not forcing him to look and get a job He lets them do whatever they want, drives the SS into town so he can hang with his buddies. I told him he enables both of his children to not work,and these days you need not only a degree but job experience . My kids always had a part-time job when they were in HS, his kids...never. The SD has never worked during HS either, has been in school for 8 years doing a masters in library science. It took her 6 years to complete a degree in University, since she couldn't handle full-time. So every September she would apply for CPP benefits since she was taking 5 courses( full-time), apply for CPP and get the university to sign her documents , then once that was done she would drop 2 courses. They are cheating the system, but I can't say anything about that either. I am so frustrated to see them not working, and taking advantage of their dad. He does not see it that way. And on another note he just told his Daughter that we fought because I said negative things about her and her brother. I cannot believe he even told her that? I feel like number 3 in this marriage, and we have had no sex in a very long time ?

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Roxanne - posted on 08/15/2013

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And also I was really upset that is son was not seriously looking for an appartment for his 2nd year at university.My husband asked me what he was supposed to do...and I said you sit him in front of a computer(which he does all day anyway) and force him while you are there to look at appartments for rent. My husband asked me why I cared...and my repply was because I do and I don't want the SS to live in a dump. My husband excluded me last september from going along to drive SS to university, instead inviting his daughter to come along. This year it will be the same. His son's bday was just this weekend, and the daughter and her boyfriend were invited...my kids were not.
I had a surprise bday party for my husband in February and invited his kids :) and of course my 3 kids were there too. Is this all normal with step parenting. I am on the verge of separation if it continues. HELP

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