Need To Get My 23-Year-Old Son Out Of My House

Kathy - posted on 06/20/2014 ( 4 moms have responded )

4

0

2

I need some suggestions on how to get my adult son out of my house and living on his own. He doesn't work, doesn't contribute to the household (in any way), has a very bad attitude and temper and is the laziest kid I've every seen! The only good thing I can say about him (and I love him dearly) is that he has not reproduced yet! My husband and I are moving away from the city (and his friends) and I do not want to take him with us. It's OUR time! We've worked hard for 30 years to get here. I will not be denied my time!!!

4 Comments

View replies by

Kathy - posted on 06/23/2014

4

0

2

I WISH he would get his head out of his "ass!" That's for sure. I've been done with him and his laziness, disrespect and lack of participation in life, actually, for a long time. I've already put him on my "I don't give a shit" list. And, you're right. The old man needs to let the boy hit the bottom! His bottom, apparently, is a might lower than ours! I'd never let myself get that deep, that's for sure and for certain. I have no more advice for him, it's been given repeatedly and, sadly, rejected repeatedly. I'm moving on!

I'm glad you didn't have to go through this. You're very, very lucky. You'd flip your lid if I went into the 33-year-old daughter story! Holy smokes! At least she left! Ha! Thanks for sharing, Shawnna

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 06/23/2014

13,207

21

2014

My 20 YO set the terms for his living at home after HS. They included 1/4 of the monthly household expenses (mortgage,utilities) 1/4 the grocery bill and 1/4 'extras' such as internet/phone. He also, at that time, took his initiative with paying his own cell phone bill and vehicle expenses, less insurance, because we get a multi driver discount.

I didn't prompt him to do so, as a matter of fact, his dad and I had only started talking about the monetary and responsibility angle. He also, on his own, determined what kind of job would get him paid sufficiently to pay for his responsibilities at home, as well as allowing him to save for his eventual move into his own place, which happened by the time he was 19. He's been on his own for over a year now, has a great savings plan established, and is moving forward in school.

I didn't do anything exceptional, except to teach him that he'd eventually have to be responsible for himself.

Tell your husband to quit enabling him. Tell your husband that, if he's so worried, he and sonny boy can get a flat together, that you're moving on with your life. Tell your son that you are doing him no favors by allowing him to shirk his adult responsibilities, and that if he cannot get those things accomplished before you move, he'll need to find himself a shelter to room at until he can get his head out of his ass.

Kathy - posted on 06/20/2014

4

0

2

Hi Shawnn Lively: Oh, believe me, he was and continually has been clearly told of his expectations and he has been reminded daily for the last year that because we were in search of a new home away from the city that moving was eminent. He has been on his own for short periods of time (about a year at a time). I don't know why he doesn't take our advice on finding jobs and insists on doing it his way, which apparently, doesn't work that well; and he gets reminded of that daily, also. It's just so wearing on a person's will and spirit to continually have to, well frankly, "blow sunshine up someone's rear end!" day after day. I told him that he was messing up my life plan and I made it known that his days were numbered, but my husband said he can't handle thinking of him "eating out of trash cans." I don't buy this bologna, but what are you gonna do? Tell the kid to hit the road and he's not welcome? Have you had to deal with this kind of thing? How old are your kids? I hope they are well and I'm glad that you, apparently, are a better mom than I am. Thanks for the advice. I'll keep trying, that's all a person can do.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 06/20/2014

13,207

21

2014

So let him know that you are leaving, that he has XX number of days to find a job and an apartment.

If he continues to try to live with you, tell him (while handing him paperwork) that it will ONLY be under contract for room/board/chores, and that if he cannot adhere to the contract he will be evicted.

He should have been given clear expectations at the outset (read this to mean 'around the time he graduated HS) of his new responsibilities. Since you did not do so, and have allowed him to remain in your home, you will literally have to evict him now.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms