needing advice

Whitley - posted on 07/15/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )




My childs father is a real piece. my daughter is 11 months old and he has come to pick her up once bc i made him. his mother has come every time. He doesnt even spend his weekend with her. he "visits". I have asked that he leave his mother out when it comes to making arrangements for her. Mind you i do not personally have anything against her it just bothers me that hes 28 and she babies him and takes on all of his responsibility. Long story short, this past weekend I told him that if he didnt come get her then she wasnt coming. He came at me telling me that i was keeping her from him if i didnt let his mom pick her up. today he tells me that if i dont let his mom pick her up then i will be responsible for all of his court costs and all of his attourney fees when he takes me to court. Hes always threatening me. Can he take me to court bc I said he needs to come pick her up? mind u he has missed many weekends with her and has only picked her up once.


Michelle - posted on 07/15/2013




You can't control who is around when he has his time with her. If he's wanting his Mother to pick her up then let her. You could be seen as trying to prevent his time with her if you put your foot down on this.
I understand that he is the one that should be spending time with his daughter but it's something that you can't control. If you haven't got any court order in place then it's best to be as amicable as possible before you get to court as it can go against you.


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Unfortunately, unless you have a court order already in place, he can take you to court for anything, including allowing the child's grandmother to pick her up. That said, you would not be responsible for his costs, only your own.

Honestly, if her grandmother loves her, why do you care that she's spending time with her as opposed to the dad? Yes, it sucks that he is skipping out on his responsibilities to her while you are owning up to your's, but you chose him as the father of your child, and you can't make him do anything he doesn't want to just because you are annoyed that his mom babies him. No good will come from you keeping her from him just because he lets her stay with his mom as opposed to with him, it will only put a strain on the relationship, which your child will pick up on, and it will only stress her out. He is obviously not ready to take care of her; wouldn't you rather her be with his mother, who wants to care for her and knows how to do it properly, than with him, who may or may not be able to care for her properly?

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