Negative mom = negative child how to change it

Elisa - posted on 04/05/2016 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Hi, to start I would like to share my story briefly. I grew up only with my mom, never had a father figure and thought I did not need it. Now that I am a mom of two beautiful loving teenagers I see how valuable is of them having a father in their lives. I know that everyone does not think the same way as I do and I also know that it is not the only reason why I have the temper/character that I do. The thing is that now that my girls are teenagers I am realizing that I ask and expect too much from others. How can I change this? I am hurting the ones that I love and loosing their love. My girls are good. Good students and with good hearts, but my oldest one has my same character and it hurts me to think that she will be like me. I do not like what I have become I was not like this before I was a happy person loved everyone and cared for every one. I have come to the conclusion that I have a low self esteem that maybe of wanting a father as a child and not being able to tell my mother. I remember I used to pray to God so my parents could get back together but that did not happen. I just do not want to hurt my girls or my husband who love me so much. I know it is my problem but don't seem to find the way to fix it. I apologize a head of time for what I wrote but maybe writing it I might find an answer. :(

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Dove - posted on 04/06/2016

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Seeking counseling is probably the best thing you can do for yourself... and your children. Talk to them and let them know that you do not like some of the things you have said and done and you are going to seek help to try and change.

Sarah - posted on 04/05/2016

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What is ti about yourself that you want to change? Are you critical, demanding, judgemental? What caused you to come to this realization?

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Elisa - posted on 04/06/2016

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Good morning Sarah, yes I have been critical, demanding and judgmental and I never realized it until now. There are moments that I see in my girls myself and I can not believe it how wrong I have been. My intentions were never for them to be like me c,d & j. I just wanted to raise them well. They are good girls they are respectful to others and focus on what they need to do, they are teenager and everything it comes with it. I just do not want them to be like me. Yes, I need to change there are times that I feel I push away people that care for me and my girls have seen that. I am just concerned for them and any harm I may cause due to my unintentional behavior. I know kids learn from their parents and they grew up with me and seeing how I am. I just do not want them to think that my erroneous behavior is normal and them to apply it in their lives. thank you Sarah.

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