Neglecting dad.... please help

Samantha - posted on 02/05/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )

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My child is extremly sick. Her father acts like he just doesn't care. I have bent over backwards for this man to help foster a relationship. Well, it is obvious with our daughter in and out of surgeries, ICU etc that he doesn't care to be around. So the question is, what should I say/do to help ease my child's suffering when it comes to her "daddy"? She is much to sick to be burdened with the truth, but I can't bring myself to lie. She is 16, so she understands a lot, but she also hangs on daddys every word. How can I reassure her with out causing more stress on her already fragile body when she rapid-fires questions about him. I need to b prepared. Ty

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Gwen - posted on 02/06/2012

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She is old enough to understand what's going on. She is 16, sick and in the hospital. Her dad is not there. Lying would be pointless, because she is a young woman, not a child. IF she asks, just tell her the truth..."Honey, I've been in touch with your dad on several occasions to update him on how you are doing. For whatever reason, he is unable to be here. That is something you will need to discuss with him when you are feeling up to it. I'm sorry I don't know more about your dad, but one thing I DO know is that I am here for you no matter what."

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Samantha - posted on 02/05/2012

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He lives in Florida, we live in Texas ( he moved away). I have asked him why he is not calling ,attempting to be there in some form and all I get is a bunch of incoherent blather and a real quick excuse to get off the phone. that's why I turned here.

Jane - posted on 02/05/2012

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It could be that he doesn't care to be around, or it could be that seeing her suffer is so painful to him that he has to avoid her to stay sane. I suggest that you find a good time to sit down with him and find out why he seems not to care, and based on what he says, develop an explanation for your daughter that will allow her to know she is loved.

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