MOST HELPFUL POSTS
Christi - posted on 06/09/2011
My two are 17 months apart. A wise person gave me this bit of advice and I had the most amazing experience. She said to always tend to the older child first. If both want something at the same time(and baby is crying) get what the older one needs first. Baby doesn't know any better but the older one is watching you go for the baby first and it creates jealousy. Also, advise guests to pay attention to the older child first when they come visit and then redirect to the baby. Mine are now 2 and almost 4 and are the best of friends.
Tiffany - posted on 06/06/2011
My son was 20 months old when my daughter was born. He started acting up so i let him take care of her completly. He would fasten the tabs on her diaper, throw away dirty ones feed her, help with her baths and so on. It made him feel like i was playing with him him and i got to bond as well as him and her and now at 3 and 1 1/2 they cant be seperated. Good Luck, just make him feel as though he is doin all the work and praise him. It worked for me!
Alison - posted on 06/09/2011
Has no one prepared you for this? You cannot have a second child and expect things to go smoothly. You should expect your oldest to react. Give him as much love and attention as you possibly can - even when it means carrying or cuddling with both children at once.
Someone compared the arrival of a second child to a husband bringing home a second wife. It is obviously not exactly the same, but it helps to put things into perspective. He just wants to be certain that he hasn't lost his place. And he needs to figure out his new role as big brother.
Try to rid your mind completely of the idea that he is a "lil devil". This will only make things worse.
The good news is... this too shall pass!
Ivy - posted on 06/09/2011
We just went through this as well, my son is now 3 and daughter 8 months, oh boy did he losse it with the birth of his sister! All the literature I read said it takes roughly 8-10 weeks to adjust to the sibling, it was about 6 months for us. Someone asked me how would I feel if my husband brought home a new wife...would it take longer than 8 weeks to adjust to that, heck yes! Good luck, it get's better:)
JuLeah - posted on 06/06/2011
Well his world has turned up side down. What would you do if the the person you love most in the world, now loved another? If the person you counted on to feed you, was now feeding another? If the person you depended on for attention now gave so much to someone new? ....
If he acts up, what happens? Well, he gets your attention which is all he wants.
He doesn't know how tired you are. He doesn't understand this little person will one day be a playmate.
His world is falling apart and he is frightened.
Give attention to just him when you can ... big boys get attention when babies are sleeping.
Big brothers help care for babies too, they fetch diapers, they fetch washcloths, they shake rattles, they sing to the baby, they help Mommy put the baby down for a nap, even feed the baby (if baby takes a bottle)
Show him the photo books from when he was a new born and let him see he got all this same attention.
Have relaitives come and pay special attention to him, take him the the park or to lunch.
Get books from the library about big brothers and the important role they play .... help him develop pride in being a good big brother .... they will be the best of friends one day :)
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