New Baby to arrive into blended Family 8/13

Stephanie - posted on 03/18/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )

3

0

0

The deal is already sealed and we have a new baby set to arrive in early August 2013. I have no other children of my own, but have a step-daughter who is 12 soon to be 13 in September. My husband and I both agreed that we would like a baby boy. For him, it's the obvious father-son relationship he is wanting and for me, well to be honest, I just think a boy would be easier LOL. We went to our 20wk OB appt to find out the sex of our baby only to find out that baby refused to uncross it's legs. :o/ And when baby was in a good position to determine gender, the umbilical cord was directly between it's legs. Bummmer :o/ This event brought up a conversation between me and my husband. He mentioned that if the baby turned out to be a girl that he worried that his 12yr old daughter would be unhappy and even jealous to know that she wouldn't be daddy's only daughter now. She is extremely excited about the baby in general and we took her to the ultrasound appt with us. Once we realized we wouldn't be finding out the gender that day she was a little bummed. She mentioned that she really wants a baby brother. My husband is worried that she'll be jealous because when his daughter was little he wasn't the best father, as she was unplanned. Him and his previous girlfriend were not together at the time they found out she was pregnant. He has changed 100% for the better and has lived his life reflecting this for the last 5 years or so. He is worried that now, if the baby is a girl, when his daughter sees him with the baby and sees that he is so much better with her than he was with his daughter, she will become jealous. My fear now is that because of his thinking, if the baby does turn out to be a girl, he'll be guarded and tense because of what his daughter may or may not be feeling/thinking. Any ideas on how to address this before baby arrives would be VERY VERY helpful.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

~♥Little Miss - posted on 03/18/2013

21,273

9

3058

Well TBH, if she is gonna be jealous of a new baby, it will not matter its gender. My advice would be to make her as involved in this pregnancy as you can (which it sounds like you are) and have her be part of the planning and all. Heck, even bring her to the store and have her pick out an outfit for a boy and a girl. Just keep the tags so you can return them. Get her excited about a baby over all, and stop focusing on the sex. You can do this, you just have to all work as a team. ANd at her age, she will be able to do so much so keep her actively involved.

2 Comments

View replies by

Stephanie - posted on 03/18/2013

3

0

0

Little Miss,
Thanks so much for the feed back. And you are right, my first thought on my husband's thinking was that if she's going to be jealous gender won't matter. LOL Both my husband and I planned on having her come along when we registered as well. Fortunately, we have another ultrasound scheduled for this coming Thursday to see if baby will cooperate. :o) But I agree keeping her as involved as we can may help avoid her feeling left out or jealous of the new baby. Thanks again!!

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms