Darren - posted on 03/16/2016 ( 12 moms have responded )
My son is 18 months old. I have been separated from a common law relationship with my son's father for just over a year. He spends a lot of time with our son and sees him every day and most nights carries him up to bed. So our son knows who his daddy is. Dad loves our son so much and our son loves his daddy.
I started to see someone new about 7 weeks ago. I feel he is the man I will stay with and I've started to introduce him to our son. We've spent time taking him to the zoo and other daily outings. He has also spent many evenings in the house and has dinner with us frequently. I am ready to have him spend the night in my bed with me. My son sleeps in his crib in my room and often wakes up in the middle of the night and comes to sleep with me in my bed.
Two questions. Would this be damaging to my son to see another man who is not his father in the same bed with us through the night?
His father also thinks I shouldn't have the new man spending "family" time with our son. Taking him to the zoo and other day trips etc. He feels it's too soon for our son to see another man that close to mom. I disagree and see nothing wrong with it because I feel even though it's only been 7 weeks, I will stay with him.
My son's father is basing some of his concerns due to my past. I have another son who is now 18, but was 12 years old when the father of my other son first met him. At that time, he was the 6th man that was brought into my first borns life. So 5 other men in and out of my first born's life by the time he was 12. I don't believe I will repeat the same behaviours but my son's father is very concerned with my new boyfriend being part of our 18 month old son's life. He is also feeling very hurt like he's being replace, or our son will be confused as to his father figure. I don't see it as a problem.
Am I wrong? Should I keep a new man at a distance for a much longer time? If so, how long? Should my new man be in the same bed with me with my son in his crib in the same room and sometimes in the same bed though the night? Will this have a negative impact on our son?
Honesty please. Thank you