New here, need advice or support.

[deleted account] ( 1 mom has responded )

Hello, my name is Sam. My story is a little complicated but it started back on January 1st, 2008. I was 12 weeks and 4 days pregnant and I lost my baby. After this things went a little down hill for me, I found out that I have Endometriosis and my doctor told me that even with treatment it would be difficult to say if I would be able to physically carry a child to term due to this and the fact that (since birth) my male hormones have been slightly higher then the average female.
In 2010, I decided that I wanted to get past my pitying myself so I became a legal guardian to my 16 year old brother who I had raised since his mother walked out on us when he was 6, he had always called me mom anyways, and I convinced myself that I would be a great mother to him unlike his biological.
Just this Autumn is when things really changed for me though, my boy got his girlfriend pregnant, she is almost 18, and they choose to keep the baby, I was upset since they are young, but I was also thrilled since they told me they want me to be the 'granny' from his side of the family and they don't want his biological involved with the baby due to her mental health concerns.
All was going great, me and his girlfriend grew close, as soon as we found out it is going to be a boy we thought of names together with my boy and I have already given him the nickname Jujub, but then things took a turn for the worse, my boy's biological started to talk to him and she convinced him that the baby wasn't his even though his girlfriend had never had intercourse with anyone else. She convinced him to leave her and move to a different province where she lives. I told him that I am supporting her still since it is my grandchild and he said if I do he won't talk to me ever again.
Am I in the wrong if I support her and tell him that he had made a mistake leaving her the way he did? I know how hard it is to lose someone you care about, and I know it might be selfish of me, but I really want to be involved with what may be my only chance at having a grandchild, she already has plans to go to family court to get a DNA test done to prove to him he is the father, but he has said even if he is he won't get back with her so she is mostly doing it so that he can't get away with being a deadbeat, I know that he is acting this way because of lies that his biological put in his head but he won't listen to me now that he is living with her and it is causing me a lot of anxiety, I can't abandon my grandchild and his mother who has had to deal with being a single mother, but it pains me that my boy is hating me because of it.


Michelle - posted on 03/10/2013




As much as it hurts you need to step back and let him make his own mistakes regarding his Mother. You are his sister and I think for now that you need to let him go.

I would continue to help out his girlfriend though. Hopefully he will come around and see what his mother has said and done to him and realize his mistake soon. You can't control other people but you can control how YOUR life turns out.

1 Comment

View replies by

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms