New Mom- Needs MAJOR Advice

Melody - posted on 08/26/2016 ( 2 moms have responded )




Hi everybody. I am expecting my first baby, with my boyfriend whom already has a 6 year old son. My question right now is not concerning my baby, it's more-so about my place as far as disciplining goes with the 6 year old, who is not biologically mine, but who I think of as my own.
Family situation is tough. My boyfriend and I are both young parents, I am 20, he is 22. Mistakes happen I guess when you are 14. Long story short, discipline with his 6 year old falls VERY short between both my boyfriend and his mother. I feel wrong for wanting to step in, but we are about to have a child together who will be around her brother more often than not.

I have a few concerns with him. He's very fresh with us to start. He's selfish when it comes to toys. He seems to be OK at school and when over a friends house, but with certain kids he is very mean. He also has an iPad (I personally do NOT agree with this) because it is not monitored when he is home with his mom. He just talks to it and can search anything in the world... He knows where a baby comes out of on a woman's body, for example. Second, along with this iPad, he has a snapchat. He is 6. He has a snapchat. Today I got home and checked his snapchat in which he posted multiple pictures to his "story" that show his face with the words "Kill You" written on them. I feel as though snapchat is something he should not have whatsoever, but I am not his mother. I don't know how to approach the situation. He's also had previous issues with stating that he hears voices telling him to kill his grandfather. I take this very seriously, but I don't believe his father nor his mother do. I'm at a standstill as how to handle this situation. Any advice from step moms would be greatly appreciated because Lord knows I need it.
Thank you!!!


View replies by

Sarah - posted on 08/26/2016




Good heavens, you have got to get your boyfriend to man up and parent. No matter what the rules may be a bio-mom's house, they don't have to apply at your home. You and dad need to be 100 percent on the same page and perfectly consistent. So when your future stepson comes to visit, he know he will surrender the electronics, speak to you politely and develop a relationship of mutual respect. If you can't reach an agreement, then I would not consider marrying this man. Who wants a father with no backbone? Your job is to protect your own child, and let your BF parent his. If he refuses to step up? Rethink your relationship No child needs an iPad, let alone a 6 yo, and certainly no social media. I dont' even let my teens use SM unsupervised.

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