New Mom With Panic Disorder

NIKI - posted on 11/18/2015 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I'm a new mom. I'm 36 and I've been battling anxiety and panic since I was 15. I've been medicated for most of my life. After my delivery I stopped my meds thinking my hormones and chemical imbalance "cured" me. Boy was I wrong. I've hit rock bottom and I'm struggling. My son is only 3 months old and obviously very dependent on me. But when I'm having an anxiety attack, I can't seem to put his needs first. The fact that he needs me makes it worse, cause I'm unreliable. I can't think straight. I can barely breath. I don't want to think that having a baby was a mistake. But I was def being selfish in the decision making. I love him more than life itself. Any moms out there in the same boat? Any suggestions? I've done meds, therapy, yoga, Zumba, even hypnosis. Please help.
Sincerely,
Niki

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MaryAnn - posted on 11/18/2015

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I dont remember life before my anxiety disorder. I was medicated at 15. I stopped taking meds about four years ago, and was given a medication three years ago to take only when having an attack. My son was born two months ago, and last week i had myself put back on medication.
DONT feel guilty about it. Talk to your doctor and ask for what you think you need. Talk to your support system and ask for that help you need... People with anxiety disorders raise happy, healthy kids all the time... But they need to take care of themselves to do it.

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NIKI - posted on 11/18/2015

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Thank you for your reply. It helps just knowing your not alone. I feel guilty that I'm neglecting my son. I don't want to think I'm a terrible mom, but it's like I can't help it. I feel selfish and stupid to think I was better. I only recently started back on the meds so I know it's gonna take time to build up in my system. In the mean time I just cry along side my son. I didn't mean for it to be like this. Please tell me I'm not a bad person/mom.

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