new years resolution to potty train my son

Keshia - posted on 12/16/2010 ( 33 moms have responded )

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my son is 16 months will be just about 17 months around new years so I want to get him started potty training and want him to be fully potty trained by the time the new baby gets here which is the end of may ive been looking at undies to buy him and the smallest size I can find is 2T hes really little for his age so hes only in a 3 diaper is there a website that sells smaller ones I could order from or should I just plan on pinning them?

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[deleted account]

My son's three and I guess I'm doing what Theresa said about "child lead" potty training. I'm totally going at his pace. Would I love to stop spending money on diapers? You betcha. Would it be all around more convenient if he used the potty? Uh huh. But the way I see it, it's like everything else with babies...if you force them to do something that they aren't ready for, in the end you could end up doing more damage than good. Plus, there's the whole regression thing with the new baby coming. Any book or doctor worth their salt will tell you that you shouldn't introduce any major new things to your current child around the same time as you're bringing home a new baby. Here, I give this link out a lot. It's a potty training readiness check list. Now, keep in mind that not every single thing on the list has to be checked off in order for it to mean your child is ready to potty train....but having a majority of the items checked off is best.
http://www.babycenter.com/0_potty-traini...

[deleted account]

You should probably plan on waiting instead. Even if you CAN get him to potty train at such a young age.... the chance of regressing w/ the new baby is high.

I also believe in 'child led potty training' though. I 'potty trained' my girls. It took me a year to get them day trained and another 2 years after that before they were sleeping through the night dry on MOST nights.

My nephew was started potty training over a year ago and at 3.5 now still wets his pants on average of once a day.

These experiences led me to believe that it is good to encourage, but best to let the child take the lead since it IS their bodily functions we are talking about. I can't convince my son to stop wearing his diapers yet, but I have not 'potty trained' him at all and at 2 years 8 months.... he is clean and dry 99% of the time day AND night.

Jodi - posted on 12/18/2010

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Well, it WAS a rather unnecessary and bitchy comment, wasn't it? No-one feels threatened by it. People were just giving you some advice on your situation. If you didn't like it, you could ignore it rather than insult everyone.



If your nieces and nephews were all potty trained by 2, why don't you just ask THEIR mothers where to get the underwear?

Sherri - posted on 12/17/2010

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They run small 2T I would bet anything will fit especially after washed. My son only wears a size 5 pant and can wear up to a size 8 undies with no problem.

Jodi - posted on 12/17/2010

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Just for the record, neither of my kids were fully trained until they were about 3. With my son, I tried to push the issue, and he honestly wasn't interested, with my daughter, I decided just to let her take the lead. And what do you know, they both fully trained at the same age. Honestly, if they are ready, they are ready, if not, they won't.



Certainly, if you want, give it a try, but it can become very frustrating for both mum and bub if they aren't ready. Just don't place your expectations too high and be prepared to have several goes at it, because even though it is possible, 17 months is still very young.

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Katherine - posted on 12/18/2010

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I'm going to lock this thread, as obviously the OP is not looking for advice.

Keshia - posted on 12/18/2010

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really? I know where to buy underwear...like I said my son is small for his age hes allergic to milk so is a little behind on his weight so I was asking if theres anywhere to buy smaller sizes so obviously if I knew I would just go and get them if you didnt know maybe you shouldnt have posted anything and left your comments to yourself so thanks and have a great night :) Ill figure it out some how oh btw I though you would enjoy this article http://www.babycenter.com/6_your-17-mont...

its designed for children as young as 15 months to start potty training

Keshia - posted on 12/18/2010

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wow for the ones who felt it was a threatening post saying your lazy have alot to say about me never potty training a child? hm I have a 11 nieces and nephews and have potty trained atleast 3 of them also baby sitting other children I have potty trained and they were ALL potty trained by 2 so when I asked where I could get unnder wear that would fit him had nothing to do with if you think MY son is ready or not

[deleted account]

My daughter was in a size 4 diaper at age 2 and the size 2T-3T panties fit her. Well, they don't fall down anyway! You'll probably be okay. Just try them out...if they don't work then buy the smaller ones online. You can always put the bigger ones away for later when he grows into them.

Jodi - posted on 12/17/2010

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Yeah, and I'm going to be told I'm lazy by someone who doesn't have any toilet trained children yet. Uh-huh, that makes sense to me......

[deleted account]

If that's the Tide you mean Katherine, they suck. It's a gimmick like those balls they sell that you pour the fabric softener into....you know?

[deleted account]

You mean the tide balls you put in the wash like the guy in the commercial with his kids trying to clean the dirty table cloth?

Kate CP - posted on 12/17/2010

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My daughter never did the poo painting thing...then again she hates getting dirty AT ALL. She pooped in the tub once and the look of absolute horror was priceless. I have a feeling this next one will make up for the lack of messes, however. :/

[deleted account]

I have finger poop painting pictures.....there were a few times where as a mother, I had to decide, "get the wipes? or get the camera?" The camera usually won. And now I have ammo for when he's older and "that girl" wants to kiss him. All I have to do is show her the one of him drawing on his face with a poo finger and ask her "Still wanna kiss him?" ROFL That poor kid.....all of us.....our kids here...they have noooo idea what they are in for.

[deleted account]

Thanks Katherine lol I just sat here for an hour re-re-re-typing my response to the lazy post lol

[deleted account]

LADIES! LADIES! LADIES! Don't you all know???? You have to FORCE your children to do things, or else they won't get done. You have to FORCE them to learn how to walk when the BOOKS say they should! By one year, they must be speaking 37 words in 4 different languages!!! Hell, don't all of YOUR three year olds load and unload your dish washers like mine does (in my dreams)??? You MUST adhere to the rules set forth by....who the hell set those rules anyhow????



EFFF THAT. First of all, Keshia, those of us who choose to use a more child led, natural approach to potty training (and a whole host of other child related issues), are the farthest thing from lazy. I'm sure that there are some women out there who fit your desctiption of "lazy", but I would venture to say that you will not find many of those women here so far; the majority of us would be thrilled beyond belief if our kids were all perfectly potty trained by the age when we got tired of changing diapers. A few things I want to address about your posts. For one thing, a 3 year old doesn't "need" to be in pre-school. Pre-school is typically at FOUR years old. Before that, in my area of NY it's called daycare or "Playschool" (paid for like daycare, 2-3 hours a day). In those settings, a child being in diapers is totally acceptable. Have you actually called the school board to find out where, when, how old, etc your son needs to be and what the requirements are? It's different from state to state, sometimes from county to county. Before you judge anyone, PRE-SCHOOL starts at age FOUR in most states. Pre-school is a the year before kindergarten. Kindergarten starts at age 5. The preschool in my area, where my son will be attending next year when he is FOUR, even they don't require potty training as a pre-requisite to start school. Now, when my son starts Kindergarten? Yes, at age 5 they require him to be potty trained and I certainly hope and plan it will be done by then. But there is no way in hell I'm gonna force him. I've used the "child led" approach in other areas of his up-bringing so far and it's worked out well. I didn't force him to eat veggies, I offered a wide variety to him and let him pick what he likes. He's a human being and has the right to like or dislike some things. I give him what he likes and don't force what he doesn't like. As long as he gets his nutritional needs met, isn't that what's important?



Honestly, the more I think about it, it sounds to me like you just want your oldest to be out of diapers before the new one comes so that it's easier for you. Honestly? I get that. In a perfect world, no one would ever WANT to have to have two kids under 2 in diapers. But you know what? It happens to be the "norm". And I promise you that if you force your oldest to do something as monumental as potty train before he is ready, you will be setting him up for failure (even though unintentionally, I'm sure) and you will both be in for a helluva mess. Hope you have lots of sheets for his bed and a TON of toddler underwear...oh wait...he's not even big enough for them yet.....

Katherine - posted on 12/17/2010

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Thanks for the link, Joy. My daughter is 21mo and I'm letting her decide, but based on the checklist: She's ready.







Except for today's fingerpainting poop incident.....

Katherine - posted on 12/17/2010

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In case any of you are wondering....the lazy post has been deemed as a personal attack and deleted.

Katherine

Admin

WtCoM

Krista - posted on 12/17/2010

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One thing that you need to keep in mind is that you can't force biology. You mentioned teaching a child to walk -- well, you can't teach a child to walk until his legs have developed to the point where they are strong enough to hold his weight. And you cannot teach a child to go to the potty until he is physically able to hold his bladder to a certain degree.



Waiting until your child is at least MOSTLY ready before potty training isn't "lazy". It's accepting the fact that babies and toddlers are still developing, biologically, and that we cannot force them to do something that their little bodies just AREN'T ready to do, even if it doesn't fit in with our tidy little plans.



Like I said, there's a reason they don't sell underwear smaller than size 2T.



Now, if your son DOES happen to show signs of readiness, then that's fantastic, and I wish you luck. However, I am very concerned that you're so determined to have him out of diapers by the time the new baby comes that you may not be as tolerant as you should be when he inevitably regresses.

Kate CP - posted on 12/17/2010

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Lazy? Thanks for that.

I started potty training my daughter when she was about 18 months old. She had showed signs she was interested in the potty and was going longer and longer in between diapers. She wasn't fully potty trained until nearly 3. It has N O T H I N G to do with laziness or smarts. It's about whether or not the child is ready physically and emotionally to potty train. Obviously you've never attempted to potty train a toddler before. It's not easy and it takes a long time. AND boys tend to take longer to potty train, too.

But, yea, just call all of us lazy who have been through it before. That's helpful.

[deleted account]

I should add.... by all means, if you think he's ready give it a try. He may be ready and it may work great. I just think by expecting it and setting a 'must be done by' date... you could be setting yourself up for a great disappointment. Good luck!

[deleted account]

Lazy? No, it's just smart to wait until they are ready. Which makes more sense.... spend a year at it and go through countless pairs of underwear per day... or let THEM do it and go virtually accident free? Either way, it's your choice, but after WORKING on potty training twins.... I chose to go the other route. :)



And 'smarts' has nothing to do w/ it. My girls started reading at 3.5, but didn't start being dry through the night til 4.5..... ;)

Mary - posted on 12/17/2010

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Well, I do think 17 months may be a bit early. He could be the next Einstein, but that doesn't mean he is physically capable of this yet, especially if he is small for his age.

I started with my daughter at what many people consider to be early. She is 25 months today, and we've been diaper-free (daytime only) for a little over a week now, with only one accident. Funny thing is, I was in NO rush to do this, since having a 2 y/o using the bathroom, particularly when we are out, is MUCH more work than diapers, and can be a huge pain in the ass. However, she was really interested, and was showing many of the signs of readiness.

I've read some of the checklists similar to the one Joy posted, and I really do recommend you do so as well, and see how your son falls in line with them. It is the rare 17month male that will meet many of those criteria. Obviously, they aren't all essential (my 2 y/o cannot pull down her own pants yet, although she can kind of manage the underwear on her own). For me, one of the big ones was that she was staying dry consistently through her naps. It said to me that she had developed a fair amount of bladder control. As well, she seemed to understand the whole concept from following me into the bathroom every freakin time I go (and was pulling the toilet paper off for me, saying "mommy wipe now?" !!).

There is no magic moment of readiness, but I do know this...he won't do it unless he's both ready AND physically capable, no matter how determined you are.

[deleted account]

Force your kid to potty train and yeah, maybe you'll get lucky and not have an issue. But like Kate said, if they aren't ready....and they DO have to be ready.....welcome to the nightmare.

Kate CP - posted on 12/16/2010

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You can try but I wouldn't get my hopes up. If he's ready he'll potty train. If not...it'll just be a nightmare for both of you. :/

Sabra - posted on 12/16/2010

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Sorry I cant help with your question I don't know where you would get little underwear for your son.

I do however want to encourage you to try and potty train your son I believe that people are waiting way to late to potty train there kids because they don't dont want to push their children. I mean we push them to eat there vegtables and to share and take baths why wouldn't we push them to potty train. Yeah it might be difficult but anything worth doing is.
Best of luck to you.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 12/16/2010

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It may be your new years resolution, but not at the top of his "to do" list! Good luck!

Amber - posted on 12/16/2010

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I'm with Teresa and Krista, it's very unlikely that your child is ready to potty train at 17 months old. My son wasn't fully potty trained until he was 3.
You can't push a child into something that they aren't functionally ready for just because you're having a new baby.
I know that it might be difficult to have 2 children in diapers, but trying to force potty training will make it a lot harder in the long run.

Krista - posted on 12/16/2010

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Yeah, setting a deadline like that will put a LOT of pressure on your little guy, which is very likely to backfire.

There's a good reason why underwear comes no smaller than a 2T. It's because most kids under age 2 just are not ready.

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