Newly single mom

Danielle - posted on 11/29/2015 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I recently ended my toxic relationship with my fiancé and we have a 4 month old daughter together. I feel extremely depressed and scared for my future. I never saw my life being like this. I know things will get easier as time goes on but right now I am looking for some advice or words of wisdom to help me get through this tough time ?!??

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Denise - posted on 11/29/2015

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I am so impressed with your bravery. It took a lot of courage to do what you did. I'm so sorry you are going through so much. I haven't been through what you're going through and I'm a lot older (my youngest is 17), but I do understand grief, having recently lost my mom. My advice is to allow yourself to grieve the loss of the relationship, in spite of its toxicity, and what was or could have been. Allow yourself to feel your feelings before beginning to plan for the future for you and your daughter. Similar to what Loves2ReadYA (by the way, I do, too. I also write YA books), I hope you have a support system of family and friends. I would encourage you to ask for what you need, whether it be company, a place to stay for awhile, food--whatever you need. I imagine you must feel very fragile right now and there is no shame in asking for help! Sending empowering thoughts your way...

Loves2readYA - posted on 11/29/2015

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I'm so sorry you've gone through this, but I commend you for summoning the strength to take such a step. That must've been tough. Sometimes we feel safer in a toxic relationship than to venture out on our own.

I've gone through a major life change in this past year, and let me tell you, it has been a journey of personal growth. I don't know what your faith life is like, but for me, turning to God for strength and courage was THE thing that has helped me through this time. Start with a prayer...that's all it takes...and consider connecting with a local church.

My strongest piece of advice for you would be to not date for a while. You have the strength and grace to live on your own and create a new life for you and your daughter. If you have family or close friends in your life, call on them for help. Sometimes people don't know they're needed and don't want to intrude unless they're asked.

Praying for you and your daughter...

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