Newly single mom of two under two!

Dani - posted on 09/08/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )




Our marriage has been on and off for a ear now, as he left right when I got pregnant with our second, but came back right before he was born. We had been living together and in counseling for about six months now, but I just found out he's been actually having an affair with one of his old youth group students (he used to be a pastor), for more than a year. He's lied multiple times, even to the point of living with her while we were separated and I was pregnant and caring for an eight month old. Needless to say, it's been one heck of a year.

The next step is a legal separation, and divorce will come soon after that. I'm obviously devastated, but at this point my concern is more for the practicality of it all and for my beautiful boys.

How do single moms with two babies (basically) survive? Even if I can find a job making $45-50k, almost all of that would go to daycare and rent, with barely anything left for food, diapers, and other bills. I'm just so angry and sad. I've been a Christian my whole life and married a pastor, and just never anticipated this reality.

Any advice? I have no idea how to make it...

And I am in counseling, which helps my emotional side for sure.


Rebekah - posted on 09/08/2013




What a difficult experience... I'm sorry for your pain, but I admire your ability/efforts to move forward and take care of yourself and your boys.

Will he be giving child support payments? Is he available to care for the children while you are at work? Do you have any family around you that might be able to help with some of the childcare or housing? Are you still connected to your church community, where you might connect with other people/options for childcare? Depending on what you earn, there might also be some government assistance available for the basics. Food banks might be an option, too, if you need some food staples (possibly diapers?) to help if you are really running short. Streamline expenses to the necessities. Network with other moms to see if you can share hand-me-downs, both clothes and toys.

And keep up with the counseling and nurturing your all means take care of yourself and find a place to release your anger and sadness. You have work ahead of you, but you will get through this. God bless you and your boys.

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