nightmares or night terrors?

Kristina - posted on 06/03/2014 ( 10 moms have responded )

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My 21 month old son has recently started waking up abruptly after 30 mins screaming during nap time at daycare for the past week and every other night he wakes up suddenly screaming and crying like something is after him. During this time he is screaming momma with his arms reached out and stomping his feet historically while standing up in his playpen... I sometimes pick him up and put him in bed with me and he calms down and is fast asleep. Also he has a screaming tantrum at times when laying him down for the night not every night. He has always been a great sleeper. I'm puzzled

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Julie - posted on 06/08/2014

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One more thing... sorry. Lavender is ALWAYS the calmest smell. I massage his finger tips and toes with a little pressure and also a warm bath in the evening with lavender soap and then the little soft massage with sweet music or whatever. You set the stage. He will feed off you, so bring the night time down quietly with tender touches and smells. sounds funny, but it still knocks out my 12 year old son. lol

Julie - posted on 06/08/2014

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Yeah, that's probably mostly his age and being seperated from your mother can be so traumatic on a child. You gave birth to him, he feeds on his mama. Yeah, I would say, No nightmares, or terrors, just seperation anxiety. He doesn't want to lose you again. My son did the same thing. He didn't want me to get up to go to the kitchen because he was afraid I would go away. He's very secure now that I've proved to him for a Long time that I will not Ever leave him and I often pray with him in his room sweet prayers and make sure his tv is on a channel that is funny and laughing at a low level so that's what he hears before he sleeps.
Good Luck MaMa, You got it.

Julie - posted on 06/08/2014

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That's great. I'M 40, so I should know. They just love your energy when you hold them and the way you speak and if you have that smell of something sweet, and put it on his pillow or blanket, he will feel that you are closer.
But, forget what other people say that's negative. He's your child and You are the one who set's his goal for life, so do it in your own sweet way. He will adore you forever.

Kristina - posted on 06/07/2014

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Yea now I'm thinking its not night terrors.. he screams for a hour or better before going to sleep and when I finally pick him up and lay him in my bed he suddenly stops the fuss and relaxes into a deep sleep. He also is teething but I don't think that would cause all these fits during nap time and bedtime.. I tried laying him down with me for a nap today and he would not go to sleep. He didn't fuss just wouldn't go to sleep and wanted to play. Maybe I will get some rest soon lol. Thanks for all your advice.. just wish I knew what to do to soothe him into a peaceful sleep. Brakes my heart for him to be so upset and I don't know the cause. Thanks again sweetie:-)

Julie - posted on 06/06/2014

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I know 1st hand from a professional what exactly Night Terrors are and how to take care of them.... Of course, a Pill. I've had them for years. I would scream at night all the time and couldn't get out of the dream but they were very livid and I would and still do sometimes go back into the same dream many many times, and it's my BIGGEST fear in the world.
Losing my son. That is his Biggest Fear too. We are connected in a spiritual way or something but we fear being away from each other, so I would dream every night, over and over, that I was being taken away from him and I could hear him crying and I couldn't even say good bye to him. Horrifying. So, told the doctor about it, because my husband had started recording them and it was so sad to hear. But he gave me a pill called estazolam. I have never screamed again. I still dream about those things, but I don't terrify the house with my screaming. I hope you just listen to his heart. The system makes us feel like we can't Sleep with our kids especially if it's opposite sex, but, that is foolish. You give your child what he needs until he decides to make a change. You're a good Mama. Stay Strong

Julie - posted on 06/04/2014

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That's a HUGE deal to get over for a child to feel secure may take years. My mom put me in a orphanage when I was 9 to 10, and to this day, I'm 40, I still see the dark eyes of the children in fear, that were living there too, never knowing if they were going to see their mom again.
My mom did come back for me, and I had that constant terror that she would leave me again or something would happen, so You cling to something that's safe. You.
For whatever reason he had to be taken away, would rip a mothers heart out. So, if you are both ok with sleeping together, I say go with it. I put one of those long body pillows between us, so nothing happend on accident, or whatever. You and Him do whatever you need to do, to feel safe and secure together and just absorb each other's love. It will get better over time. Good luck.

Julie - posted on 06/03/2014

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One more thing.... Wear a scent.. lavender if you can, EVERY DAY. Then you can also put some lavender smelling candle or lavender spray on things that are close to him when he sleeps. lol. Just another thought

Kristina - posted on 06/03/2014

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Thanks so much. He sleeps in my room and his bed is right beside mine.. my kids were taken from me for 5 months in foster care and I got them back 2 months ago.. yay:-) but since they been back he adjusted fine and went to bed at night at 8 and slept all night. He recently started doing this and I'm puzzled because he has been fine with naps and bed time since he has returned home and also I keep my tv on nick Jr cartoon learning channel at all times. My sister suggested maybe it can be night terrors but I'm not sure. Thanks for your reply maybe this will fade soon:-)

Julie - posted on 06/03/2014

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Is there anything at all that is different in his or your life? something he would be used to? maybe a split up or divorce or something he may have seen or heard on tv? I always make my son listen to happy songs or happy shows at night, so the Stupid TV with all the scary movies and zombie sounds are not what he hears before he sleeps. If anything has occurred in his little life that may not be detected by you now, but, can try to think of Anything at all that would make him either Not Serene, or nervous, or negative vibe ( maybe at day care or somewhere else) could just leave him with Mommy seperation anxiety. My son had it bad for a long time. If I left the room, he would want me back immediately, BUT, he had gone through, my divorce, and having to do the visitation thing, and it made him sad and nervous. At first, we got back together just for our kids and he still did it for about a year, thinking it would happen again.
I being 40, have had Night Terrors for years about a childhood issue and also about being away from my son. Weird. But for me at my age, they have a PILL for everything and gave me a pill and I never screamed again. My advice is to just slowly, keeping a calm positive spirit, that he can feel with you, Let him Sleep with You unless You don't like it. He will either out grow it or slowly start putting a little bed next to yours but not in yours, and further and further as time goes.
That's just my opinion that I Understand through trying to keep all negative, drama, stress, yelling, bad sounds or pictures on tv, helped, and now... he sleeps in his room, knowing IF he needs me, I'm close if need be.
Hope that helps

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