nine year old daughter

Starr Alexis Ikie - posted on 10/08/2011 ( 2 moms have responded )




My 9 yr old daughter doesn't like my new guy friend,he is sweet,not abusive,at all. When he is around she doesn't speak,she rolls her eyes,and that's when he leaves. I don't stop him from leaving because my daughter comes first,I've asked her several times why she doesn't like him,she said she just don't like him,which she is like that with my ex,which was 3 yrs ago. How should I deal with her,she knows that she will always be here with me,and i give her all my attention,no matter if he's here,we all use to laugh and joke, but she likes to say things to him and when he jokes with her she gets upset. We have to see each other when she's at school,because he says he doesn't want to make her unhappy. Then its an issue with are relationship,about us not spending time. My child comes first at all times,so what do I do.


JuLeah - posted on 10/08/2011




He is wise. See him while she is at school. It sounds like he understands her feelings must be considered and she must come first in your life ... good guy

You don't say how long they have known one another, that's a factor

You don't say how resolved she is, comfortable she is, with your past relationships

These things take time and it is time well spent. Invest a few years now in the 'going slow' process and you may have the remainder of your life to enjoy that

Back off and don't push for a time

Maybe find a professional she can talk with - an expert with kids

Then maybe they can spend time together - maybe he can take her to a movie or out to dinner, when she is ready and feels okay about it

If he is going to be in your life long term she needs to develop a relationship with him seperate from you

Katherine - posted on 10/08/2011




Do you guys go and do things together? Maybe if all three of you went and did something fun it would help.
Ask her what she really dislikes about him. Maybe the joking gets to her. Maybe he needs to stop the joking for a while.


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