No authority for parents!

Kim - posted on 02/13/2012 ( 36 moms have responded )

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I'm sorry who is the one with the authority in any family: the parents.

I'm getting awfully sick and tired of parents not knowing what is right and wrong, what to let your child do and not to do.

To think that your child has a choice, you're wrong.

You have the decision to give your child the choice, and not of important things, like what toys they would like to play with next. Not give them the choice whether or not to eat because they "don't like it" You have to give a child what they need before what they want and sometimes parents just don't understand that when you say no to your child you cannot go back on it or you are a hypocrite and you are teaching your child that it's ok.

You do not let your child hit you, bite you, or hurt you on purpose.

You do not let your child choose when he/she wants to go to bed/sleep.

You do not let your 13yr old child post pics of themselves half naked all over websites. Dispicable and illegal.

You should always be checking what your children do on the internet and if you "can't be bothered" like a lot of parents - get parental lock on it! Simple!

You need to check you child's phone espcially teenagers as you do not know who they have on their "new smart phone" you just have to buy them, because they're not going to get lost in 3weeoks and have you buy them another one. They could be getting pictures for all you know. They could be getting chatted up on that bbm and "rate me" on bbm or what ever it is. No, I'm not old I'm 22 and no I do not own one of these phones.

You are the only ones who are going to keep your children safe. Do it properly. You may think they are good kids but the truth is they know this and may go behind your back or may get pressured into it.

Make sure you know your babysitters for years or have had recommendations on them- or even ask for a CRB check as all people who work with children have to have one to actually be alone with a child in a work place.

I know a lot of people just do this out of common sense because thats what it is common sense.

That "rate me" thing on myspace or blackberry messenger is disgusting and they shouldn't be able to do that it's just giving them a complex on how they look so they think they should be dressing up and showing what they should be keeping private, at least until the age of 17!

Get control of your children Britain! It's disgusting how many girls of 12-16 are loosing their virginity, when it's illegal! and how many of them are going out with guys older than 16! It's called peadophilia people! even if it is concented and the girl "doesn't care" If you are the parent of one of the lads going out with someone younger than 16 then stop them now before they ruin their lives with Statory rape. And parents of the girls need to stop them before they put someone in prison and get the title "SLAG".

Please parents of Britain sort yourselfs out and become parents.

Don't let the next generation grow up not doing a thing and living off the goverment or in prison.

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[deleted account]

OK, but you are on a mom's site just generally bashing parents.... what's the point in that?



I'm here telling you that a LOT of parents are nothing like what you describe....

[deleted account]

Wow, as a British parent I'm offended, most parents here are damn good parents, trying their hardest to get it right and in the most part succeeding.



Yes there are groups of "chav" parents but they are in no way the norm and most of the "chav" parents are doing their best to parent...what you are describing are negligent parents!



Most of what you say is quite true and I myself have regularly given similar advice, the way you went about sharing it though was completely wrong, most of us are intelligent women who don't need lecturing about how to raise our children, if we ask for help or advice that is because we aren't perfect and sometimes another opinion is needed. However, I disagree that our children don't have a choice, I do not own my children they can say no to me and get to choose from certain options I provide them, yes there are times when there isn't a choice but where I can I try to give them one. My home is not about a dictatorship, even little people have a voice!

Tara - posted on 02/14/2012

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WOW was this supposed to be a blog post or something? Cause it's so random here.

I only scanned because of the lack of paragraphing, my eyes were starting to bleed.

However I caught these phrases..

"..It's called peadophilia people! even if it is concented and the girl "doesn't care" ...

and

"Not give them the choice whether or not to eat because they "don't like it" ..



anyhow, ranting won't change anyone's parenting style, if you want to attract more attention to your "clean up britain's parenting scene" then maybe you should use more concise arguments, more statistics etc

Just sayin'

User - posted on 02/14/2012

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Kim, Most of the teenagers I know are hard-working and respectful young people. Yes there are "chavs" around, but I would hardly say Britain is full of them.



As for Jamie Bulger, yes that was tragic, but one of the reasons it was so shocking was that it is such a rare thing to happen. It is hardly a prime example of how most kids behave.

[deleted account]

Wanker isn't that bad a word...and although to wank means to masturbate, a wanker is the same as an idiot, a prick, a knob, an arsehole etc.



It is legal to have sex at 16 in the uk, unless you are in a position of power such as a teacher (their teacher).

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[deleted account]

"Jen, sex isn't a bad thing, but sex with a 16 year old is against the law. My cousin went to prison for it ( he was only 19, so not a dirty old man, just a kid having sex with a girl he fancied.)"



If 2 16 year olds are having sex, neither is going to jail though. That was my point.

[deleted account]

Yeah, I agree there are worse words than wanker. But some people find bad language in general very offensive, and wanker falls into that category for some. And I did get it a little wrong, 16 is the age of consent here in Aus. I assumed it meant at 16 and under it was illegal but it means under 16 so sorry for the confusion. :-)

I can understand that it's easy to get upset when a rant or vent seems to be aimed at you but I'm sure the OP didn't mean it that way.

Sally - posted on 03/21/2012

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Im sure your right sharon but it does get my back up when people make such sweeping comments. The way its worded feels like an attack on all parents. Im sure/hope that wasn't the op's inttention.

[deleted account]

I'm in Australia and having sex with a 16 year old is called "Carnal Knowledge", you can go to jail for it. To be more specific on the term "wanker", in our culture it is a derogatory term. To wank is to sit and pull your penis. So if you're called a wanker it means you just sit and pull your penis all day. I don't let my kids say it.

Sally, I think the OP was having a very bad day and just needed to vent. It wasn't her intention to upset everyone. Crikey, I have days like that when I'm down on the whole world but on the whole I think most people are pretty decent. You'll probably find the OP has "gotten over it" so to speak.

Sally - posted on 03/21/2012

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I live in Britain and yes there area few familes like it but most are decent people doing their best and bringing up well rounded kids. I find your rant about parents , Bristish otherwise very narrow minded and offensive.

ALSO sex is legal in the UK at 16.

Medic - posted on 03/20/2012

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I guess I just do not think it comes close to comparing to other curse words.



I also think that if you know certain aged kids are going to take over the park at a certain time then you should take your kids earlier and just not subject them to that. You cannot make people respect you or your children. You can only control what you do, and if that means changing up what you do so you can "control" what your children see or hear then that is on you.



It really does not matter if the other people are right, wrong or purple.

[deleted account]

Jen, sex isn't a bad thing, but sex with a 16 year old is against the law. My cousin went to prison for it ( he was only 19, so not a dirty old man, just a kid having sex with a girl he fancied.)

Medic - posted on 03/20/2012

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How is wanker a bad word?? Sorry I am not british and my 5 year old says it because we do not see it as bad. I know that was random but jw.

[deleted account]

You do realize that sex is not a bad thing right? 2 16 year olds having it off is not a case of child molestation.



Yes, you make some good points but please explain to me the big deal of having a hymen and why you're only focusing on girls and not boys?

Tabitha - posted on 03/20/2012

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I understand your rant even if others don't. I'm not offended by it because it doesn't describe me. I'm not sure about Britain since I've never been there but America has the same problem. That's why the teen pregnancy rate and teen std rate is so high. In our town, there are 7th & 8th graders having babies!! AND THEY'RE HAPPY ABOUT IT!?! I've been saying it for years, for a lot of people parenting is just an option not a responsibility. They would much rather be a friend than a parent. My stance is. I'm not here to be your friend, I'll be your friend when you're older...right now I'm your Mama!

Kim - posted on 03/20/2012

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Talking to a grandmother the other day, she's very concerned about her 15yr old granddaughter, she goes out apparently all night every weekend, in hotpants and see-through tops, drinks and goes out clubbing with her mates. "everyone else does it" she says to her grandmother. Her mum buys her the clothes! and gives her the money to buy drinks!

Kim - posted on 03/14/2012

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yeah wan*er. I don't like swearing in public even if its online, it's still rude.



I think this rant was caused be finding out about 15yr old girls sending pics of themselves over that : "Rate me" thing on blackberries or something. Just so they could get men to Rate them out of 10. I don't think they realize it's child porn, even if its themselves taking the pic of themselves in bras and pants and stuff. and the men/boys who have these on their phones can be locked away for having porn/child porn on their phones or laptops even.

Kim - posted on 03/13/2012

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couple of weeks ago my son, my friend and I were at the park, two other parents there with their children, then a group of secondary school kids came in, took over and used the W word so much my son repeated it. I was extremely angry as was my friend, so we went to the school and complained, not only about them swearing, but that park is for up to 8-9yrs old children and these were 13+ and were going on the play equiptment 5-6 kids at a time, including the zip-line and swing.

Kim - posted on 03/13/2012

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Oh grow up- not even a parent are you joking? I was just ranting. I don't spend every day on facebook i do have a life. and yeah I have a 4yr old son if you read my profile.



Thank you sharon! Yeah I did have a bad few days and yeah i was in need of a good vent or rant! I don't appreciate anyone takin the mick out of me. I don't come on her often thats why I don't reply! I have a life and a house and a family and friends that need more attention then facebook and answering silly questions like are you a parent on Circle of moms, when i've been a member for about 4years.



Maybe I did choose some wrong words to describe people. like the word "chav." I'm sorry if I offended anyone but I don't like stupid behaviour, for example last week in college 3 times the fire alarms were set off by students, a email has been sent to everyone in college saying it is stupid and dangerous.



I do not come online everyday and I only come on here bout once a month, so don't expect a quick reply.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 02/15/2012

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Well, i think it was to stir the pot Sharon. Notice it was posted 2 days ago, and she has not come back. I don't even think she is a mother.

[deleted account]

I think this was meant to be a "vent", not a poke at you Mums here on CoM. The OP has obviously heard some distressing things lately and she just needs to get it off her chest. just sayin'

~♥Little Miss - posted on 02/14/2012

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Soooo...Kim...Are you a mom? Do you have kids? Are you pregnant?

Kim - posted on 02/14/2012

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I know quite a few English parents on here :/ lol there's even groups just for north east britians.

Do you know the term CHAV in the USA?? (if thats where you are) Well britain is full of them and they think it's funny that they cut school and not get an education.

plus it was Jamie Bulger's birthday other day - very sad story if you haven't already heard it. (might have spelt it wrong) but it's about a toddler who got kidnapped and tortured to death by kids!

Horrible! Parents need to sort their kids out. Teach them thats it wrong to go around feeding anti-freeze to animals (like they have been this winter)

[deleted account]

In my 10 years of being a mom I have seen way more awesome and on top of it parents than crappy ones. Yes, parents like what you describe DO exist, but the majority of them are just doing the best they can and really do care about their kids and what is going on.



Of course, I notice you live in Britain.... I know nothing about what it is like over there and neither will a lot of the posters on this site.



Edited to say 'a lot' instead of 'most'.

Kim - posted on 02/14/2012

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Just parents not doing as they should. Too many stupid children around, kids who think its funny to torture other living beings, including other kids. Getting spoilt for no good reason other than their parents have money to waste, or at least thats what they think.

Kids putting up photos of themselves in bras, low cuts tops and short skirts wanting attention of the wrong sort then the boys who get these on their phones are breaking the law, let alone themselves breaking the law, some of them are disgusting! practically child porn.

It's not something to be taken lighty, please see the serious side of what I have put, I'm "pi**ed" off with parents in general letting their children do this.

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