No bond with my first child and it hurts

King - posted on 07/13/2015 ( 2 moms have responded )

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Hello,

I'm new to the site and nervous about telling my story.

I had my first child in 2009. During my pregnancy o went through a lot of drama with the dad and went into postpartum depression after birth. I didn't get a chance to bond with my baby because I went back to work a week after having a c-section. He was in the care of his father while I worked. At the time we lived with his grandmother that is overbearing and so whenever I got home I had to deal with her. My son has never clinged to me or ran to me like he missed me. He is six years old now and I'm about to have my second child. My oldest doesn't care about the new baby or me. He's attached to his father and grandmother. I am considered a bad mother because I don't have a bond. I love my son and want my son but I don't wanna compete to be a parent. What should I do?

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King - posted on 07/13/2015

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Thanks for the response. I'm not sure how things are going to turn. I'm just in a hole and it tears me apart. I do love my son.

Jeanne - posted on 07/13/2015

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Thanks for.sharing. If he has bonded to others then he has the ability to bond with you more deeply than he already has bc he is able to trust. I learned the importance of this with both of my adppted children. My bond with my son was also delayed but developed through time and is now amazingly strong. I used to cry when he wasn't happy to see me but after dedicating alot of one on one time with him the bond developed. And I think he was already bonded more than I knew, which I believe is true in your case too. Never too late to strengthen the bond!

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