Joy - posted on 10/20/2009 ( 221 moms have responded )
I want to start by saying that by posting this, I am not trying to put down anyone's parenting style, so I don't want a bunch of insulted mothers to start emailing me. I'm just simply trying to help new mothers who are not sure of what to do.
I know that it can be frustrating when your baby cries a lot and wants you ALL of the time and is glued to you. My son was like this for a long time, so I know exactly what it's like. There's probably a lot of people telling you to just let your baby cry it out and they will learn to comfort themselves, and that you will spoil your baby by running to them and holding them whenever they cry. But the truth is, you can not spoil a baby. They cry because they need something, not because they want something. And when they are babies, they cry because they need you. They cry when you lay them down by themselves because they feel insecure and scared. When you let them cry it out a few nights in a row, and then they stop crying when you put them to bed, it's not because they've learned to be "good". It's because they've given up hope that their parent will come for them. It's because they feel like they can't depend on you anymore. To me, that is the saddest thing ever. Why would you rather put your baby through that, than spend some time each night soothing your baby to sleep? It's a proven fact that children whose parents use the attachment parenting method grow up to be much more confident, independant adults. So I just wanted to let people know, if they are not sure what to do, just keep this in mind. And whenever you are tired of rocking your baby to sleep and wish you could just lay him/her down and leave the room, just think that if something were to happen, and this were your last time you got to spend with your baby, wouldn't you wish you had enjoyed that extra bit of bonding, instead of trying to get away as soon as possible? Enjoy every moment you have with your baby, and whey they don't want you to ever put them down, take that as a compliment. The love that your baby has for you is a kind of love that you can't find anywhere else.