Non custodial mother!!!

Hilary Ann - posted on 09/05/2015 ( 3 moms have responded )

4

0

1

I am of course a mother who did not get custody of my girls because I didn't have the money to fight for my girls. But now I have had them since July 2014 and do not get any help with hardly anything for them. I of course live in Minnesota and he lives in North Dakota. I can not find a lawyer who will take my care in either state because of jurisdiction issues without applying through the courts to file to switch it to be moved to MN. I don't of course have ten grand to put up for this and do what it would take. So my question to those non custodial moms out their who got their children back from their exes can I file for child support even though I am the one who should be paying child support but am not for the fact that my ex has not filed for it and I now have them. What do I do?

3 Comments

View replies by

Jodi - posted on 09/05/2015

3,562

36

3907

Unfortunately, in order to force him to pay you, you ARE likely going to have to file again to have the custody corrected. When you file for child support, they usually take the custody orders into account. But check with a lawyer just in case. Either way, it is best to have the custody orders sorted regardless, because if left as they are, he could just come and pick up the kids and not return them at any time he chooses and there isn't a thing you could do about it.

With regard to him not being fair to the girls, unfortunately, you can't control the choices he makes. They will eventually sort it out for themselves. You don't need to explain to them why he doesn't call them or see them - all you have to do is tell then you don't know why, that is something they can ask him.

Hilary Ann - posted on 09/05/2015

4

0

1

Yes he did give them back to me two months after the divorce was finalized. So my mistake I should have waited the two months to sign papers but how was I to know he'd give them back to me. Also I can't find a lawyer to take the case without paying another lawyer to go to the courts and file for it to be switched to MN instead of ND. It's going to cost me another ten grand to do all of that and I don't have the money for that so I'm stuck with an agreement through my ex husband and I. And yes I did pay child support I paid him directly instead of going through child support. But now that he doesn't have them he keeps telling me he can't afford to give me anything but yet goes to Vegas, Florida and wherever else on vacations and to me that's not fair to my kids. I give them everything they need and then some but would really love to have the extra help for the girls. And I don't think it's fair that I don't go on any vacations and do all the full time responsibility and get nothing. Also he wouldn't even take them for the summer and doesn't ever come and see them and doesn't ever call them. How do I tell my girls that their dad isn't making them a priority in his life when they ask why dad doesn't ever come and see them. Also when they know he goes on vacations when tells them when they call him to talk. He's hurting them not me I just want what's fair for the girls since he helped me make them and should play a better role in their lives.

Jodi - posted on 09/05/2015

3,562

36

3907

I'm confused. You don't actually have legal custody of your daughters, and when they weren't in your custody, you didn't pay child support then, but now you want child support, but the legal documents still say you don't have custody. Are you saying your ex just gave you back the children, and that no court ruled that you have custody?

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms