non-custodial mothers...

Shonny - posted on 11/03/2013 ( 9 moms have responded )

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I'm new here , and have felt like the world is against me for the last 3 yrs...... My ex has my 3 children , and it was set as of last July , I miss them so much , it's a long and pain full topic to talk about , and I find the worst days of the year are their birthdays , Mother's Day and Xmas ........ Just a few house ago , my ex calls me up and tells me that he is dating a very close friend of mine , I'm hurt by this friend , I need to know if I'm overreacting ?? I feel nothing for him , but hate ....

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[momoftwo] - posted on 11/03/2013

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Depending on the situation you should have rights to be able to see your children. And no feeling anger towards your ex or his gf is normal. It happens all the time. I feel hate towards my ex because he won't come see his daughter.

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Shonny - posted on 11/11/2013

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hey , here is the link to the facebook page i have just set up
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Non-Custodial-Parents/174091632792051
it might be easier to copy and paste it..... i hope it works

Shonny - posted on 11/10/2013

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Hey Evelyn , u r more stronger than I am , I don't think I have it in me to fight a winless battle for that long, after the phone call I had with my ex last nite , it just seems hopeless for me to even try , his new gf is living with them now , they r doing "family things" that we never did , I just feel like I'm being erased ....... My email address is honeybear_81@hotmail.com , or u can look me up on Facebook, I'm thinking of starting a Facebook page for mothers like us , who only have each other to talk to .... What do u think ??

Ev - posted on 11/05/2013

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Shonny-I wish it was Australia but I live in the United States. And I have no idea if there are any face to face groups or support groups around. I have never heard of any where I live. You could try to find one of these groups or somehow seek out a place that could get you in touch with others in your situation. I know how hard this is. I have been doing this 11 years now and it will not end until 2015 when my youngest becomes 18. But I am also in a much better place now too. But I can be a support for you if you want to email me through here. I will answer any questions that I can and offer ideas to help you. Or I can just be that person that listens.

Shonny - posted on 11/05/2013

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I can't believe there r more mums out there that r suffering , and trying to get by , just like I am..... I guess until one is going throu pain like this it's hard to think that nowadays it classed a "common" .
I'm in sydney Australia , where abouts r u Evelyn Witt? I wonder if there r face to face support groups cause my friends have no clue the kind of pain I'm dealing with everyday , mostly cause they have their kids or they done have kids.... I seem to cry at a drop of a hat I'm that emotional , some days I struggle just to get out of bed, I suffer with depression. I thought it would b a great idea to set my kids up a Facebook page, and only have my family added to it, and have my ex post pics of my kids .... I gave him the log in details , and he is too busy playing the stupid slot games ......

Ev - posted on 11/03/2013

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THen how did he end up with the kids?

I have been on your end of this for 11 years. I can understand the pain and frustration very well. I had to learn to use my time with them wisely and make sure that they knew that I loved them every chance I had to tell them. I also made sure they understood that no matter what had happened with me and their dad that they were not the ones that caused it either. It was also hard being alone in my new home for long periods of time until the next weekend or holiday visit. I had to learn to keep myself very busy and get up every day even though for a long time it was for them not for myself. I also had a lot of people try to tell me it was going to get better but I could not see that and they did not understand where I came from. I did not know of any non-custodial moms 11 years ago and it was almost unheard of let alone being one of those that did not have the kids for bad reasons. WE do have JOINT CUSTODY THOUGH. He has primary care parent. Its a tough road to go down but if you work at it; it can be done. As for girlfriends and such, don't let that get to you. Just ignore it. It is his life now. Even if this person is an ex friend of yours, what they do has nothing to do with you and if this so called friend did this to you then that person was no friend. As for the holidays and birthdays, and such you should have some rights or visitation to see them. Mother's day weekend should be yours no matter what.

I can feel your pain. Just reach out and you will find more of us like you.

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