Nose piercing?

Cmarin7 - posted on 06/23/2015 ( 14 moms have responded )

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Hi I am 16 years old and have been wanting a nose piercing for so long!! I've brought it up to my mom many times and she has always said no. I will go months without asking her and when I bring it up again she gets even more mad than the last time. I want this piercing so bad and have done all my research on it but I don't know how to convince her. At this point since I am legal I am thinking about going to do it on my own behind her back.

What do you think I should do?

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 06/25/2015

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Great permissive mom you must be Sherri!
However, the question was whether or not she should disrespect her mother's express statement of NO when asked about the piercing. Advocating for a child to go behind their mother's back, and breach that trust is not being a parent, my dear lady.
Remember, when your kids actually reach teenage ages, you'll have expectations of them as well, one being to heed what you tell them, whether they like it or not. Hopefully they will listen and respect your decisions as a parent, but karma's a bitch...advocating for one kid to go against their parents direct refusal is asking for yours to treat you the same.
Yes, in my home, where the legal age for adulthood is 18 by law, if my 16 YO were to go against my final decision and get a piercing, the trust will have been breached. Trust is a very fragile thing. Once it's gone, it's very hard to regain. As I stated, if that child DID manage to regain my trust in them, they would be more than welcome to stay in my home until they were ready to be on their own. However, if that headstrong little brat doesn't? They are not welcome in my home. They think they know better than their parent? Great: There's the door and the world. Go to it, baby! You want to do it on you're own, you're welcome to it.
That DOES NOT mean that I don't love my kids, regardless, but if one were to disrespect my rules and my parenting, then that one doesn't need to stay after they turn legal age.

Gena - posted on 06/26/2015

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Sherry i totaly disagree with your comment. I do not have a teenager but I was one 10 yrs ago. Guess what i did?? I went and got a nose piercing with a friend BEHIND my parents back..stupid idea. Why? First of all i got a bad infection. Secondly my friend and i were both forced to take it out. I would have had to take mine out in anycase cuz of the infection. At the age 16 you look for a job and it looks pretty darn silly with a puss crusty spot on your nose..wich left a scar! I got my first tattoo aswell behind my parents back and i tried to hide it as long as possible..but they found out. I dont advice ANY 16 year old to get a tattoo. To be honost the first tattoo i got was a reminder of my sister that passed away and my parents werent too upset. Its also one of only a few don't regret.
Now I want to tell you something. By 19 I had 10 piercings in my face and lots of tattoo's. When I look back at photos I honestly ask myself WHAT ON EARTH was I thinking! My parents must have been ashamed of me!! I studied art and worked at a tattoo parlor when I was 18. Now I am 26,married 6yrs with an amazing 4yr old boy.
The reason I told you this is because when I was 20 I went through a very hard time. I took all piercings out and only kept one tongue piercing. But my body and arms were full of tattoos that I regretted. My parents ALWAYS told me DONT GET MORE but I never listened to them. Bad decision not to because for two whole years I was sooooo ASHAMED of what I did to my body. It was so bad with people staring that I would wear long sleeves in the hottest summer! I would rather melt then be stared at.
Today I accept myself and I got alot of tats covered up with different motives. But honestly,if I would have listened to my parents I would not have gone through two years of shame!

The moral of my story is: 16yr olds should listen to their parents..even 18yr olds can get good advice from their parents. And youngster..please don't make bad decisions when it comes to your body. Piercings or tattoos..I know you think you wont regret it..but believe me..things can look different in only a few years! Parents know what's best for you and respect that. When they say no its because they love and care for you!
And when my son is 18 and wants tats I will have a very long good talk with him!

Sherry - posted on 06/25/2015

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I disagree with everyone else here. Why are y'all acting like a girl doing something so minor to HER body is the end of the world, the destroyer of all motherly trust, the catalyst that will bring about the end of her life as well as her mothers, and also just the worst thing ever? Literally this is such a minor thing I can't even believe how crazy you people are. "Inviting" the kid to leave home as soon as they turn 18 because of a damn piercing? Jesus! The bottom line is, the OP's body is her own and no one owns it, not even her mother, besides HER. If she wants a piercing this badly, she will likely get it and no amount of online fear mongering will deter her. Also, how is it disrespectful to do something with one's own body that mommy dearest doesn't approve of? Unless her brain and soul are the ones inhabiting that body then I'm pretty sure it isn't hers to dictate (at least not such a trivial thing). You guys are just incredible lol. So dramatic.

My advice to Chelsea is to go ahead and do it but keep in mind that your mother will likely be upset and it'll probably cause tension between you, as silly and pointless of an argument as it may be. She'll probably get over it quickly enough but then again I don't know your mother. But keep in mind if she 'invites' you to move out or 'puts you on restriction' until you're 18 at which point she can kick you to the curb, she probably isn't worth your energy anyway. Good luck!

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 06/23/2015

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If you truly respect your mother, you will respect her decision while you reside in her house.
TBH, were you my child, and chose to go behind my back to do something expressly forbidden, you'd be on restriction until you DID turn 18. If you managed to earn back my trust before then, I would allow you to remain in my home until you found a suitable situation to move into, but if you failed to regain my trust, you'd be invited to leave my home on your 18th birthday.
A parent's decision is final in my house. Once my kids got to adulthood, they were free to do what they wished.

14 Comments

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Jodi - posted on 06/26/2015

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Ok, I'm going to actually agree with Sherry, that a nose piercing at 16 isn't that big a deal. It's legal to do it here too. Many, MANY teens get it done. I can understand mum has her rules, but personally, I don't see that this is one I'd battle at this age. If this makes me a permissive mum, so-be-it. I wouldn't agree with you there, neither would many who know me. But maybe that is a cultural thing too.

Do I agree with her disrespecting her mother? No. She shouldn't just go behind her back and do it. But I do think the mother is going over the top.

Chelsea, have you tried to sit down and talk to your mother at an adult level about this? What are her reasons for not wanting you to have it? You need to be mature about this and consider and respect her reasons too. If you know what her reasoning is, then you can perhaps address her concerns.

Dove - posted on 06/25/2015

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It has very little to do w/ WHAT the issue is... but everything to do w/ the fact that the child asked and the parent said no. Waiting til 18 to do what she wants to her body is not the end of the world.

Dove - posted on 06/25/2015

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Well Sherry... I sure hope when/if you have a teenaged daughter and you don't want her doing something she goes ahead and does it anyway behind your back and against your wishes... I mean, since you are advocating for the OP to do whatever she wants while under her mother's roof I'm sure you won't mind your own children doing the same and rubbing your face in their disrespect for the boundaries you set for them.

Gena - posted on 06/23/2015

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What 6 other piercings do you have? Does your mother know about them and is ok with it? I can't imagine that she would be ok with you having 6 piercings because she says no to a nose piercing. I advice you to NOT go and do it behind her back. You will break trust and you might have to deal with consequences. Wait till you are 18.

Dove - posted on 06/23/2015

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And yes... if you were my child and went behind my back like this... I'd ground you from every single privilege in the house... and make you remove the piercing.

Dove - posted on 06/23/2015

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Wait until you are 18... if you still want it, get it then. It is completely disrespectful to go against your mother's wishes behind her back and will likely put a HUGE strain on your relationship.

I guess you are going to have to decide what is more important to you... getting a piece of metal shoved in your nose... or respecting your mother.

Cmarin7 - posted on 06/23/2015

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In Canada it is legal for me to do it at 16. I do respect my mother very much so, but just not this decision because I have 6 other piercings I take care of!

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 06/23/2015

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do you have any respect for the woman that birthed and raised you?
Where is it legal for a 16 YO to get a body piercing without parental permission? I ask, because in most states that I am familiar with, you have to be 18 before you can make that choice without parental approval.
I think you should respect your mother's decision. When you're an adult, at 18, you can do what you wish.

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