Not a mom but a daughter seeking advice about my own mother! please please help, i need someone to talk to

Kimmy - posted on 10/05/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )




I am a 20 year old college student living at home with, what i think, is an overprotective mother. Since i was younger she never let me spend the night at a friends house, go to the movies, or even drive when i was of age and insisted on dropping me off and picking me up. I have healthy relationships with my peers now but when i was younger throughout highschool , i experienced a lot of grief because i wasn't allowed to do what other kids were. Now, in my 3rd year of college, the same things happen. I am not allowed out past midnight on the weekends and definitely not on the weekdays, but she always says let her know if ill be home later than curfew. Which brings me to my most recent issue. Last night i went out with some friends to dinner and a movie. The movie we wanted to see got pushed back later which means it ended later than expected. i texted her and told her. then my friend left his keys in my car and i had to turn around and drop them back off, which made me later. again i texted and told my mom. when i got home she was furious, calling me irresponsible for not letting her know and i told her i texted her multiple times and she said she didn't care and i shouldve called. THEN she somehow goes into a rant about how i do nothing to help her. My mother was released from the hosiptal about a week ago. I picked her up, took her home, made her dinner, stayed with her, even missed my next class. I did her eyebrows for her as well. She was unable to drive so i took her to work in the morning, which meant i had to sit on my campus for an extra hour before my class started. I have picked her up and took her home every day so far. But because i didnt paint her nails for her or help her grade work( shes a teacher) because i had my own homework, she says i do nothing to help her. This morning she took my phone, which i bought myself. I just dont know if im a bad daughter or if this is normal or what i should do. seriously considering moving out, please help!


Dove - posted on 10/05/2014




From only hearing your side of things... it does sound as if she is being unreasonable. You are 20 years old and should be treated like an adult. You did let her know that you would be home late due to circumstances really beyond your control... which WAS the right and respectful thing to do. But... it is also her house and her rules.

My advice? Sit down and try talking to her as one adult to another. Let her know that you do respect her and will continue to respect her, but need to establish some boundaries. Ask her to put in writing what it is she does and does not expect of you while living in her home... and if it isn't reasonable... you will need to find a way to move out of her house and get out on your own.

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