not a mom but an adult with cp

Sarah - posted on 08/25/2014 ( no moms have responded yet )




It seems that there is not a lot of study in the US regarding adults with CP. Other countries like the UK and AUS have done research and this information has been helpful to me.
My back story is probably not uncommon to those birth stories of most of you but, the difference is that I am 45. I was born prior to 26 weeks and weighed 2LBs 10 1/2 oz. I was quite a specticle according to my mother. Few doctors had seen a baby that small let alone one that was alive. My mother was overwhelmed with a child born unexpectantly. My brother turned one just four days after my birth. We were a handful. I spent a couple months in an isolette with a feeding tube in my head. I wore a handiwipe for a diaper as there were no such thing as premie diapers or any kind of special equipment yet available for a premie.

My family told stories of how I cried all the time and complained of "phantom" pains. I have had anxiety and depression as long as I can remember. By the time I was 13, my mother was pretty much over my crying spells and what she referred to as insulant behavior. By 16, I was sent to boarding school. I know I was battling severe anxiety and depression. When I was 18 I moved away as far as I could get. I did have some good times in my life but, mostly overreacted about most things. I guess the reason that I am writing this is to let you know that a child with even mild cp can have struggles with anxiety and depression. I hated myself and just wanted someone to believe me that I was struggling. It was harder to keep up, I hated change. All these years later I am really struggling. I have pain in my hips, knees and ankles. Its a struggle. I used to do anything I wanted. I thought I had the world by the tail in my 20's and 30's. I pushed and pushed myself to never stop because I always believed it was in my head. Now in my mid 40's, I start my day in physical pain and the worst pain is in my heart. Don't really want to live anymore. I continue because I know my husband needs me. Please watch your children and make sure that they do not suffer from these issues later in life. I am trying to get social security but, have been turned down twice. I worked so hard in my life. That is what I should be doing now.

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