Not a Stepmom yet, but he is Proposing. How do we break the news?!

Kiki - posted on 12/22/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )




I have been dating my boyfriend for almost three years. He has two wonderful children that I adore. His ex-wife has had trouble coping since the get-go. She threatens to take the children away over any conflict. (i.e. his requesting that she not modify the schedule so much) So we've talked marriage and he asked my family for their blessing so the proposal is coming soon.

All that to ask: How do we break the news in a loving/respectful way to an already toxic ex-wife? I do not believe at this current time in our lives that she would be able to calmly have a conversation with either of us. I also do not want her to find out through the children or social media.

Help! How do we do this!


Michelle - posted on 12/22/2014




Unfortunately, if you can't have a rational conversation with her then there's not really a loving and respectful way to tell her.
If your boyfriend can talk to her on the phone then let him tell her if not he may need to send her a letter or email. All he needs to write is: Just letting you know that I have proposed to Kiki and she has said yes. I didn't want you to find out through anyone else, that's why I am writing to you now.
He doesn't need to go into any details.

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