Not enjoying my 15 month old

Natasha - posted on 04/01/2010 ( 21 moms have responded )

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I am almost 8 weeks pregnant with my 2nd child and I currently have a 15 month old boy. I am so exhausted, that I am having trouble enjoying being around my young son. I have just been posted 2 weeks full time, through a labour hire company to do some Admin temping and I am really enjoying that I do not have to look after my young son. I feel so guilty about it, however I know I still love him to bits. I was wondering if anyone else felt like this during their 2nd pregnancy with a young child? I hope this is only a first trimester thing, as I don't want to permanently damage our close bond.

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Karen - posted on 04/02/2010

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Be kind to yourself. Being pregnant makes you tired and can make you feel overwhelmed. Honestly, fifteen month olds are very active and into EVERYTHING. It is tough!!!

Ask for help. Be realistic about your "to do" list. Take rest breaks on the couch or take a nap with your little one. Set aside time to play with your son and then encourage him to play with his toys by himself. We go outside for short periods of time to walk and to play...he sleeps better at naps. Give him lots of hugs, kisses, and tell him what a great kid he is.

Take care of yourself and have a great pregnancy.

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Barb - posted on 03/13/2012

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I have trouble with energy. The first trimester was a lot harder cause I was really really sick and even more tired then now. I am still tired and need a coffee by her nap time to keep me going. She has been pretty good with understanding mommy gets very tired easy, because of baby. She is 2 and been amazing during my pregnancy. I love her to bits and am so lucky I have such an amazing little girl!

Steffanie - posted on 04/05/2010

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You will feel better in a few months. The first few months are horrible, and it is hard to have the energy to run after a toddler. I remeber how tired I was with my pregancies, and it was hard to stay awake. If your home with him, nap with him. Take him to the park, or do a mommy and me class, so you tire him out and can nap during the day. Make sure you take your prenatal vitamans. Good luck to you,.

Rose - posted on 04/05/2010

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I felt like this when i wasn't prego. Sometimes we just need a break from our kids no matter how much we love them. The only time i get to my self is at work. I feel guilty from time to time. I know people say as a mom you shouldn't need a break but you know what those are the moms who aren't home with their kids 24/7 or they get to have me time outside of work. I love being a mom to death but sometimes i need me some quiet.

Kerry - posted on 04/05/2010

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@ Lynsey - read the whole message. There's a context and a reason. I won't go into a long message about how rude and unhelpful that was. No point. @ Natasha - DON"T FEEL GUILTY! You are tired, stressed and full of galloping hormones. It's totally normal to feel like that. You love your son but 15 months is a difficult age. My two are 18 months apart (now 3.5 and just turned 5) and my second pregnancy was a nightmare - but I love them both unreservedly and they know that! I still suffer with guilt feelings as I work, do a lot of training for triathlon and get very little sleep as my little one is diabetic so I'm up and down most nights testing her blood sugar etc. Only this morning I yelled at them both for some stupid trivial reason as I'm full of cold and feeling grotty - then spent the next hour feeling SO guilty! It's normal. Just try and get as much rest as you can, then spend some quality time with your son when you're feeling a bit less tired. Ask for help from friends and family! You'll be fine - don't worry. The bond will always be there and things will get better as the kids get older!

Jennifer - posted on 04/05/2010

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I think it's perfectly normal and acceptable for a parent to sometimes feel they need a break from their kid/kids. Pregnant or not, but especially that far along into the pregnancy. My children are 13 and 7, and I am willing to admit that there are times I just don't want to be around the 7 year old; my daughter is high maintenance, demands a lot of attention and coddling, is super sensitive to evrything, and sometimes I just don't want to deal with it. So, don't feel bad or guilty, because it doesn't mean you love him any less. I'm betting there are times my kids would rather be around someone else instead of me, but I know I'm their mom and they love me, same as they are my children and I love them.

Dawn - posted on 04/05/2010

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I can relate...and a lot of it is hormones.

I am 30 weeks pregnant with #4 right now....my others are almost 7, 4 and 2. I'm a stay at home mom, so I have to invent ways to have adult conversation (play group, etc). I find I am a better mom to my kids when I have time to do other things by myself...even if it's just going grocery shopping :). This pregnancy has been pretty tough physically--much harder than my others and some days we watch a lot more Dora & Max & Ruby than I would usually allow. I think the first part of a pregnancy and the last are the hardest (the exhaustion thing), but you will likely find a little break somewhere in the middle :).

Your little guy will not even remember details from this time of his life. So just try to give him some extra snuggling when you have the energy. You are NOT doing permanent damage to your bond with him. Also, this will probably re-occur when baby is born for a time. That's okay too. It all works out in the end...at least it did with my other ones :). You just have to be as patient as possible with your little guy AND with yourself.

Tanya - posted on 04/05/2010

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Whilst you are pregnant with you rsecond child your son can sense that there is another sibling that is getting more of mummies attention, but did you know that they can communicate to one another and this would be a good thing for you in the long-run as they will become alot more caring for each other. Because if you shut one out the other will rebel and this is not good for you and your health, get connected with your first child and this will give you a better pregnancy and positive energy for a good birth.

Dieisha - posted on 04/03/2010

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Well I am 7 month pregnant with my second child. My daughter is about to be two. For me I have my days. But then there are times when it seems like I never sleep. It will go away.

Maria - posted on 04/02/2010

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I understand the exhaustion of being pregnant with a small child. Thomas, now 22 months, was only 9 months old when we found out we were pregnant (suprise!). I was so tired and I was suffering from hyperemesis gravidarum, AGAIN,with the second pregnancy so I was puking 24 hr a day. I felt sooooo guilty b/c my little guy would want to play and I was on the couch with a waste basket in my arms just trying to get through the day!! Then I found out I was pregnant with twins on Thomas's first birtday! OMG! I felt even more devastated that I was going to lose my son's affection and our special bond. I cried for weeks. But, what I found, was that I and so many of my close friends who were pregnant with their second babies, all had the same fears and NONE of those fears were realized!! My little miracle boy Thomas is still just as close to me now and he was when we had no children. He was 18 months old when the twins were born, and it did take a few months of adjusting for everyone. But he is not traumatized, he is still loving and close to me. I make special time for him every day. Just hang in there, it's ok to feel wiped out and not very playful. Just remember,your child knows how much you love him and that won't change, no matter how tired you feel. Good luck!!

Barbara - posted on 04/02/2010

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Sorry to hear you are having a bit of difficulty. My children are only 18 months apart and it really was like I had twins. I was so tired while I was pregnant with my daughter and felt quilty about my son because I felt like I was cheating him of having a mom just for him. It was so bad I didnt even tell anyone I was pregnant until it really started to show on me - about 6 months along. I really didnt snap out of it until she was 4 months old, when she thought was a seisure. I stayed up for days watching her to make sure she was okay, that's when everything I was "holding" in released and I could LOVE them both equally and full time. It was still a struggle with feeding, bathing, and such but it was also fun. The only think I would have changed, if I could was to space them a year further apart but other than that they are both great young adults now (18 & 19) and ready to go off to college, Now another problem for me .... empty nest syndrom. :)

Sarah - posted on 04/02/2010

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First of all...not a big fan of Lyndsay or her comment. I'm sure most moms feel the way you do sometimes and won't admit it. I know that I do with my 15 month old...and I'm not even pregnant with my second yet. I am self employed as a muralist so sometime I have tons of work and sometimes I'm a stay-at-home mom. I love/hate both. I guess it's about finding a balance and keeping yourself mentally stimulated. And not having any regrets. Just know that you are not alone and that how you feel is completely normal.

[deleted account]

Oh no! Been there and done that! I have a two year old, a 6 month old, & I am 9 weeks pregnant. Don't feel gulity! You know why you like going to work? I'll tell you my reason, on the days that I go to work it is my only contact with adults, I am granted some time for personal hygiene & a shower, I also can normally get a meal for myself, & maybe even run an errand on the way home and not have to bring the whole circus with me.



Lordy when I get to leave for work I run out of the house giggling like a mad woman! I will come home to find my husband just worked over by our two kids & I think to myself "yeah buddy you remember this when you say that it must be nice to just sit around all day & play with kids."



Your totally normal, no damage will be done. The only way I ever get a break is by going to work. I am a nurse in a busy emergency room, I run & work less in a 12hr shift than I do at home, and I can actually find a moment to sit down for a second or two & at least they give me a 30 minute break!



Don't be so hard on yourself :)

Jocelyn - posted on 04/02/2010

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Totally normal. My son was 2.5 yrs when I was preg again, and omg did he drive me up the wall! I was so exhausted and so nauseous that I wanted nothing to do with this hyper active child. I did feel guilty, but once I was into the second trimester, I started feeling a lot better, and our relationship went back to normal. Don't worry, it will all be fine ^_^

Kelley - posted on 04/02/2010

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I'm Pregnant with my sixth baby. All have been born about 2 years apart. Little ones have so much energy at this age, it's hard to keep up with them when your NOT pregnant. It will get easier in the next few weeks. Just be ready for these same feelings to reappear after the baby is born. Newborns are so time consuming, Your little one will most likely act out a bit while learning to adjust to the new baby and not having your full attention. All of this is normal. Just like your little boy, you will learn to adjust!! Even though it's hard now, they will be great buddies!!! CONGRATS!!

Natasha - posted on 04/01/2010

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@ Lyndsy. I have enjoyed my son until I this 2nd pregnancy, hence the reason for this thread.

Lyndsay - posted on 04/01/2010

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Okay, I'm going to put myself in the line of fire here and say right out what I'm thinking. If you don't enjoy your first child then why the hell are you having a second one?

Stacey - posted on 04/01/2010

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don't feel guilty. i was a stay at home momma for a while and at one point told my husband that i HAD to get out of the house and get a job. after that i was alot happier, and so are my children for it. you are going through alot of hormones and you are exhausted. what you are feeling is totally normal. a lot of mom's feel this way, just not all have the courage to say anything. you know you love him, and he loves you. that's what matters. your not going to damage anything. good luck, and don't be to hard on yourself.

Crystal - posted on 04/01/2010

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I think you are just overwhelmed. My boys are a yr and 2 days apart. 15 month olds can drain your energy... hang in there it gets better

Kristin - posted on 04/01/2010

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Totally normal to feel exhausted and not want to care, really, for anyone else. I'm 31 weeks into my 3rd pregnancy and my other two boys are 5 and 2.5 years. Never feel guilty about doing something that keeps you on an even keel or even close to your happy place. Your child will remember that you were happy in general and to be with him. I hope you feel better soon, this does pass.

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