Not really working out, trying not to give in.

Heaven - posted on 09/15/2013 ( 8 moms have responded )

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I have an abusive, Manipulative, bully for a wife. I don't want to bad mouth her but, these are pure facts. We have only been married for 3 years but known each other for 7. I have 1 child with her, Daughter. I try to contain her arguments to a room or front seat but we cannot agree that the most important responsibility should be or daughter and her childhood. She hits, throws things, and yells curse words constantly in front of our daughter. I have called CPS to get them involved positively but they said that I am as wrong as her. There is no help out there at all but JESUS in your life. I put it in his hands daily. I believe he will deliver me and my wife in due time. I pray angels surround and protect my daughter at all times and she never feels alone or forgotten. I command the angels to block her ears and her mind from allowing any seeds of fault to take root. Because nothing that happens between her mother and me is her fault. I love my wife and my daughter to death. I hope you take authority in this situation an don't give in. You never fail until you stop trying. This is my fight and it continues.

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Gayle - posted on 09/17/2013

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Talk with your pastor again. Tell him whatvyouwrote here. Tell him you need guidance as your family is spiraled out of control. You need to protect this child. You'll need help.

Cecilia - posted on 09/17/2013

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It is helpful advice. If you choose not to take it, then that is fine. I said you should look into therapy, funny your pastor suggested it also. My suggestion is slightly different. I said you by yourself, her by herself, you child by their self and then see someone together. To fix a marriage you need to fix yourself. She needs to fix herself. Then come together with new eyes to fix the things together.

Heaven - posted on 09/17/2013

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The next thing I forgot to address is, yes the CPS said that I was as guilty as she was because I would leave for work with no other choice but to make rent, car insurance, food, and children's needs. Again thanks for the input but I really am looking for helping comments not pointing fingers at fault or wrong doing. Leaving her alone with our child made me as wrong as what was done when I left for work.

Heaven - posted on 09/17/2013

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"Doesn't god help those who help themselves?"
Yes he does. Certain things you are not supposed to force your hand on. for instance... what do you suggest I do? I have went to marriage counseling with my wife. I have went to anger management classes weekly for 2 years. She has went to anger management classes for 3 times in 1 month. not only regular marriage counselors have said to get another source of help but The pastor of my church said to get professional counselors to help.

Cecilia - posted on 09/16/2013

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Doesn't god help those who help themselves? You rely on him to do it all and being patient is not doing for yourself.

If your daughter is in a situation hearing things she shouldn't then pick her up and walk away. I'm not saying divorce. I never did say that. I never said not to try to fix your marriage. Go read it again. I told you you need to talk. You need to tell the other person what you see wrong and help them change. That is not what your plan is. Your plan is to wait.

Your "god factor" isn't working for you. You need to do something else while you wait for god. Therapy isn't a bad choice. I know many people think it will socially scar them or that it's for crazy people. The truth is it's very common and it does help many people to have a 3rd party look at their relationship and suggest how to make changes. If nothing else it can't make things worse can it?

The first step of every journey is deciding you aren't going to stay where you are.

None of the things I have suggested are things involved in turning your back on your religion. It is still intact.

Michelle - posted on 09/15/2013

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This line screams that there is more to this story:
"I have called CPS to get them involved positively but they said that I am as wrong as her."
I'm with Cecilia though, YOU need to make choices to prevent your daughter from being exposed to all that is going on, not "commanding the angels to block her ears".

Heaven - posted on 09/15/2013

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I have a deep rooted religious background that I will not turn my back on because things get tough in my life. I may not make all of the right choices but I try. I consider divorce quitting. At the end of the day can you really say that you tried if you get divorced after 3 years, 7 years? Trying is a continued effort in my mind. I want my daughter to see that hard work and determination towards anything is well worth it. She does see everything that is in front her eyes. I am praying for GOD to heal her which would be way better then any counselor or therapy modern science could provide. "Ask your doctor about the GOD factor" They will admit to a superior power. I have not dodged any responsibility I am on here to vent mainly. Also, there may be someone on here with insight past what I have heard and read so far. Thanks Cecilia

Cecilia - posted on 09/15/2013

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Asking angels for help isn't doing it is it? I'm not saying not to believe in what ever religion you believe in but you need to take responsibility for your life and your child's well being. I think it's a cop-out to say angels keep her from hearing and seeing the things going on around her. She sees and hears it and it will have a life-long affect on her.

God gave you a innocent sweet life that you (especially as a father) have the responsibility to protect. If you're not going to do it, then who is?

You say "You never fail until you stop trying" sorry but that means you've failed. I did not read one thing that you've done to change the life your daughter is living cept to ask angels for help.

Have you talked to your wife about the problems? not yell, not scream- talk. Tell her which things that need to be worked on in a constructive way. Listen to her when she asks you for you to change. Look into therapy, individual, family and for the child. do something other than simply calling CPS on her. Sorry but as a parent that is an insult and not constructive.

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