Not sure how to fix my issues with my 22 yr old son

[deleted account] ( no moms have responded yet )

I'l start by saying both of my boys were raised by myself and their step dad. As their mom I have given them tons of love, and have always put them first! I consider their feelings above anyone's, including myself. I did give in to them and give them whatever they wanted, they never wanted for anything. When my son was 11 he began to rebel and try to take control of everyone. He wasn't into drugs, but did the typical teenage stuff throughout his teenage years. He moved out at 19 had his own place for 2 yrs and now is back living with us with his girlfriend and baby. He works hard and is saving his money for a house. He has been here for 10 months now and I usually don't ask for anything, I don't charge him, except he pays one household bill a month. I try to avoid arguments because everything with him is basically an argument. I have to walk on egg shells and try to keep his mood good. I go out of my way with all the house work inside and out, and always feel as if he worked hard I don't want to ask him to do anything, and I don't want the argument. When I questioned him on something he gets loud, he likes to over talk you, and make threats to leave, and I won't see my grandchild. He will raise his voice and try to be the big boss man. I feel he is very disrespectful, arrogant, and unappreciative to all I have done for him. I have even gone out of my way to throw a shower together for them when her mom backed out. I buy them nice things, and he has never been treated unfair in any way. I am looking for answers on why he feels he can walk all over me, and my husband, when we are the ones that have always been there for him. I know I have allowed him to talk to me with disrespect, and should of stuck to what I said when he was growing up. I was always worried about his feelings since his dad stayed out of his life for a good portion of it. I am ready to turn my back and go on with my life without him in it. I can't stand that fact that I am always being told what to do or say around the baby, and any advice I may give is not wanted. I think that allowing him to live with us to save money is totally not appreciated. It is expected as is everything else. I need to find a way to get the respect I feel I deserve. I can't keep letting his bad attitude affect my life anymore. I can't stand that he flies off the handle over something as small as a couple questions. He seems to feel like he is being attacked, he also treats his brother and girlfriend the same way. It's his way or the highway. He has yelled at his brother before for swearing around me, and made this big deal about it, like he was in control again, and then he turned around and swears all the time. Basically to sum it up, I believe the more you do for him, its still never enough to him. He seems to treat all the people that are or should be important to him like crap. There is however a side of him that is caring, loving, and he is a very hard worker, been one since he was 15 yrs old. I just want to know I'm not the only one who goes through this and to try to figure out what I could of done wrong.

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