Not walking, but ready!

Angel - posted on 05/02/2012 ( 80 moms have responded )

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My daughter is almost eleven months old. She has been ready to walk since about six and a half months, but hasn't started. I've done tons of research and talked to my doctor. My doctor said she was too advanced and needed to slow down anyways, and I've done everything the Internet has suggested. I know she will walk when she's ready, but fear of falling has seemed to really slow her down! Has anyone experienced this? If so, what do you suggest?

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Firebird - posted on 05/02/2012

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Why does she need to be encouraged? As long as she sees other people walking around, that's encouragement enough for a baby. She's 11 months old, she needs to be allowed to do things at her own pace, and if you're trying to 'encourage' her to speed it up, then yes, you are pushing her. And I don't recall saying anything about you being a mom "who wants her child to better than all else." You seem to have come up with that idea on your own.

Firebird - posted on 05/02/2012

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You may see her as ready to walk, but if she isn't walking alone yet, she clearly does not feel ready. Just leave her be. She'll do it when she does feel ready, and pushing her is only going turn her off from walking.

Sherri - posted on 05/02/2012

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Sorry Angel but Joanna is 100% correct there really isn't anything you can do but let her be and let her do it at her own pace. If she hasn't attempted to do it on her own yet then she truly isn't ready. Simply walk with her holding your hands or let her furniture walk she will gain the confidence to let go and attempt it on her own when she is good and ready.



I also have been doing childcare for over 20yrs. So I have a lot of experience with this.



I also am not a teen mom and my 4 kids have never been in daycare I am a SAHM too. Before you question me too.

Sherri - posted on 05/02/2012

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Angel there was a post of yours that was deleted that was addressed to Joanna where you thumped her, saying she must be a teen mom and her daughter must be in daycare all day long etc etc. Sound familiar?? It most likely got reported and admin most likely deleted it.

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Kathy - posted on 05/07/2012

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Im happy to hear that she took some steps! Listen dont get upset at some of the advice people give. I really dont think anyone means to be mean or rude and i know when it comes to our children us as mothers ATTACK quick lol. We dont know you or your daughter so therefore noone can judge we can just speak from experience so keep doing what you feel is working and everything will work out fine in the end. Sounds like Abbigail is right on track so you are doing just fine:)

Kathy - posted on 05/07/2012

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I agree with most everyone else. Both of my kids walked at exactly 11 months old, but some children dont walk until 13,14, or 15 months. Its perfectly fine and normal that your child is not walking yet. I think you need to just leave it alone. She does not need any encouragement from anyone. Believe me sometimes that makes it worse. My son didnt show much interest in potty training and some of my family thought they would "encourage" him and it made it worse. All im trying to say is sometimes we as mothers have to step back and let our children do things at their own pace when they are ready. Enjoy that shes not walking yet because once they start walking everything changes!

Laurie - posted on 05/07/2012

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My mother-in-law got a helium balloon with a ribbon hanging temptingly down and her baby Paul wanted that balloon so he walked to get the balloon!

Terina - posted on 05/07/2012

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i think you need to realx a bit, the average baby dosent start walking till they are between 12 and 14 months anyway. my husband was 17 months when started walking it dosent mean he was slow. i know what you mean by she seemed ready then has stopped my son did the same , he was walking at 11 months for a bit fell over and crawled again untill 2 weeks after hs 1st birhtday. they all get there in the end if theres any cause for concern the health visitor or doctor would have said and they dont usually have concern that a child isnt walking at 11 months , if there is its normally because of other motor skills are affected too ,chill and enjoy while your baby isnt walking dont wish things too fast ;-)

Lkovaca - posted on 05/06/2012

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My daughter did the same thing. She stood up for the first time at 4.5 months which I had to prove to her doc cause he was skeptical. However, she didn't walk till 13 months without holding on to something. Don't worry Mom, she'll walk when she's ready. You might be very happy she waited a few months!

Lisa Kovac
Www.mythirtyone.com/lkovac

Angel - posted on 05/06/2012

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she is our first :)
and I know what you mean, I do try too hard sometimes! and I know from other mothers that with our second, things will be very different! intellectually, she has gotten so far by encouragement and I've worked very hard with her (only as long as she wants to though, I always stop when she stops) but I do need to fully realize that intellectually, she will learn at a different pace and in a different manner than physically. I will never push her or force her to do anything she does not want to do, but I will try to find new ways of teaching her things. like walking today, I held her torso instead of her hands and slowly let go and she kept going! and we tried in a big field with less distractions and room to roam, rather than in our home or outside where she is used to the area and knows exactly where she wants to go and what she wants to do.
I do love her, more than I could ever describe! but I think I will take your advice, I will slow down and just let her do her own thing! I will obviously try to help her walk when shed like to (with her initiation, not mine)
I do want what's best for her, and we are so very proud of her accomplishments.
from teaching my little sister so much when she was little, I've gotten to see how intelligent she really is! by two she was writing her own name, by kindergarten she was doing simple multiplecation.
I fully admit, I was a little intense with her, but she was always so eager to learn and my mother was never around and when she was, she didn't care for her or the rest of us.
I think from being my own role model as a mother, I've done quite well, but I should maybe do a little less sometimes lol
I'm not perfect, none of us are! but I'm so thankful to have you wonderful ladies to talk to when I need guidance!

Heather - posted on 05/06/2012

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is she your first, i totally know where your coming from, we want the best for our babies right from the get go, i was just like you with my first, sometimes i admit i try to hard with my first and worry too much. i used to walk around holding my older daughters hand and constantly encouarge her, from 7 months on. with the second i did nothing.

Heather - posted on 05/06/2012

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dont be supprised if she sometimes walks and then just stops walking for a bit. my older daughter would walk at others houses and at gymboree and id get all excited then we'd get home and shed refuse to walk. at least you know now that she can.

Angel - posted on 05/06/2012

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I helped her and encouraged her in every way that I could today and she now walks. thanks.

Heather - posted on 05/06/2012

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i suggest leave her alone, my daughter was ready to walk by about 11 months but didnt until 14, i find the more you try to get them to do something the more stubborn they become. Also just because she is advanced doesnt mean she should walk early. my now 3 year old sounded like she was trying to talk at 6 months, was for sure talking by 9 months, spoke in 5 word sentences (with pronunciation errors) by 19 or 20 months and now at 3 years she can sound out words and read small words and even write some letters and words. however she still holds onto the wall to walk up stairs and is very cautious with anything physical. my younger daughter is 16 months and couldnt care a less about books, and only says like 10-15 words, but she comando crawled at 5 months adjusted (shes a preemie) and regular crawled at 7 months adjusted and walked at 12 months adjusted. She has no fear and is very active. My point is if she is advanced then shes developing her mental skills first and her physical skills later.Shes probably smart enough to know that she doesnt want to take the slightest chance of getting hurt. my pediatrician told me that walking before 12 months is early, 12-15 months is average, and 16 -18 months is late but still ok. If she can walk around holding stuff, then she will walk when shes good and ready. Also you said shes advanced so she probably is not doing it because she knows you want her to and shes being stubborn. Do absolutly nothing and i bet she'll start walking.

Angel - posted on 05/06/2012

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Abbigail took her first steps today thanks to encouragement and realizing that mommy won't let her fall! so proud of my baby!

Bonnie - posted on 05/06/2012

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Angel, I don't know what would make you think that no one has actually read what you wrote before commenting, but if you don't want to hear what other mothers have to say than why did you post on here in the first place?

All babies have a fear of falling at first. They are learning to walk for the first time. All you can do, is when she tries, is to encourage her and praise her for trying.

Angel - posted on 05/06/2012

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oh well, no one seems to be reading what I wrote.
I'll believe a doctor with his own children over everyone else.

thanks.

Bonnie - posted on 05/06/2012

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She is around the average age where babies begin to walk. There is nothing wrong with the fact that she is not walking yet. Some babies take a lot longer; around 18 months. Your child should be ready to do it on her own when she is ready so doesn't sound like she is.

Kirsten - posted on 05/06/2012

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My baby was exactly the same, and just 2 days past her first birthday she walked. I didnt encourage her at all, as someone else prevously said, seeing others walking around is encouragement enough. one day they are crawling and cruising (holding onto things) and the next day they just seem to get it and they are walking. Try not to worry about it, she will just do it when she is good and ready, enjoy her last month of babyhood!

Kirsten - posted on 05/06/2012

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My baby was exactly the same, and just 2 days past her first birthday she walked. I didnt encourage her at all, as someone else prevously said, seeing others walking around is encouragement enough. one day they are crawling and cruising (holding onto things) and the next day they just seem to get it and they are walking. Try not to worry about it, she will just do it when she is good and ready, enjoy her last month of babyhood!

Vicki - posted on 05/05/2012

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Toddlers generally don't need encouragement to start walking. We never did any kind of encouragement with our boy and he just started walking a few weeks after his first birthday. 11 months is much earlier than average. Frankly I'd be happy with a slightly slower cruising and crawling baby rather than the walker who falls over, then learns to run fast! Humans are programmed to learn to walk, we don't need encouragement at all (barring a physical or developmental disability), it just happens.

Colleen - posted on 05/05/2012

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Hi Angel - not to worry. She'll get it when she's able. The average age for normally developing kids to walk is actually 14-16 months old. My son "cruised" for a several months. One way we helped our kids over the fear is to play with them and help them along by just barely pushing their limits - of course, always being right their to catch them. My kids really liked their "Step and Ride" toy from PlaySkool. It converts back and forth between a skooter car and a walking help.

Caroline Shayamano - posted on 05/04/2012

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she could have fallen and noone saw her, now she is afraid to walk hey, just give her time she will walk as soon as she is ready, or buy her a walking ring, it helps too. My daughter is almost 3, when she started walking she started by running, so now she does not walk pacefully but runs almost all the time and has scars all over her knees. So dont worry she will be running soon and you will be chasing after her.

Angel - posted on 05/04/2012

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I enjoy and cherish every little thing, every single day! thank you do much :)

Mary - posted on 05/04/2012

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My oldest son didn't walk until he was 15 months old. He would crawl everywhere and pull himself up but wouldn't take any steps. One day he stood up and started walking, unsteady at first. Please enjoy your daughter where she is at and don't worry. My son is 36 yr. old with a beautiful family of 4 children. God Bless.

Angel - posted on 05/04/2012

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she decided to hold mommy's and daddy's hands today to walk a little bit!

as I keep saying, I'm trying to encourage her. I do not push or force her to do anything. if I try to hold her hands to help her walk and she doesn't want to, I will let to of her hands and try again later. I will not pull her up, even. I let her pull herself up to show me when she's ready to go!
if people are going to continue to tell me I'm pushing and forcing her, you can easily just not post. ENCOURAGEMENT is important for all ages. I was only concerned because she started showing readiness (doctor agreed) months ago. and there wasn't much worry, I was just wondering if anyone had experienced months of readiness but no signs of walking and what they did to help build their confidence.
I love her more than anything in this world and I will never force or push her to do anything. she will always do things when she is ready, I would just love to show her encouragement.
but she seems to be very busy with her intelligence rather than being physical! which I do love. she is a very smart girl, I was just curious of what other people tried!
thank you everyone for sharing your positive experiences and for the tips and tricks! I really appreciate it :)

ps .. I honestly don't care when she starts walking. she could not walk for many more months! I have too little time to brag to others or try to tell the world of her milestones! I love her for her! and that will never change! :)

Donna - posted on 05/04/2012

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There's nothing that you can really do, when she's ready she'll do it. My niece was walking at about 9 months, she took a few steps then just as suddenly she stopped. She looked like she was going to get up & just go but she didn't do it again until she was just over 12 months old. We were hoping she would be walking to be the flower girl in our wedding witch was a week after her 1st birthday, well if we waited another week she would have walked on her own. She did walk but she held both of my step-son's hands (1 on each side). So maybe if you hold one hand & your husband hold the other or whoever you can get & just have her walk & have someone hold her hands she will feel comfortable enough & then just go on her own. Good luck & I hope you keep us updated.

Don't know why this important but I'm 45 years old, raised 3 children & helped raise my niece.

Max - posted on 05/04/2012

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I suggest that you stop worrying and instead, enjoy her as she is. I have 3 daughters. #1 walked by 13m. #2 was around 14m. Now #1 and #2 are 14 mos. apart, so we planned #3 well, she's 5 years younger than #2 LOL. #3 worried me the most re. walking. She didn't take any steps on her own until she was 15 mos. old! She stood up, took a few halting steps, and then got scared and plopped right back down to the floor LOL. (We have this on video somewhere, too, in case we need to prove it to someone ... not that I can imagine who that's be or when, considering the fact that she's going to be 20yo next week ROFL.) She then didn't walk AT ALL until almost 3 months later! True fact. She had her 5yo and 6yo sisters, her parents, and any loving friends or relatives who happened to be around, to be very willing to pick her up and take her somewhere :D!

I'll tell you what - if she isn't walking by the time she's 2, then you can start (just start) to be concerned. Just remember why they call it the "terrible two's" - a toddler moving at almost the speed of light :)! All too soon you will be having to chase her down and catch her up, and then in a few short years she'll be practically running out that door.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 05/04/2012

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Quit worrying. She'll walk when she's ready. I didn't push it with mine. One walked by 12 months, the other was almost 15 months before he wanted to. And, considering they're 17 & 14 respectively, and the later walker is the more active in sports...LOL...there's nothing wrong with sitting on your hands and letting your baby be a baby.



Especially since you say that you "want to keep her a baby as long as possible"...



On other thing to take into consideration, and personally experienced in my case: The more you "encourage" or push your kids to do something before they are ready, the more likely your children are to develop issues. I pushed my eldest in school when he was just a little guy...and he hates school now. Well, not school, but homework...because I demanded that he constantly re-do it to be "better". I pushed, and he is now resisting.



If you can relax with this, it will help in the long run...trust me!

Emma - posted on 05/04/2012

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Hey, i really dont think theres anything to worry about. My wee girl started cruising at 9months old,then she took a step when she was 11 months herself but that didnt lead to anything as it was the only step she has taken herself, she is now 15months old and very content with just crawling around and still cruising around the furniture. She will take her steps at her own pace as i am sure you have been told loads before,lol. My other wee girl started walking by herself at 12months and my wee boy started walkikng at 16months so theres quite an age range. Hope this helps. :)

Christina - posted on 05/04/2012

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You need to let her do it at her own pace. I think you need to relax and just leave her alone and not try to force or encourage her. If she was really ready she would be walking already. Once she starts walking she's not gonna stop so enjoy it while you can.

NATALIA - posted on 05/04/2012

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My daughter was the same way . 2 days after her birthday she took her first steps but then changed her mind and didn't go back to it till a week later . She is now 12 months and 3 weeks and still wobbles around but is defenatly mOre comfortable and enjoys running away from me. Just give her time ... She will walk when she is ready . I was freaking out because my first child didn't walk till 16 m and we later found out he has autism . My doctor told some babies don't start walking till 14 m .

Bettie - posted on 05/04/2012

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Angel, does she stand for long times playing with something on a coffee table, sit on floor and tell her to come here, have a treat or toy and give her, tell her get up and walk, with a smile and giggle, come on you can do it. if not set her back at the table or have her go between you and her daddy, baby steps is a start, she will before long take off and be running then you'll go .. What did I do.. LOL :-) yike then YOU'LL be doing the running,, LOL have fun another idea I am sure you have tried these, hold her hands and have her walk with you,,♥ ♥ love this age
,

Bettie - posted on 05/04/2012

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She will walk when ready! Just have camera handy, love that age, look for the fun outa this not when why? . :-) let her crawl all over, stand her up say lets go. :-)

Bernadette - posted on 05/04/2012

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Walking before one year gives no advantage to the child. There is no reason to encourage walking earlier than one year other than bragging rights for the parents. As others have pointed out, crawling is very important to a child's overall development.
I must say however, that I am very impressed that she is only 11 months old and already in school.

Rebecca - posted on 05/04/2012

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Don't worry. I think all mom's worry but my now 16 year old started walking at 12 months and his now 12 year old brother started at 11 months. Enjoy it now cause when they start walking, they don't stop and will give you a run for your money...lol.

Crystal - posted on 05/04/2012

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hi angel, I felt the same way with my son. I thought he was completely ready to walk at around seven or eight months old, and I actually did kind of push him to walk when he obviously was not ready yet. We bought him walking wings and everything. The wings were a complete waste of money, he did not like them and preferred to hold our hands. It was really tiresome to always have my arms straight down helping him walk. But he finally got brave and ready enough to walk with the walker, pushing it everywhere. The thing that helped him take his first step is that my mom and I were outside and he was standing at the screen door, he furniture walked away a bit and then boom, took his first solo steps. He has been walking and running since. That was at just over a year old. So my advice to you is, as most others have said, just leave her be and do your own thing and take your cues from her. Her first steps will come when she is confident enough, even if she has been physically ready for months. And once she walks, the chasing and all that comes next, my son is still very cautious an only does what he is completely confident he can do, but im still running after him because his confidence in himself is much higher than what I am ready for him to do. Good luck.

Donna - posted on 05/04/2012

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See if your state has an Early Intervention Program. They will come to your home and do an assessment(most states do this for free) and if she needs some help they would help you.

Pamela - posted on 05/03/2012

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Is she pulling up on furniture and walking around by holding onto things like a coffee table or the couch? This is a sure sign of being ready to take steps unaided.

Hopefully you are holding each hand of hers in your own and allowing her to walk in-between your legs. This will also give her confidence.

Children sense our feelings. She may be sensing your anxiety about the situation and this may cause her hesitation. Allow her to develop on her own. STOP WORRYING!!!!!!! Worry is based in FEAR!

FEAR is:
F alse
E vidence
A ppearing
R eal! RELAX!!! Let her do it when she is ready! Get rid of your anxiety about it all. LIVE IN THE MOMENT...not the future!

Caitlin - posted on 05/03/2012

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Take her to a park, baseball field or whatever where there aren't going to be a lot of kids. We took my daughter to an airport to watch the planes when she was 13 months and she started walking just before July 4. My daughter is very advanced (she's 3 and thinks like she's 4). She did everything early except the walking (on time) and we discovered it was because we had 2 big dogs and a puppy who could have knocked her down.

[deleted account]

It sounds like you are already encouraging her enough. What I found with my kids is that they might be on the verge of reaching some milestone - then they would suddenly stop. It may not be about fear. Babies are learning so much at once, that sometimes their energy just switches focus. She may be more interested in babbling than walking right now, or working on fine motor skills, or even just having a growth spurt that makes her a bit less coordinated. Don't worry, walking will be back on her agenda before long. Statistically, 11 months is on the younger side to be walking, even if she was doing things like cruising the furniture very early. I would continue to do all the normal things you're already doing. If she won't walk holding your hand then take a break from that for a few days, then offer it again. If she gets to 14 or 15 months and isn't walking, then you can ask your pediatrician if he has any concerns about her muscle development, etc. But I doubt that will happen. Good luck!

Emily - posted on 05/03/2012

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Hi I also had this with my youngest, she was ready to walk, showing all signs and from what we can tell her brother was putting her off, he is only a year older than her so when ever she was standing (or trying to) as he ran round the house he would not mean to but almost always nock her over, in the end she stopped trying, She did not start walking until 2 months ago, she will be 2 on monday.
It may sound mean but one of the things I used to do was put her in a dress, as she could not craw very well in dresses and used to get very frustrated so I then would go and show her the idea of walking again, giving her my hands or a toy she could push and walk behind.
Do you have any ride on toyswith handles behind them, there are other toys you can get designed for children to walk behind, it may be the fear and falling holding her back, she just needs the chance to develop her balance.
My first child was walking at 10mths, yet all the others (I have 4) were well after the 1st birthday, and as I said Abigail has just started, so I can understand to worry you feel, another thing we have noticed about Abbie is she is pidgin toed which may have had a point in holding her back, just keep encourging her but dont worry if she doesnt get it yet, she will not be at a disadvantage because of it, also another point, do you have older children?? younger children tend to take longer just because they dont need to as the older children will come help, I always thought they would learn faster due to wanting to be part of the runninh and noise lol.
Anyway I hoped that helped, either way she will be fine :-)

Elfrieda - posted on 05/03/2012

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Angel, if you are done with this thread, you can lock it. Hunt around the area of your original question and click some buttons and you'll figure it out.

STELLA CHISOM - posted on 05/03/2012

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You might feel she is ready to walk in her 61/2 months,that may not be true because is very rare to see a baby walking in her 7 months.My 1st daughter started walking in her 10months as in proper walking without support while my 2nd daughter started walking properly in her 8 months and 2 wks..so l think you should let her be so that she will not scared of falling while walking.When the time comes she will do so..cheers

Carol - posted on 05/03/2012

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There are things out there to help them walk but really 11 months is still early. Give it time. She will gain confidents and her bones will develop more and she will walk. I have 1 daughter that didn't walk till she was 15 months. ( she developed slower because she couldn't hear) Her daughter was older than that cause they never put her down because of all the bugs in Mexico but when they moved in with me she walked real soon after that.. Just give her more time. Be patient.

Heather - posted on 05/03/2012

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With the walker - they refer to the kind they sit in that delays walking, not the kind they push. So no worries there. Yours sounds just like mine!

Heather - posted on 05/03/2012

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I experienced the same thing angel - it was very odd. My daughter was so advanced and rolled over at 2 weeks and was crawling - army style - before two months. I thought mine would be walking at 7 months for sure, but she was scared. Don't worry, they eventually get over the fear. Just keep walking with her holding her hand. You can try to the whole clothes pin in the hand trick, so she thinks she is holding your hand (the old style round clothes pins). She finally started on her own at 12 months. It was a surprise, but it turns out it was a really good thing - they can reach even higher when they are good at walking. They are more brave to stretch. Now her brother was going at 10 months, but seemed ready at 7 months too. I think watching his sister walk around helped there.

Dream - posted on 05/03/2012

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My youngest son in nearly 11 months old and still only crawls, my oldest son(almost 3) started walking at 10 months. Its actually better developmentally for babies to crawl as long aspossible. It helps their lower back get the curve it needs and help with learning as they get older. I think with my boys their personalities are different, my oldest is fearless and my youngest likes to sit back and watch all tbe craziness. All kids have their own pace.

Also, I don't belive the earlier comments about "pushing" were meant to be insulting.

I hope everything starts to happen for you(at her pace). Its hard not to compare your child to anothers, but you have to remember...no two kids are alike. I have to remind myself of that sometimes.

Angel - posted on 05/03/2012

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thanks everyone for the positive posts!
she has been pulling herself up, walking along the couch, table, crib railing, ect as well as sitting down without holding onto anything, standing completely on her own since about six and a half months old. she doesn't want to walk holding my hands, only using her walker. I did read that using a walker can slow her down with walking, because her form is improper. although, she can turn it, practically run, etc with it!
I'm definitely not trying to rush her, I'd love for her to be my little baby forever. I just want to find new ways to show her encouragement!
I've held both her hands, let to of one while supporting her torso and not. She just sits right down, instead of continuing. I know she doesn't feel ready, but I'd like to show her that momt won't let her fall! :)
I think I will get her in a children's group or something, she seems more eager when she's around her 4 and 5 year old cousins.
Thanks so much everyone!

YOLANDA - posted on 05/03/2012

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My son didnt walk till he was thirteen months. Same as your daughter, was ready but didnt. But when he did he just took off!!!! No falling, and getting up, no face plants into the floor and screaming after. She will take off when she is ready. Once they start walking nothing is safe in the house. Enjoy the next couple months that you still know where she is. Cause the chase will be on soon enough!!!! :)

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