Now what do we do about our hubby's annoying habits?

Brooklyn - posted on 06/15/2011 ( 61 moms have responded )

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We have all concluded our husbands have annoying habits, some more than others but now what? What do we do about it? Do I have to pick up my husbands dirty clothes from the foot of our bed for the rest of my life? Really? I do love my husband but I'm tired and I have 2 kids if I wanted a 3rd I would of had another. Please help I'm going nuts!!

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Sherri - posted on 06/16/2011

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Honestly I don't do anything about it. WHY? you ask because I know I have habits that drive him crazy too. Since I don't change because it drives him crazy, I can't possibly expect he will either. In the long run, is it really that big of a deal to have to clean up his clothes in the bathroom everyday when I am cleaning anyways, No it literally takes 30secs. or shut the light off behind him nah. If that is all that is wrong in my world I think I have it pretty damn good.

Regina - posted on 06/16/2011

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my hubby does the same thing. I'm just grateful that the dirty clothes stay in our room where i can shut the door and ignore it for the most part. When he gets tired of stepping on stuff or can't find that one shirt he picks it up though. I politely explained to him that i have 4 people to take care, not counting him so if he needs clean clothes they need to make it to the laundry room. It could always be worse.

[deleted account]

I have a friend who kicked everything he left on the floor under the bed for one week. At the end of that week he was looking for something and asked her where it was. She said "If it was in the laundry basket I washed it and put it away. Was it in the laundry basket?"

He said "yes". After he did some searching she pointed out that it was in fact left on the floor and was now under the bed as she was no longer washing his clothes if they weren't in the basket.

He's never done it again!!

Kelly - posted on 06/22/2011

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We have all been there!

If he says you're nagging him and are never satisfied, tell him it is hard to be satisfied when you have to constantly nag a grown man to pick up his own dirty clothes.

If talking to him and being reasonable will not work, go on strike. Do nothing for him Don't cook for him, or pick up his clothes or do any of his laundry. Take care of only yourself and the children. When he starts nagging you about it, turn the cards on him. Tell him its impossible to satisfy him and you're sick of him nagging you to clean up after him. Then, explain to him the way it makes you feel for him to do nothing.

Good luck

Katherine - posted on 06/15/2011

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Push them off the bed onto the floor until they make a huge pile......

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Gloria - posted on 12/23/2016

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Let him come back from work and see that you have not picked up his socks and reduce the amount of cash for your own spending... and if next day still they are there you will have your holidays shorten by 2 days... and if you refuse to wash his cloths let him not give you money for the beauty parlor, cosmetics, nail polish, etc.

And you really want to have a fight for this... believe me little annoying things are marriage breakers... not worth.
Every time he does something annoying just think in a good thing that he does.... he loves you and gives you what you want when you ask in a nice way!
Marriage is about love... and love covers everything even the annoying things!

Gloria - posted on 12/23/2016

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To pick up your husbands socks (cloths) takes you at the most 5 seconds.
Your husband goes to work all day to cover the necessary needs in the house, to buy your cloths, your shoes, to take you out from time to time or on holiday... is it fair to waist both of you energy in a fight for the 5 seconds?

Corinna - posted on 06/26/2011

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My ex husband would leave his clothes under the sink and other places and it drove me nuts. He said he does not want me to do his laundry. When we were broken up I missed his dirty laundry on the floor! If your hubby wants you to do his laundry I think the trick just not washing what he did not put in the hamper might work. Or maybe one day it will put a smile on your face picking up his laundry thinking that men never grow up ;-)

Anuradha - posted on 06/24/2011

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I m lucky not to go thru this. However a few suggestions:-
1. Dont make him understand....just leave the clothes where they are.( otherwise keep them aside).
2.dont wash his clothes unless they are kept at the right place.
3. stop grumbling & prepare urself for not doing what u dont like. believe me it has got nothing to do with ur undying love for the man.

Carly - posted on 06/21/2011

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I quit putting away my honeys laundry and made him do it for a while ( he just left it in the laundry basket for 1/2 a week before he wold put it away so it got very wrinkly) then i made a deal with him that if he can pick up his dirty laundry everyday I would put his clean laundry away for him. He agreed thinking he got a deal:)

Felicia - posted on 06/21/2011

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I have been married 36 years. He still does it. I decided I am a neat freak and he will pick it up in his own time. There is a reason women are called b___hes. We want things done now and like we would do it. Let him wash his own clothes and kick under the bed what he won't pick up.

Kelley - posted on 06/20/2011

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I love the nail gun idea, but I have very nice old floors. I tries something new this weekend and it worked the one time we did it. I got said hubby off the couch and said " "Right now we are going to do a half hour quick clean up around the house." Got my 8 year old too. I jumped around like a cheerleader until they got going and we all picked up together. I pointed out stuff that needed to get done, and it worked. Unfortunately, I only see my husband on the weekends, so it will only work then, but at least it is a start.

Sherri - posted on 06/19/2011

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Some of you guys scare me, I think I am very glad I am not married to some of you.

Brooklyn - posted on 06/19/2011

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Thanks ladies. Very helpful posts. I'm looking at the whole situation differently now. Thanks again

Yvette - posted on 06/19/2011

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Have you got a nailgun and a wooden floor? Nail his stuff to the floor...its hilarious!

Victoria - posted on 06/19/2011

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The best advice I ever got was from my mom. She told me that if it is something like that that bugs me, it is just easier for me to do it. Chances are, if he does start to pick them up he will end up doing it wrong anyway. I have found that once I just started to do the things that he won't, the fights have stopped and we live peacefully! Plus, we have annoying habits that bug them too.

Angela - posted on 06/19/2011

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The answer is "Yes" you do have to pick up his dirty cloths for the rest of your life and hopefully there is something that he is also going to do for you for the rest of your life. Give and Take is what marriage is about. We don't all have the same annoying habits so this may make his seem larger than life, but I guarantee you there is something that you do that annoys the shit out of him and he is holding his tongue back because he loves you.

Yvette - posted on 06/19/2011

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He obviously doesn't see it as a priority. He doesnt think its a big deal leaving his clothes on the floor/end of bed/etc and same with any of the other domestic bad habits he has. Maybe you can tell him that no matter how irrational he may think it is, because he will think you are being irrational, you are the nurturer and look after the house and those that live in it, you want to do your best to look after everyone and keep the house clean. You do it because you want him to feel looked after and loved. Tell him that you also need him to be your partner, and not one of the kids, so things like not bothering to put his clothes in the wash basket really get to you as you feel like he doesnt care about what important to you, and that it leaves you feeling like he expects you to be his slave, when you had hoped he wanted you to be his partner. If you have to write this in a letter then do it. Explain that you are no longer going to pick up after him as if hes a child, but treat him like your partner, your support. Let him know you are sorry for acting like his mother (yes say you are sorry), and that you will no longer do this, but it will come at a price. If he doesnt clean up after himself like the kids have to (I presume the kids have their own chores they have to do and are expected to put their clothes in the wash basket too, if not, make a new rule for everyone!) you will assume that hes happy to not have his clothes washed at that time. Only clothes in the wash basket will be washed, his things that are left out around the house will be put in a basket/box in a certain place (do not be tempted to sort this box out when it starts to over flow - completely ignore how bad it gets). Then leave it at that...see what happens after a month of this, but don't change the plan.

Jaymie - posted on 06/19/2011

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I have a partner who use to always leave his dirty socks NEXT to the washing basket, what's up with that. But, with much consistent asking and some slight nagging, he no longer does it. Maybe a liilte nagging does go a long way, or maybe my partner's an exception. If all else fails, try bargaining..he picks up his own shit, and you give him "something" in return. Can't hurt to try. Good luck!!

Audrey - posted on 06/18/2011

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Collect them in a garbage bag-you're picking them up anyways, and when he runs out of clothes, hand them to him and tell him since they were at the foot of the bed, you didn't know what he intended to do with them. But if he needs them, HE might want to wash them.

Sherri - posted on 06/18/2011

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Just so you know not everyone has a dishwasher these days either LOL. I don't have one and never have. I do dishes by hand at least 5x's a day as I do inhome daycare and am the mother to 3 boys. So I do 3 meals a day plus snacks.

TealRose - posted on 06/18/2011

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Hmm apparently .. my dad would 'disappear' at washing up time after dinner. Mum got sick of doing the dishes herself [no dishwasher in those days!] and so .. she washed hers and ours .. but put dad's dirty plates etc in a plastic bowl in the garden... After a few days... WE had our clean plates to eat off .. but HE had to wash up before he could be served !!! Mum said this worked well .....!! I wouldn't know .. my husband has ALWAYS helped out! Although .. he does leave the odd plate/cup in the lounge.... !! lol!

Stephanie - posted on 06/18/2011

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Sounds familiar, I do the same thing and guess what he does a lot of his own laundry because he decides he needs them that day or morning. I do not say much to him, just that I only do the laundry in the downstairs hamper. I work too.

Malori - posted on 06/18/2011

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I've told him before and pretty much stand by it that if your clothes aren't in a hamper or the laundry room, they're not getting done. If you go to work in dirty clothes, its not my fault. Something as simple as putting the shirt IN the hamper and not NEXT to the hamper shouldn't fall on me just because I stay home and clean every day. You do your part outside of the home but at the same time, your day doesn't end when you come into our home. You have responsibilites like myself and eventually the same the kids will have when they're that age. Its a matter of respect on their part for what we do.

Debby - posted on 06/18/2011

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Jozelle, my heart goes out to you! And that's what I was trying to get across--annoying doesn't compare to gone, does it? I hope you don't take offense if I say a prayer for you.

Jozelle - posted on 06/18/2011

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Sorry, ladies. I saw this post and thought of all the "annoying"habits my husband had. I would love to be have it all back. Clothes on the floor, dishes in the sink, etc. Even our arguments. My husband died four months ago in a car accident. So thinking about all this "annoying stuff" is petty.

J Marie - posted on 06/18/2011

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This happened to me when I was a newlywed. I left them on the floor. It was was hard to look at a messy room but I was determined if he could stand it, so could I. Then one morning he got up to go to work and had nothing clean to wear. He said "I don't have anything clean to wear," My reply, "That's funny, I washed everything that was in the dirty clothes hamper." From that day forward he picked his clothes up and placed them in the hamper. Good luck

Shirley - posted on 06/18/2011

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I once asked my partner why he didnt do washing up, he replied..."well, I eat at work so i dont dirty the plates" so i explained that as i didnt wear his clothes and i didnt dirty them that i wouldnt be washing them!

Joanne - posted on 06/17/2011

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I agree with Sandra. My patner has a seasonal job so he is off all winter and spring so I dont' think it is too much to ask for a little help especially when I have a job that forces me to work at odd hours. No one needs to wake up at 6am for breakfast or stay up till midnight for dinner. i don't want to have to do all my chores on my one day off either.

Sandra - posted on 06/17/2011

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If my husband's washing is not in the washing basket, it dosen't get washed. No clean clothes can make them think. And more of his clean clothes are on the floor of the bedroom than in the cupboard. It can be embarassing but I'm not his slave. I have three kids to pick up after and am NOT adding him to the list. He needs to work with me. To be fair, he usually is open to me talking to him about it, but if I just bitch at him, or whinge or complain, he will ignore me. Men don't get hints, tell him directly that you have a problem and ask him to help.

Alisha - posted on 06/17/2011

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One of my married friends also had this problem and she had told him a million times to please put the clothes in the hamper and he never would. He did not intentionally try to annoy her, it was just his habit he did not think much of for whatever reason. She has since let go of being annoyed about it and just does it and moves on with her life. I think that 'annoying' things are what you make of them, just pick up the clothes and put them right in the washer and then there is no problem. There are def worse things!

Alice - posted on 06/17/2011

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Love him and things will work out. 31 years and there are things that drive me nuts but I think about the feelings of being alone and almost loosing him to heart problems and I am blessed to have a man who's there for me.

[deleted account]

put them in his pillow case. My husband left his dirty underwear on the bathroom floor every single morning, even though there's a basket RIGHT THERE. Drives me crazy, so I started putting them in his pillow case. Took him about 4 days to realize what was in there! But it worked!

[deleted account]

Seeing as how my husband is old enough to reach the knobs on the washer and dryer, he does his own laundry. I had the same rule for my kids, I taught them how to do their own laundry when they were around 10. They have been doing their own laundry ever since. They are all grown now and are VERY grateful that I taught them how. Since most of the husbands referenced to on this thread are probably over 10 then teach them to do their own laundry.

Therese - posted on 06/17/2011

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I have same problem, put a washing basket at end of bed. Said clothes go in, clothes get washed. For probably one week he kept dropping on floor i kicked everything into a pile right where he stands to get into bed, and left it there, i do not pick up anymore, everything dropped or hungon bed goes under his side of the doona. No basket, no wash, the run out of undies eventually.

Lisa - posted on 06/17/2011

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That would drive me crazy. I can handle the clothes in the bedroom, but the underwear and the empty cans would drive me crazy.

Lisa - posted on 06/17/2011

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Luckly my husband isn't too bad, but he does leave clothes around. Drives me nuts, but I have gotten better about not letting it get to me so much. We have a rocking chair in my bedroom and I pretty much dump all of his things on there and he eventually takes care of it. If you have tried talking to him about it and that doesn't work then I am not sure. I would just start putting it in one spot that doesn't bug you and then see what happens. He may get the picture and stop. If his clothes are not getting washed then he may start picking them up. My husdband drops a pair of pants and shirt every day on the side of the bed. I am able to overlook it because it is between the bed and the wall. Out of sight and it doesn't bug me as much.

Debby - posted on 06/17/2011

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Amen! Hubby used to leave tissues EVERY WHERE...and on night when I thought life might undergo a huge change ( he had a knot on his neck & needed surgery) I was up praying & waiting...came across another one & realized: if he was gone, it would be the tissues I would miss! Cause he wasn't there to leave them....

Natasha - posted on 06/17/2011

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Think about what it would be like if suddenly you didn't have your husband to pick up after anymore. You might actually miss those dirty clothes. Wives do have big jobs, often thankless chores go un noticed, but know that our hubby's would be lost without us and deep down they do appreciate it.

Kelley - posted on 06/17/2011

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My husband's side of the bed is a big pile of clothes. It is disgusting. It is like having another child in the house. I work full-time and it kills me, but I leave the clothes there. He also has a long-haired dog he had to have, that sheds everywhere. I am at my wit's end, so I started leaving the house a mess and not looking down. Once in a while things get done, but only when we are having guests. It stinks. No amount of screaming, nagging or asking nicely works. I get to a point where I have to vacuum, but nothing I've tried works. There is dirty underwear in the living room and soda cans in the bathroom. I am always pulling out my hair. I don't want our son to grow up thinking this is normal. Help!

KAZ - posted on 06/17/2011

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Joanne. Just love it when they start talking and then help mommy. My husband swore last night and my 2 year old came to the kitchen and said Mommy, spank daddy bottom. It was so cute.I love this little tattle tale

Debby - posted on 06/17/2011

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Ladies, you won't change them...after 27 years, mine still does this. But he does get it into the basket by laundry day--every week. No sense letting the little things get to you. The same energy you spend getting annoyed can be put to use picking it up or putting the basket by the bed--maybe his aim will improve!

[deleted account]

My husband lil habits use to annoy me. But if picking up his dirty clothes make his day easier, then I will. It took a loonnggg time, but the more I go out of my way for him he does the same.

Joanne - posted on 06/17/2011

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My pattner ( well ex now) used to leave his clothes all over the floor and never picked them up and I got tired of it. So Whenever i did laundry I only washed waht was in the hamper. He would ask why I didn't do any of his laundry. I rold him if it's not in the laundry I don't do it. I'm not his mom and I'm not picking up after him. it took a few times, but it worked. Now if he does it our 4 yr old says "Daddy your clothes aren't in the basket." so then he picks up his cltohes.

Jenni - posted on 06/17/2011

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@KAZ- Lmao, that sounds like the same disciplinary measure I use on my kids when they don't keep their room tidy.

Donna - posted on 06/17/2011

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I have asked him nicely to help. I have begged, nagged and screamed. I make lists and he crosses the chores off the list but never does them. Screaming is the only thing that works - but only sometimes.

Jenni - posted on 06/17/2011

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With mine, nothing really... aside from tease him a little. We all have annoying habits. I focus on the positives. I try to worry about my own annoying habits not changing others'. Although, I can see in some cases where annoying habits go past the point of annoying! Unless the habit is really detrimental, I let 'em go. I try not to call the kettle black. ;)



When I find dirty underwear or his stinky socks, I throw 'em at him. If I'm lucky they land right on his face. Bahahhaha... if I have to pick them up, at least I can make it into a fun game.

KAZ - posted on 06/17/2011

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I did what Vicky did. What's not in the wash is not in the wash. I also packed everything shoes, cd's, books, rubbage,etc in a black bag and put it by the bin. The morning of bin collection I warned him that whatevere he is looking for will be gone in 10 min. and that the same will happen next week. Problem solved

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