ODD

Jennifer - posted on 09/12/2016 ( 13 moms have responded )

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My 7 yr old says I'm a bad mom and need classes. I tried to explain that if he'd only do what I ask such as get dressed we would have no issues.

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Diana - posted on 09/14/2016

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8 months ago I asked my kids what made a good mommy. The answers were intriguing to say the least. I also asked what makes a bad mommy. Here were my responses:
Good mommy:
7-year-old: giving lots of love
9-year-old: making cookies, buying us something at the store
13-year-old: someone who's not too much at work
15-year-old: someone you can talk to about anything

Bad mommy:
7-year-old: not letting me get a toy that I really want and tricking me (ok, so like that day he wanted a toy and I was going to buy it for him as a present and surprise him with it. Well, he made sure that it got through the checkout but I hid it afterwards and told him I didn't buy it. I actually ended up taking it back to the store.)
9-year-old: spanking and hitting, making us clean everything when she should just do it.
13-year-old: someone who lies
15-year-old:kids don't trust and not paying attention to the kids.

Dove - posted on 09/13/2016

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Hey, I'm resorting to paying my son to get his homework done w/out a battle... and it still doesn't really work. lol These stubborn kids WILL rule the world one day... if we can let them live that long. ;) lol ♥

Sarah - posted on 09/12/2016

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I think that is a pretty good response. If kids came with a handbook, life would be much easier!

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Jennifer - posted on 09/13/2016

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lol...I hear ya....too intelligent and manipulative for their own good...but one day will be GREAT leaders if we can get them through this and headed the correct direction!

Jennifer - posted on 09/13/2016

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I'll let you know tomorrow how the battle goes tonight and in the morning...

Jennifer - posted on 09/13/2016

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Yup he dressed in the car today. I just do not want that to be an acceptable answer...I will use the timer and set the timeline TODAY and get some poker chips. Thank yo for helping. I NEED IT!

Sarah - posted on 09/13/2016

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I am not a fan of incentive plans for kids, but it may help him form a routine in the short term. Sit him down and write a timeline, 10 minutes to dress, 20 to eat, 5 to pack up and out we go. Every day he completes the tasks on time he can earn a token (poker chips are cheap and a good visual) Once he earns 5 or 10, he can get a reward. Something simple like pizza for dinner, or a half hour of extra TV? This can be effective for a short term but kids are very smart and they will quickly start upping the ante. What he did for one token, next he will only do for two tokens and so on. It's worth a shot, and if you do it for a month or so, he may fall into a routine. Lots and lots of positive reinforcement may help too. Wow, you were so fast today! I am so proud of you!
Like Dove said too, if you put him in the car in his PJs he can either go into the school like that or learn to get dressed on time!

Jennifer - posted on 09/13/2016

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Thank you for your suggestions. I'll break out the timer tonight! and use it in the mornings too! I'll try anything at this point! Thanks again, it's surely worth a try :)

Dove - posted on 09/12/2016

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Sounds a lot like my kid only he doesn't have ODD... he's just stubborn and extremely willful. lol

What if you don't stress about it? Set a timer for when he needs to get dressed and then another timer for when it's time to leave (set that one for a couple of minutes before you actually HAVE to go out the door though). When the timer to leave goes off... it's time to go whether he is dressed or not.... and bring his clothes, so he can get dressed. You know this is how he is, so the less you can stress about it... the better.

From experience I know this is a LOT easier said than done... our issue is getting him to stay on track and get ready for bed... and many nights are ended by me getting frustrated and angry... which makes him frustrated and angry and he just takes longer when he's mad.

Good luck! Oh... and ignore the 'bad mom' comments. That's a standard response when a child doesn't get what they want.

Jennifer - posted on 09/12/2016

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For sure, but every morning he is up at 6:30 and has 1 hour and 15 min to simply eat breakfast and get himself dressed...no tv no nothing on and he just invents things to do except what he's supposed to.....pushing my buttons....literally gets dressed while I'm starting the car. It's so stressful every morning. I don't know what to do.

Jennifer - posted on 09/12/2016

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He thinks he is but we both know better. He has been in counseling for a couple years now and the ODD is only when he is asked to complete a task that he doesn't "want" to do such as get dressed or brush teeth...or if he doesn't get what he wants when he wants it...is told no. I stick to my guns no means no and when I take something away he does NOT get it back but he pushes every button he can to make me miserable.

He says I'm a bad mom and I need a class. I explained that kids don't come with books, sorry you feel that way, mommy is doing the best that she can and it's harder when you don't do what you're told and continue to be rude.

Sarah - posted on 09/12/2016

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If your child has ODD, then you may need some help from a behavioral therapist to learn how to get him to comply. However, for him to tell you that you are a bad mom and need classes? Who is really in charge?

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