ok! im out of ideas and have no idean what to do, PLEASE HELLP!!

Jessica - posted on 01/06/2011 ( 11 moms have responded )




My daughter just turned 4 and i want her to go to kinder this year but there is a problem, she is not interested in going to the toilet, i tried kinkers, nappy pants (she is wearing them now) with wetness liners, potty, toilet seats, encouragement, surprises ummm talking, i just dont know what else to do im so stressted over it!


Kate CP - posted on 01/06/2011




Does she want to go to kindergarten? If she does just tell her she can't go until she's potty trained. I told my daughter "You can't go play with the other kids until you can go potty on the potty and not in your pants." Worked pretty well.

Kristin - posted on 01/06/2011




Back off and try again in a few weeks. If you turn this into a battle, she will win EVERY time. In the mean time, stock up on laundry detergent. Put her cloth trainers so she knows when she is soiled, ask her if she needs to use the potty any time you go, and just be patient. Also talk to her about things that she might really like to do. That might be the incentive she needs. Also, never underestimate the power of peer pressure. Do you have a friend with a child her age? Does she have a toilet trained friend she likes to spend time with? Play dates could help.

Good luck, I promise she will get this eventually.

Medic - posted on 01/06/2011




When my son turned 2 we took away the diapers and got him a potty watch. What a potty watch is, is a toilet shaped watch that you can set to go off every 30, 45,60,90 or 120 min and when it goes off it plays this really catchy potty song and reminds them to go to the bathroom. We did a few days at 30 then moved up every few days. By the end of two weeks we were done.


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Rosie - posted on 01/11/2011




Not sure if this will help but, I have a 6 year old autistic child (not saying your child has autism) I am in the process of toilet training her and I set my kitchen timer for every 45 mins and take her to the toilet ( I have a child toilet seat on my toilet) so far she hasn't done anything but, atleast I am getting her used to the toilet. I would suggest that you tell her no more nappies and just let her have accidents. (I know this is horrible for you and her but sometime we have to be cruel to be kind).

Good luck.

Susan - posted on 01/10/2011




None of my daughters could be bribed. Stubborn like their mother LOL. My oldest was 3 and 1/2 and she finally trained in a little over a week. I put her panties (the thick waffle ones that don't leave puddles) and went to the grocery store. She had an accident and she had to wait 15 minutes while I drove home. as it was -20 out and she had to sit in it she got a rude awakening. Put her in panties and go out on little trips so she will have accidents. She'll figure it out fast. Just say I'm sorry I don't have anything for you to change into so now we have to go home. A little pressure never hurt anyone.

Bonnie - posted on 01/07/2011




As Kate mentioned, if she is interested in school and reallt wants to be able to go, tell her she has to use the potty in order to go. I did that with my older son and it worked along with keeping him naked below the waist and the potty near him. Whenever he was covered he would pee no matter what he was wearing. When he was naked he could feel the urge to go right away.

Meadow - posted on 01/07/2011




My daughter and I did it in a weekend. A very messy weekend, but I got it done. I told her we were going to have a "Panty Party". If she could learn...and she was 3 1/2 and WAY stubborn!! I took of her diaper, Took of the nappies, And put her in plain old panties. We stayed home, played a lot of games and things in her room that just happened to be right next to the bathroom. Had snack, drank juice and we worked on it. It worked! But we did have a couple of accidents and I told her it's okay. To this day that child still know where every kid friendly toe in our area is where she can use the potty!

Dora - posted on 01/07/2011




Definitely let her watch you use the potty. Kids like to copy their parents. Also just be consistent with the potty training. Don't give up. It may just take a little longer but they all get the hang of it when ready. One key thing is NOT to make it a negative experience. Keep it positive even if you want to scream because it can be so frustrating. Good luck!

Angie - posted on 01/07/2011




I didn't potty train my children really. I handed them the cutest underwear I could find in the store and told them that as soon as they only used the big potty they could wear them. It took a couple of days for one, a couple of weeks for one, and a couple of months for one. I don't know if the underwear worked or if they were finally ready to be potty trained. Doing what Kate suggested will help to, "if you want to go to kinder with your friend_____, you'll need to be potty trained". Good luck!

Laura - posted on 01/07/2011




Good advice so far! All of these ideas presented can work together to create a "plan of attack". First, back off, as Kristin suggests, for a week or so. This will give you time to find a method of training to use. When you think you have a method that you want to use, stick with it. Incocnsistency and constantly changing expectations and methods can create confussion for your daughter, making it less likely that she will understand what exactly you want from her. Use your chosen method consistently for at least a week--if your daughter is going to learn to use the potty this is about the average time frame for a child to grasp the concept. If she hasn't figured it out after a week, stop, wait about a week and then try again. You can consider trying a different approach at this time or use the same method. Starting and stopping the training process is quite normal, especially if you want to avoid the stress! It will give everyone involved an opportunity to re-group.

While I've never heard of a potty watch, Jennifer's idea of using one is excellent. Combine this with Kate's idea of using Kindergarten/school as an incentive--no school until you can go to the potty by yourself (school rules!). Kristin also makes another good point--peer pressure! Being around other potty-trained kids can help influence her to take more interest.

Finally, I'll add an "old school" trick that I learned from my sister-in-law: Cloth training pants. Do not use the diaper-like pull-ups during the day. These act like diapers/nappies and keep the child from actually feeling the wetness when they urinate so they do not get the "uncomfortable" cues. I used a double pair or cloth trraining pants (these are a much heavier cotton cloth with extra "padding" in the crotch area) and a vinyl/rubber cover (helps keep clothes dry). When the child urinates, they know it! After just a few days of using this, my daughter would catch herself starting to pee and run to the bathroom to use the potty! Sometimes she didn't quite make it, especially in the beginning, but she caught on pretty quickly and was going in th potty before long. As a reward for learning how to go potty by herself, she got to go shopping with me to pick out brand new "big girl" panties of her choice! I think they were Disney princesses...

So take a deep breath, relax, and understand that some kids get it right away and others take some time. Your daughter WILL get it, you just need some patience. When you do try again remember to be consistent using positive language and praise when she is successful. Avoid negative comments (I know it can be very frustrating for you as the parent); just be matter-of-fact about accidents, letting your daughter know that she will get it and to keep trying. This is a stage of development for your daughter and soon it will pass! Hope this helps and good luck!

Thejordan_family - posted on 01/06/2011




so hard... you are really going to have to work hard on this one. The only idea I have is a very TIME CONSUMING one. Take her to the potty every 15-20 minutes. Count to 20 and then take her off. Eventually you will catch something. Lots of encouragement/candy/stickers... whatever works and continue the regiment for a couple of days. It is a hard one.

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